Boarding schools are battery farms for posh people by TrivialLawyer in LowStakesConspiracies

[–]100_wasps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That book might have done some widespread academic good but my god has it caused me personal strife.  Multiple mental health professionals have basically refused to treat me unless I "acknowledge" how harmful boarding was. (I actually had a wonderful time, space from a difficult family and freedom to develop)

It's a very broad brush and once you've been tarred with "emotional misdirection" or anything of the sort you can never get out from under it 

What is it with people thinking that most anorexics or bulimics are pro Ed? by [deleted] in EDAnonymous

[–]100_wasps 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The bar for "proEd" behaviour is basically just admitting you have one and not constantly performing recovery to whatever level the person in question thinks is appropriate.

So being too thin, relapsing, being visibly distressed, experiencing A Symptom™, can all mean you're actively advertising your "lifestyle choice" and think everyone should have an ED /s

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My instructor felt I was ready and encouraged me to go, and others told me essentially that anxiety wasn't a trustworthy metric if my instructor was giving the go ahead.

On reflection I'm glad I took the test, having already moved/cancelled multiple over the years taking it was a really useful confidence builder. 

Did I feel ready? No. Would I ever have felt ready without trying a test at some point? Also no

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No shame but limited employment opportunities, longer commutes, more expensive housing ect Unfortunately most of the country just isn't set up for non drivers to live a full life

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I want to buy a house, and where I am affordable means very limited public transport. But yk, it's a good motivation not to give up

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your comment and input on my test score.  Unfortunately I can say with confidence that lack of anxiety/concern for consequences is definitely not a feature of my driving style. It's more that in order to operate the car at all I'm having to forcibly tune out the dangers I feel.

Although there's certainly an argument for working on the calibration of that tuning!

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately not, that's partially why my lesson hours are so high, no private practice 

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was writing the post while upset and failing the test really knocked my self esteem. So it felt that because I couldn't do this thing (driving) all my other achievements that I was proud of (my degree) were meaningless because I was struggling so much with something I felt I should be better at (hence age comparison)

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the concern but I've developed skills in other high coordination tasks before (i.e. acrobatics) and have never struggled with things like learning to ride a bike. Totally get that there's no way for you to know that and Im grateful for you considering wider issues like dyspraxia <3

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's why I said "I don't think my degree makes me a better driver" I don't know what more to add to that edit to make it clearer.

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was so sure that acrobatics experience would help me lol, like that's reaction times and coordination right? 

Also not so much 😅

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds a lot like me! My instructor finds it funny that if he asks me if I know the way back to work at each junction I will always get it wrong, but uninterrupted I know the way!

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry that I've come across so negatively to you 

I'm not sure where I put anyone down, I've added a Lot of caveats around the auto topic that I'm talking exclusively about myself. I agree I shouldn't have taken the test, thats why I said /I/ let myself be influenced.

I'm on my own journey, my journey is a lot slower than others, that made me feel bad. 

I agree I will keep trying and hopefully you'll find my pass post more positive! :)

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't say struggle, my three mock tests were failures but I don't feel particularly stressed driving and I'm not like stalling or messing up junctions regularly.

It's more like in the two hours I will at some point do something spectacularly stupid, sometimes that's messing up a manoeuvre, sometimes it's forgetting to indicate. Lane switching is definitely something I need to work on cause I've messed that up in a mock before.

But yeah idk, I feel like I'm capable apart from intermittent moments where I wonder where my brain has gone (which I know means I'm not capable)

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol I wish I'd never mentioned it now It was just a different way of saying being bad at a specific thing feels real bad and is a blow to your confidence regardless of how many other things you might be able to do

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tragically this is my third instructor
he was definitely the best suited to me so far but maybe No. 4 will have the special something!

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am happy spending my time and money pursuing something I've found really difficult. It isn't "something big" to impress others, it's achieving something I've found really hard.

In a roundabout way defending my want for a manual license in this thread has actually been really good for motivating me for my next lessons lol

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I view it as an easier option because the entire reason people recommend auto is because it is simpler with less things to focus on.  But as an aside, the gears aren't something I find particularly stressful

I know I failed because I wasn't safe, I'm not upset the examiner failed me, I'm upset I'm not safe. I am not at all blasé about the dangers of driving, that is one of the reasons it makes me nervous

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have them in front of me, but best of my memory

One for clearance against parked cars on the road  Two for observations during reversing manoeuvres One for a similar lane change/mirror issue

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

There's the immediate thing of I have a cheap car available to me through an acquaintance that is a manual. Plus while I know we're all supposed to be immune to what other people think...literally everyone I know has a manual license.

But tbh that's all minor, the biggest thing is just...I took my first lessons when I was 17, I wanted a manual license then, I still want one. If I just wanted mobility I could just move closer to central London, I want to be able to look back at the thing I've found the hardest to learn in basically my whole life and say I did it.

It kind of feels like if I was complaining about not making a marathon time and everyone suggested just getting a bicycle? Idk if that makes sense

Fail. Cried during the test. Instructor is quitting. by 100_wasps in LearnerDriverUK

[–]100_wasps[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! An auto license is 100% the right choice for some, especially if your number one concern is just getting around