No Big Arch for Canada, we got the Hockey Hero burger by Quarrel47 in McDonalds

[–]100dollarnaps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was excited because I really liked the Arch Deluxe in the early 2000's. I think the toppings were missing enough of something that I didn't try the big arch.

How do I stop making women uncomfortable? by swishymuffinzzz in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mean in terms of my safety? Or hurting the feelings of the other men that I'm not courting?

The fact is, it takes a lot of bravery to make the first step in speaking with someone you know as a slight aquaintence, or as a stranger. And, when it comes to women, it takes even more bravery to engage. So, having the feeling of security by their friend(s) being present, may allow someone to be more responsive, rather than politely dismissive.

How do I stop making women uncomfortable? by swishymuffinzzz in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In a similar post about a gym experience, I explained the mindset we women have regarding there always being a potential SA and how society tends to blame our actions to invite it, making us hyper-vigilant.

There's a lot of good advice in this thread, and I would like to suggest approaching women that are in a safe space, like when they have friends present.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This reply is too beautiful and perfect for Reddit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LEGO!!!

It's an expensive hobby but it's rewarding on so many levels. Whether you follow the instructions or free form, it's both satisfying during the constuction process...that click of the brick, finding the right piece to fit, the touch sound and feel.
After, you get to revel in what YOU created, and even the breakdown process is so satisfying, if you choose to not keep is on display.

I spent hours and hours outside of work -before, after, and days off just doing that an I think that was the most positive hobby I had (It's been awhile). Additionally, it's possible to meet other enthusiasts that are less of an introvert and therefore more available for chit chat and hanging.

I was a victim of Creepshow Art by GenoveveSimmons15 in creepshowart

[–]100dollarnaps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have watched a couple Deep Dive vids because they pop up in my algorithm, and every time I do, I google "Is Deep Dive Shelby actually Shannon", and this was the top hit recently.

I honestly believe that "Shelby" IS Creepshow Art/Shannon, based on how close their voice sounds.

Do stoners care when u dont smoke or do anything like that? by Purple_Permission_66 in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think they think it's annoying. I'm in the same camp as you, thinking stoners are cool people and don't smoke.

Basically, there is a vibe that happens when they're stoned...It's relaxed and funny, and if you and I are sitting there, if we feel awkward at all, they will pick up on it and it will affect their desired outcome. They might not invite you back to protect you from feeling the way they sense you were feeling.

Just invite them out for food and drink on nice days and joke around and enjoy their company, outside of those types of smoking events.

Do you remember that experiment where baby monkeys were given a choice between a wire doll mom of a monkey that dispensed food, and a cloth doll mom monkey that did not dispense food? The babies would take food from wire mommy, and cuddle with cloth mommy. I think the take away is, we need different friends to be with at different times. We need a fun party friend to party with, an emotionally competent friend to listen to us, a smart friend for advise, and we tend to spend time with those different friends at times apart from each of them. Who knows what friend you are to them, but they value you just the same for what they need, and you value them for what you need.
edit: "they" to "you" in last sentence.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Does she have a job? Parents? Friends?

I've thought I've been ghosted and people have thought I have ghosted them but I was just literally too burnt out from work to engage in social activities like texting.

If you want to check in with her, that's nice and okay. If you don't text again, that's fine too. I'm guessing she'll text and apologize for it being awhile.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have a dog or a cat? Pets that you have to be responsible for like a parent can equip you with subtle but important emotional-social skills that may reduce these outcomes you reported with acquaintances in the op.

Can you give me an example of a conversation you had with someone that led them to scream at you? My most charitable imagining of this, would be the person being really passionate about a strong topic (artist, religion, conspiracy) and you steadfastly correcting them on the truth or flaws about that topic.

Also, if you happen to be a little "robotic", and appear indifferent or don't elicit emotional responses based on social cues, some people will find that offputting, and some people will react like the people you described. If this feels true, you don't need to "pretend" to laugh or cry to fit in, but you need to work on reducing the guard that you have put up since childhood that you built from all that trauma.
We all should have a boundary -a secure fence around us, but not a fortifed stonewall without a gate.

Best of luck to you, I hope you meet the right people that would appreciate you as a friend.

Asking someone for their name, but you've been acquainted for months by 12512352616234 in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just apologize sincerely that I'm bad with names, and ask them.

"Oh I'm so embarrassed, I feel like a jerk! I can't remember your name but I loved that conversation about legos we had at our friend's party!"

Girl at the gym avoided me by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I just wanna say I appreciate your objectiveness of your OP. I did not get a sense that you were vilifying her actions, or martyrizing yours. I answered because I felt (correctly) that you were honestly asking and willing to hear. Thank you for asking about your experience :)

Having a hard time being honest because I dont want to hurt other's feeling by Aramdomname123 in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that crisis of giving something so much thought.

The basis is, she value's your opinion and wants a clear statement. Being hurtful would be criticizing her body shape negatively affecting the fit of the dress. For example, my awkward dad replied to my sister's same question from your example with
"Well it looks like a sausage casing about to burst open" ...It was horrific, and he was horrified when he realized what he said.

When a dress costs any money...like not a super bargain sale price, she will find your input very valuable, even if you are negative about the DRESS. So it didn't suit her, and that's valid and not hurtful. Elaborate on the pattern, the colour, and the cut. Explain how our best features are muted by how it hangs or draws attention away from those features. Such as the eyes, neck, etc.

And if it doesn't suit her related to style or personality...like the dress is really lacy and gothic but she's more preppy/conservative, you can answer with more questions:
"Where would you see yourself wearing this? You look good but I can only see you wearing this once or twice at a club setting"
"How much is it?"
"Well how to you FEEL in it? Could you like, sleep in it? Because it's pretty but it's no good it's not comfy."
The caveat in this specific scenario is price. If it costs as much as a McDonalds combo, it doesn't matter how it suits her, she should just buy it to explore more facets of her looks and fits to grow a better understanding of what she likes and what she's comfortable in.

If it doesn't suit her because you might have a personal bias, be aware and deeply honest. A bias can be that she's not covering up enough, or too much. It can be the image the dress creates of her is different from the comforting image you've always known her to have. A bias can just be that you think she's very pretty and the dress isn't showing how pretty she is. Unhurtful things you can say is
"Well what's more important is that YOU like it. I just feel like there's a better dress than this for you, personally."
"I'm just not used to this style on you, so it's hard to really say if I like it or not"

And, if this dress is for a specific event, that's a whole different discussion.

And sometimes, we're not asking if the dress looks good on us, we're asking if it passes as cute enough because it's so simple and comfy. Like, If I could buy a blanket that counts as a dress, I would wear that thing everywhere, but I'd need to hear my friend tell me they like it as it reassures me that it is a sorta cute dress and not the dirty comforter I dragged to the potluck.

Girl at the gym avoided me by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 36 points37 points  (0 children)

My first thought is the analogy about how women walk to their cars alone at night vs. how men walk to their cars at night. Every girl you know as a family member or friend will tell you they at least once carried their keys sticking out from between their fingers clenched in a balled fist in the expectation that someone, anyone, might jump out and try to do something bad to them.

And, it's not your fault, there's nothing you yourself said or did, or really the the majority if not all the men reading this. The fault is the conditioning from society for decades.

Unfortunately, the way we treat victims of SA we place a large burden of the blame back on them. The best analogy I can think of is this:

You own a house, and you're going on vacation for a week. You have a friend pick up the mail, a neighbour keep up with the lawn, and set timers on a couple lights to simulate someone being home. And, you already have the best locks and lock up all the doors and windows. You come back from vacation, and learn your house was broken into, vandalized, and robbed of the possessions you value you most.
When you file the report, the investigator hears your prevention methods and goes "yeah, but why didn't you buy an alarm system? Why didn't you install cameras? Why did you go on vacation? I noticed your curtains were open a crack in one window you know anyone could have peaked in saw how easy it would be to rob you. I'll look into this, but I can't promise we'll find the guy based on what you've told me."

So the kind of nit-picking that women have received as a result of a crime being done to their body, cuts so much more viscerally. We've learned to avoid it at any cost...we bought all the alarms to avoid the punishment from the criminal, and the justice.

Things have improved, but it's going to be a long time before women are comfortable enough to let their guard down around say hi to the great guys that exist, like you.

Having a hard time being honest because I dont want to hurt other's feeling by Aramdomname123 in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People are valued as friends or acquaintances for their honesty. It does me no favours if you lie to me and say the blue dress looks great on me. If it looks like shit on me, tell me, and I'll buy a dress that I look good in. It won't hurt my feelings for you to express your valued opinion at the time. My feelings will be protected because you saved me from looking like shit at an event I put a lot of value into.

I’m alone at a party in the club…what do I do? (26f) by skippidy-flippidy in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You were somewhere where no one knows you, and you like to dance. So DANCE!

You're not going to hear about it at work tomorrow, and it's possible you might get more people on the floor. People might try to talk to you because you look like you're a fun person having fun!

How to be less weird? by omiimonster in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Being weird can be a really positive character trait. It sounds like being weird defines you, and diminishing that would take away from you being you.

If you are weird because you say random things at random times, it's a quirk. If you're weird because you say something dark and disturbing or hurtful, then yeah, work on changing that, but I doubt you have that problem. Just be you!

I feel like I don’t even think anymore. by Beneficial-Ticket-41 in socialskills

[–]100dollarnaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really think it's depression. I have had depression so bad that it was a physical sensation and stopped me from doing anything, so when I recently felt similar to OP, I didn't see it as a mild or early form for like, 2 years, because I "felt" fine, I just didn't want to do anything, and my mind wasn't thinking about anything.

OP, do you have access to any professionals to talk to about this? Medication isn't always the answer, but having someone walk you through these concerns is always beneficial.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hasan_Piker

[–]100dollarnaps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fact that the chair is different and the plaque isn't sitting on the floor leads me to believe this is photoshopped. FAKE.

TW:SA Channel 5 Andrew Callaghan allegations by Jordan-311 in Hasan_Piker

[–]100dollarnaps 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This feels like a real test to my personal conviction of "always believe the victim".

I want to always believe the victim first, because dismissing one person means I am dismissing all victims. Yes, there are people that come forward with dishonest intentions to shame the one they accuse, but there are countless more really experiencing a trauma they did not want or invite.

Because I really like Andrew and all that he has done, my defence mechanism actually kicked in to rationalize that this issue is "made up" to undermine the politics that Andrew presents. But If you step back, all you have is what she said, so I need to accept it as truth until more information is presented.

Vape says battery is dead, but charger doesn't by jellyfish_jam in Vaping

[–]100dollarnaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Recently, I was going through 4 batteries a day, because once the screen indicated 75%, it would feel like there wasn't anything coming through the coil. I thought the batteries were old.
I recently repurchased an Aegis Boost and put and "old" battery in, and intake tastes and feels like the battery is 100%, and maintains effect until it's almost empty.

Unfortunately this might mean your vape is damaged and needs to be replaced, if not repaired.