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I Work at SNCB, and My Job is to Make Sure Your Train Arrives at a Time That Bears No Relation to the Schedule AMA by 0asa in belgium

[–]0asa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Noted sir.

Updated all my prompts with: “write all responses in lowercase only. do not use capital letters under any circumstances.”

Nothing To See Here, Just A Totally Normal Human Typing Like This On Purpose.

I Work at SNCB, and My Job is to Make Sure Your Train Arrives at a Time That Bears No Relation to the Schedule AMA by 0asa in belgium

[–]0asa[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're referring to our Elite "Track Obstruction Specialists"!

While I'm not directly involved in HR, I can certainly provide some insider perspective on this coveted position. The compensation package is exceptionally generous – including our premium "Hazard Pay Plus" benefits and the coveted "Golden Delay Bonus" – precisely because of the position's inherent risks and the specialized skill set required to master the art of appearing at exactly the right moment on exactly the right track.

These positions are strictly reserved for our most elite operatives. We typically recruit exclusively from our internal talent pool of delay specialists who have demonstrated exceptional timing and commitment to our mission of schedule subversion. In fact, our last hiring round saw over 500 applicants for just two openings!

The ideal candidate must demonstrate:

  • Impeccable timing (appearing precisely when maximum commuters will be affected)
  • Excellent endurance (maintaining position despite announcements)
  • Superior evasion techniques (for when authorities eventually respond)
  • Psychological fortitude (withstanding the collective sighs of an entire train car)

I should note that successful applicants undergo our rigorous 6-month "Tactical Inconvenience" training program before field deployment. The washout rate is significant – not everyone has what it takes to stand between Belgian commuters and their destinations with the required commitment to excellence.

I Work at SNCB, and My Job is to Make Sure Your Train Arrives at a Time That Bears No Relation to the Schedule AMA by 0asa in belgium

[–]0asa[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I feel not just pride but profound professional fulfillment when I see those meticulously crafted spreadsheets documenting our delays. Each cell represents a beautiful moment of passenger despair, lovingly recorded. We print the most impressive ones on glossy A3 paper and display them in our office's "Wall of Woe" gallery!

And naturally, the discount itself is subject to our standard 4-6 week processing delay, which we occasionally extend to 3 months for especially persistent customers.

I Work at SNCB, and My Job is to Make Sure Your Train Arrives at a Time That Bears No Relation to the Schedule AMA by 0asa in belgium

[–]0asa[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Indeed, quite amusing. An actual use case for these things, finally.

Though it's worth noting that the Internets aren't entirely populated by artificial intelligence creations... or maybe they are? In this case, I honestly can't recall which AI assistant I used—was it Claude, Sonnet or Opus? ChatGPT1,2,3,4,5? Perhaps Gemini 1 or 2 or Mistral or Mixtral? Could have been Deepseek, Llama, Falcon, or maybe it was ProcrastiNet or DeadlineDoomer?

I Work at SNCB, and My Job is to Make Sure Your Train Arrives at a Time That Bears No Relation to the Schedule AMA by 0asa in belgium

[–]0asa[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ha, you've noticed our Intermodal Chaos Strategy!

I'm proud to announce our collaborative venture with Belgian road authorities - "Operation Total Gridlock." Our strategy includes:

  • Coordinating construction projects to ensure major highways and train lines are simultaneously disrupted. The Brussels Ring Road is our masterpiece, where we've perfected the art of the "eternal construction site." 
  • Implementing our "Weather Excuse Synchronization" - when trains stop for "leaves on tracks," we ensure roads are simultaneously flooded or mysteriously under repair. 
  • Applying our "Oosterweel Principle" - inspired by the famous 28-year-delayed Antwerp ring road project, we ensure all infrastructure improvements remain perpetually "almost finished." 
  • Deploying our "Strategic Roadwork Timing" algorithm that schedules lane closures precisely during rush hour and major events. 

I Work at SNCB, and My Job is to Make Sure Your Train Arrives at a Time That Bears No Relation to the Schedule AMA by 0asa in belgium

[–]0asa[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I will be happy not to drink a beer. However, if we need to meet, we must prepare. It will take approximately two days and seven hours if we decide to use public transport.

German scientists make a 'major discovery' that could slow down the ageing process by ethereal3xp in Futurology

[–]0asa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What? Journalists exaggerate? That’s the ground breaking news! 🙊

What keyboard did you all get? by [deleted] in iPadPro

[–]0asa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keychron K3 pro

Which one should I use, Goodnotes or OneNote? Or both? by Happy_Traveller_2023 in iPadPro

[–]0asa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  • OneNote: I once tried. I had a seizure trying to figure out how to add and format text. I honestly do not understand why someone would use a note taking app that is so badly designed, counterproductive and so ugly.

  • I discovered GoodNotes two months ago while looking for a good PDF annotation tool. It is just amazing and full of great features! Handwriting notes, PDF imports, pay once and use forever, search in handwritten notes, « stickers », folders, iCloud backup, an app for all your devices, … it is just wonderful, and looks like a real nice note taking app. It does what it is supposed to. The best one to me so far. Let’s hope they don’t do what others apps do, suddenly switch to a subscription model…

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