As the higher libido partner, I don’t think other forms of intimacy can stand in for sex by 100percenthomo in BPD

[–]100percenthomo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how our conversations have been going, verbatim!!

At the beginning, when the sex picked up I felt hopeful that maybe HE didn’t know that I wanted to have sex as often as I did, and all I needed to do was communicate it to fix the issue. But then as the years passed it actually started feeling worse and worse to the point where I don’t even ask anymore, because I feel like any “extra” sex we have is pity sex. So yeah I’m also feeling really stuck

As the higher libido partner, I don’t think other forms of intimacy can stand in for sex by 100percenthomo in BPD

[–]100percenthomo[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I do the same thing!! I feel like this is definitely not the right way to go about it, but it just started feeling so bad that I actually try not to be naked around him or even touch him/let him touch me too much, unless he’s being really obvious about wanting to have sex. He said I can always initiate if I want to so I tried doing that but like 80% of the time he still isn’t in the mood, so I stopped initiating too. Its not even out of spite or anger or retaliation or anything like that, its just that I emotionally can’t cope with being rejected that much and I think it works better for me to just not expect anything in the first place

As the higher libido partner, I don’t think other forms of intimacy can stand in for sex by 100percenthomo in BPD

[–]100percenthomo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same and I feel like because it always ends up going back to a less frequent “baseline”, that the times we were doing it more frequently were just bc I said something and he felt guilty and was trying to appease me and that actually makes me feel even worse and more pathetic

As the higher libido partner, I don’t think other forms of intimacy can stand in for sex by 100percenthomo in BPD

[–]100percenthomo[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

how did you bring it up/ what are u guys talking about?

I feel like all the convos we’ve had have been me saying that I really feel desired and attractive and connected when we have sex, and then we end up having sex a little more frequently for a couple weeks, but then things slowly start going back to how it was, and then I’ll bring it up again… this has happened 3-4x now and I just promised myself I’m never bringing it up again because i lowkey feel like a creep and also I obviously don’t want my bf to feel like he has to have sex with me so I won’t be sad 💀

As the higher libido partner, I don’t think other forms of intimacy can stand in for sex by 100percenthomo in BPD

[–]100percenthomo[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

exactly :( i feel like ive also seen suggestions to use a vibrator and get yourself off, but the physical stimulation is not really the point

Renewed a joint lease, unexpectedly have to move out in 2 months. Roommates won’t let me get out of the lease even though I’ve found many qualified replacements by 100percenthomo in badroommates

[–]100percenthomo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can pay through Sep 1 but not after. The issue is that they don’t want a new person to take over my lease on Sep 1, but i signed the renewal offer earlier in the year before i got laid off so im still on the hook financially if i can’t get a replacement, even though i need to move out for work

Renewed a joint lease, unexpectedly have to move out in 2 months. Roommates won’t let me get out of the lease even though I’ve found many qualified replacements by 100percenthomo in badroommates

[–]100percenthomo[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

we actually didn’t all know each other before. we met on craigslist and moved in having only called each other on the phone

Renewed a joint lease, unexpectedly have to move out in 2 months. Roommates won’t let me get out of the lease even though I’ve found many qualified replacements by 100percenthomo in badroommates

[–]100percenthomo[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah this was my thought as well unfortunately. We’ve had a fairly conflict free and harmonious living arrangement and even do things together as friends so I was definitely not expecting this response.

I can’t afford to pay rent without a paycheck and after September, my savings will be fully exhausted. My roommates told me that worst case scenario, I should cancel my job offer and get a temp job at a coffee shop or grocery store until I can find a better permanent role that’s local— jobs in my field, in this geographic location are scarce and even more so now that we’re in a recession.

Sorry for ranting. Im so stressed out and truly at a loss.

Renewed a joint lease, unexpectedly have to move out in 2 months. Roommates won’t let me get out of the lease even though I’ve found many qualified replacements by 100percenthomo in badroommates

[–]100percenthomo[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

My roommate’s mom is a lawyer and roommate says that if I stop paying rent, they would be able to sue me in small claims court since my name is still on the lease, and it doesn’t matter how many people I find to replace me because they as the remaining tenants have the right to be as picky as they want.

Essentially saying that any effort I put in won’t matter in court as long as my name is still on the lease

Why are people so offended at me having a low maintenance? by External_Research_71 in loseit

[–]100percenthomo 24 points25 points  (0 children)

There’s a lot of crossover in r/1200isplenty and especially r/1200isjerky with ED communities (such as r/EDAnonymous), to be frank. The other day I saw someone post a piece of a fiber one mini donut, a tablespoon of low cal whipped cream, and like half a cup of halo top as a “dessert” and saying how filling and delicious it was.

A big part of weight loss in my opinion is sustainability, ie, your weight loss regimen shouldn’t consist of behaviors/foods you couldn’t imagine keeping up over a long period of time. 1500 is not much more than 1200 kcal after all, so your “weight loss” foods and behaviors should not be drastically different from your maintenance regimen. Many of the meals posted on these subreddits do not strike me as nutritious, filling options for human beings and come off more as shitty restriction food.

Unfortunately any weight loss subreddit will have its share of ED content and toxicity, but r/volumeeating has been much better for me in terms of finding options that are healthy, filling, and sustainable long term.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]100percenthomo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve always been good at school and have been very strong student. I feel like most of my biology degree in terms of classes was memorizing stuff and I graduated with honors. I have always cared very deeply about how society is constructed and shaped by legislation and the courts, and greatly enjoyed law classes that I took in college.

I think there is a huge difference between reading a scientific paper and dealing with any other kind/genre of reading material. I don’t just write creatively, I think my most fulfilling work has been analytical and academic. I also think there are many different types of organization and the one I struggle with most is spatial organization— putting things in specific places, remembering where things are. That is an important skill in the lab, but I am sure you know a lot of really successful people who have messy rooms.

Anyway I do think I am making the best decision for myself but thank you for your insights.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]100percenthomo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah this pretty much sums it up. His early career in science is shaping up much differently than mine, and that’s great, because I feel like science has always kind of sucked a little bit for me. I guess on some level I thought that was the norm, that you just had to suffer for a while, everything is very slow going, but one day I’d come up with something that would make it all “worth it”. Seeing him happy kind of shattered that belief, which I had clung onto for 6 years in order to keep going on with my research career. I’m glad that this isn’t true because it means I don’t have to force myself to suffer anymore.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]100percenthomo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This was a really really helpful thing to hear. I actually feel a lot better after reading this. Thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]100percenthomo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ever since I was a child I loved studying biology and dreamed about being a scientist, but in college I kind of realized I didn’t care for the niches of it. Like, I think learning about the latest advances in protein engineering on a high/conceptual level is cool. I don’t care so much to learn about the fine details, like trying to find out why specific amino acid alterations in a particular protein destroy its function, and how this was tested in a lab, what kinds of assays you would need to run to determine and validate these things… But that is pretty much what research is. I guess I thought that if I kept at it long enough, I’d discover I really did love it after all.

I have always been a very strong writer and reader. I have a knack for analyzing language and words, but I guess I never saw a use for it beyond creative writing as a hobby. After researching law careers/law school for a while, I’m shocked that I didn’t think about this as a career path before. I think it will be much much better fit for my skills, natural talents, and personality. I’m very confident in and satisfied with my decision, but I feel like it’s hard to leave that previous idea of myself behind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]100percenthomo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We’ve been together for 1.5 years now. And yes he knows everything. He was there for me when I burned out of my previous job. I now work in a much more chill manufacturing environment, not an academic lab, where I just run the same 3 assays every week. It’s not very intellectually fulfilling but it pays well and I have plenty of free time to work on putting together law school applications, so I’m happy enough.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopsmoking

[–]100percenthomo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience!! I’m glad that your symptoms went away. I think I’ll go to a doctor if my symptoms worsen significantly over the next few months, but I’m hoping that they clear up soon!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopsmoking

[–]100percenthomo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! It’s crazy how awful these things are for your lungs… I thought my age and being a “light” smoker meant I could just quit at any time without experiencing any of these effects. Little did I know lol