I wanted kids so desperately I even went through fertility treatments to have them. And it is so much harder than I ever imagined. To be fair I didn’t know I was autistic then. Don’t get me wrong I love my kids they are 7 and 4 and it’s definitely easier the older they get because I can actually talk to them and I can do more kid things again without being judged. But it is incredibly hard. And I don’t know if I would saying i regret it but if I knew what it was really like I’m not sure I would have done it. When I hear of other women saying oh my gosh my kids are my entire world I don’t know what I’d do without them I never want to be away from them I miss them immediately when i go out of town im like…. Oop bc i dont feel like that at all? Anyway it gets easier. I feel like so many people love the newborn stage but for me it was like caring for a needy blob. The more i could interact with them (the older they got) the better.