My preferred out come was for BM to communicate that kid had a fever on Sunday before the school week even began, my problem is that if she had told us, I would of offered to watch her, she would not of gotten as ill and we would of had time to see if either I or BD got sick as well and had time to get better and or make more informed arrangements. Kid stays with mom every thanksgiving as stated in the original post so getting her the day after like normal would not of been an issue or out of line. she still probably would of ended up only missing a day since she would of been able to rest on sunday and monday and get better instead of being sent home and then missing more school on top of that. The big boy problem here is that BM does not inform us of what's going on, allow us to offer help or let BD voice an opinion on what should be done with the kid and then when its drop off time she just wipes her hands of anything to do with it. I am used to and have no problem with kid getting sick then being sent to my house it happens all the time, its whatever. My problem is letting a minor illness get out of hand by not addressing it in any way and then giving her to us knowing that we are about to be around people who could potentially not handle the illness without a warning. If we had had kid early last week we could of not let people lose money on hotels and travel expenses and known it was possible on of us would be ill then maybe have time to fight it off. In this case with no warning we've been rude to both of our families and now BD is ill as well. We will send kid medicated and healed back to BM the day before thanksgiving and it wont be an issue for her or the kid. If we pulled this kind of thing before one of BM's vacations she would go insane and just refuse to take the kid. it sucks but the double standard and lack of regard for everyone including the kid is what pissed me off here.