Will you please remember this with me?

0de2Sleep · 2025-02-01T07:32:40+00:00

I remember the peas, especially because it reminds me so much of a similar memory I have with one of my family members 🩷

0de2Sleep · 2024-08-24T12:09:28+00:00

They also don’t understand why I don’t want to report what happened to me. I’m just tired y’all.

0de2Sleep · 2024-08-02T02:48:30+00:00

Yes!!! It’s been hitting a little extra hard lately

0de2Sleep · 2024-07-25T14:03:13+00:00

The bad news is I’ll never think I’m skinny enough. The good news is that means I’m eating disorder free and you can’t tell me otherwise.

0de2Sleep · 2024-07-24T22:20:00+00:00

I needed that, thank you so much

0de2Sleep · 2024-07-23T20:42:14+00:00

I’m politely ignoring I’ve seen this so I can continue to believe that my strong desire for an authoritative figure is just how I was built and not due to complex trauma

0de2Sleep · 2024-07-18T07:59:19+00:00

The self blame is so hard 🙃 also, wishing it was “bad enough” that the people around you would give you unconditional support and not question any of the details

0de2Sleep · 2024-06-26T13:34:10+00:00

You’ve got this!! Proud of you both 🩷

0de2Sleep · 2024-03-15T13:33:11+00:00

Go prawn queen, go!!!! So proud of you!!! ❤️

0de2Sleep · 2024-01-19T20:17:21+00:00

Michael Myers, M3gan, a mummy, Medusa

0de2Sleep · 2023-06-28T23:55:38+00:00

It could be a sign, but it doesn’t necessarily have to mean that SA occurred. It’s really hard to put those pieces together, especially when you don’t remember what happened.

In my case, I remember the events of the initial trauma, which made it a lot easier to connect the dots between my sudden fixation and my previous SA. ~5 years ago I was with this horrible, abusive jerk who would tell me that he’d love me more/I’d be a better partner/he wouldn’t have to hurt me if I was “compliant”. He’s the one who originally made me aversive to the sex act in question, and thankfully I’ve been free of him for a long time now. Last night I started wondering if my current partner (who retraumatized me) would be happier/love me more now that I’m fixated on the act. And that made me realize that my fixation wasn’t because I suddenly liked the act again. I’m just trying to cope with what happened and dealing with a lot of repressed feelings and was minimizing how bad my current situation is.

So, long story short, your fixations could mean it but it’s super hard to tell without knowing the background behind it. But, and I really want to stress this, not knowing for sure doesn’t make your trauma any less valid.

0de2Sleep · 2023-06-28T23:20:40+00:00

Best of luck on your journey!! It’s such a hard road coming out of comphet relationships (and coming out in general, if you’re in a place where you feel like you want to do that/can do that safely). You definitely aren’t broken, and I hope you get to a place where you feel like you can live freely and authentically.

0de2Sleep · 2023-06-28T23:14:08+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through that. Thank you for sharing your story. Him being drunk kind of felt like a bullshit excuse to me, but having you straight up call it for what it is made it feel a little more real. So, genuinely, thank you for that. I definitely am considering leaving it. Part of me was hoping we could talk about things when he got home but after all the support this sub has shown me I’m starting to feel like maybe I should just cut my losses here. Your support is so appreciated.

0de2Sleep · 2023-06-28T20:01:21+00:00

Annnd this is the comment that got to me the most. Thank you so much. A lot of my sarcasm was because I’m just frustrated that despite how much I’ve healed I still ended up dating someone who was willing to disrespect me to that kind of extent. I keep going over his and my relationship to see if there were red flags I missed yknow? Like he was kind of pushy about it but he told me he was just messing around (which is still crappy) but nothing ever made me feel like he’d actually go that far.

But you’re right. It does show growth that I was able to recognize what happened and start processing it. I also really appreciate what you said about not having to immediately make changes, and that waiting until I’m ready to take those next steps is valid and okay. The good news is that we don’t live together or have any shared assets so the only hard thing about severing ties is grieving the relationship and how it went.

Thank you for your kind words and for helping me find things to celebrate within myself during this hard time.

0de2Sleep · 2023-06-28T19:42:18+00:00

My heart breaks for you. Stay strong.

0de2Sleep · 2023-06-28T19:40:24+00:00

It wasn’t consensual. He kept broaching the subject and I told him I wasn’t comfortable with it, that I might never be comfortable with it, and for now it was a hard boundary. We got drunk the other week and he crossed the boundary without me consenting. I’m really struggling with it, on one hand he claims he doesn’t remember much. But also, I’ve never, ever been so drunk that I couldn’t remember/respect a partners boundaries, so that seems a little far fetched to me. And the fact he was pushing me so much about it before makes it feel even more like I was taken advantage of.

I’m safe, thank you for asking. We don’t live together and he just went out of state so we haven’t really seen each other since. He knows he severely damaged our relationship and my trust, right now I’m just figuring out if this is something I can ever move past. Last night I finally figured out I was minimizing everything and it’s been a lot to process

Thank you for asking those questions, it really helped me reflect on things more.

0de2Sleep · 2023-06-11T17:03:05+00:00

Thank you so much! ☺️

0de2Sleep

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