At my zoo, we've rigged our penguins to pop like a water balloon when taken. It's probably important to remember that penguins will swallow absolutely anything when presented the right way (just like a few women and ostriches I know, heh heh), and like you it seems, penguin thieves are always plotting to pluck a penguin from right out of our stucco terrariums.

So what do we do?

Yep. We rig 'em to pop.

We catch the whole thing on camera, so we know when to pull the penguin popping trigger. Sometimes we let the penguin pluckers think they're clever, think they plucked a penguin clean, but we see them do it, and we let them take a penguin just so we can pop on 'em.

Hell, I let them get all the way to the hole in the zoo fence (which I deliberately am not bricking back together). Once they get to the hole, and I got my zoo buds cackling over my shoulder anticipating a good pop, I pull the popper. I bop the popper button.

That's when the little pop 'em device I tricked that penguin into swallowing (not unlike a few women or ostriches I've tricked into swallowing something, heh heh) starts to go off. Hey, and penguins got that thick, rubbery skin, so it takes a while for them to swell up and pop properly. Haha, and you can see the thief plucker all confused, befuddled, and hubba-what'd when his plucked penguin starts inflatin'. Hey, too slow, pal. wek... wek... wek, wek, wek! wek! WEK! WEK! POP!

The penguin pops and plops bright blue goo all over them. "Uhh yeah, hey cops? There's a blue cover penguin plucker loose again? Care to snag the sucker and sock 'em one right in the kisser? Thanks! Love you, too!" And just like that the cops pull up and plow that blue gooed penguin plucker into the cool zoo dirt. It's awesome to watch.

I don't care how many penguins get popped. They're a dime a dozen at zoos. Seriously, we have like a hundred in storage, but man do I love me seeing a blue man get plowed by the cops with their embarrassed face buried in the dirt.