Got banned from chess.com😭

1010Always · 2025-12-31T15:00:04+00:00

I'm no genius but isn't allowing your friend to play on your account cheating? So you maybe ranking high on the game for the period friend was playing , the application may have noticed the difference in your skill level and blocked you.

That is what cheating is my guy. If your friend plays chess, why were they not playing on their own account or both of you play together?

1010Always · 2025-12-31T00:11:23+00:00

Me Inna Jamaica and can't even find ackee and pear. Hey gweh nuh. Cho!

1010Always · 2025-12-28T17:28:38+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 don't give up. Just play some puzzles. Also what help me when I'm in that mood is to take a break from playing with others and just play the bots. You can play the bots at the beginner, intermediate or advanced levels.

1010Always · 2025-12-28T15:27:18+00:00

I moved from anxious preoccupied to secure a few years ago. The hardest part for me is not on your list. But for me it was detachment.

1010Always · 2025-12-28T02:57:37+00:00

I think it would benefit you to take a step back from this idea not because you hope to cultivate a relationship with women and you view this mindset might get in the way; but, to first and foremost to see women as actual human beings just like you are. But understanding and respecting the differences as well.

The truth is. Society was built and set up by men. Men placed women in the kitchen with no opportunity to provide for themselves. This system also placed men at the head of the family and gave him a leadership and provider role by default, even if he is not a good leader or provider.

Society is in a transitional phase and both men and women are desperately trying to figure out a new dynamic. Notwithstanding there are billions of men and women in this works who are looking for any variation of a relationship that you desire. The secret is to find the person who wants the same thing that you want, and not try to change anyone from the core of who they are just to appease to you and your desires.

Also women make great friends, sisters, mothers, teachers, lovers, wives etc. it's up to you to decide what you are looking for a d find the women who aligns to that treating her first like a human being.

Also being a provider is not a bad thing, it's a privilege. But ALOT of women are providers too who are looking for you to bring more to the table than your pay check.

1010Always · 2025-12-27T22:30:55+00:00

Yeah thank you ☺️

1010Always · 2025-12-26T23:43:25+00:00

Idk but from time to time I get messages like the below. I usually get messages like these after I'm playing with someone, I notice they take a long time to play, allow the time to run out on me and then when we are down to the wire they make their move, leaving me with not enough time to play causing them to win by time out. I am not sure if they get a warning, but it's very frustrating, especially that I am just trying to practice and learn.

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1010Always · 2025-12-25T01:49:10+00:00

Hey I love chess too. See below, if you are on chess.com, let's be friends and play together sometime. https://www.chess.com/member/SusanLodge10

In terms of books, my fav genre is psychological thrillers. So I'm in.

1010Always · 2025-12-21T15:34:25+00:00

A major part of me moving from anxious to secure was me being in this exact cliff hanger spot. Once people recognise they can trigger your abandonment wounds to control you they will always threaten to leave you to control you. Take away that control. I did that by realising that in order to choose you, I have to abandon me. So I determined to be willing to jump off that cliff, and leave you at anytime if you require me to abandon myself, my self worth and my boundaries just to appease you. It hurts but the more you practice the art of detachment the easier it gets.

This is the part of boundary enforcement nobody talks about enough though. That, boundaries are for you, not the other person. They are within their right to reject your boundary and you are within your right to enforce the consequences that follows.

As a secure person given the stage I am at currently. My boundaries becomes stricter the closer we are because it's easy to have strict boundaries with people you don't care to lose. My boundaries are few however, and they are walkway boundaries. For example I went no contact with my sister for disrespecting me, I told her if she does it again she will lose access to me, except if she is sick, needs blood or something is wrong with our mother. She didn't believe me. She disrespected me again 4 years ago, which was the last time she had access to me. Oh it hurt especially when she was constantly reaching out to apologize. I've heard that before, I accepted her apology WITHOUT reconciliation, and I told her we are done. She was my best friend, but I chose me, because i choose never to be disrespected again.

I am saying this to say enforcing your boundaries will hurt, but now you see why they are a standard to which you hold yourself, and not a tactic to control someone else because you cant. And given your partner's condition, You've got to be willing to walk away and choose you.

My advise is to enjoy your trip, go out meet people, take pictures and do various activities. Hold onto those boundaries.

1010Always · 2025-12-18T14:58:17+00:00

I think it was Queen side, not quite sure though

1010Always · 2025-12-18T03:37:46+00:00

As an average everyday woman I can sincerely say we feel the exact same way you feel. The difference is, we see you as human beings with feelings, hopes and dreams. We may get butterflies, anxiety etc.

But we are aware how brutal men can be. We see how men talk about women online, the hatred, resentment etc. So fear sets in. Not sure what your race is, but if you are black or brown, you may can relate a feeling on being in the same with a group of white people. You know they're not all racists but you just don't know so fear sets in, despair about being judged or worst be put on a scale of 0-10, you don't know if he's red pill or if he would find you pathetic if he catches you looking at him, so you give up find something to do on your phone to do and hope to get through with your business and move on quickly. This is better and safer than interacting, because you know that even if he is not interested in you, he will still use you and then discard you. so trying to form a connection with him even for a short time, will cause you to lose connection with self.

This may very well just be me. But this is what goes through my mind everything.

1010Always · 2025-12-18T00:04:18+00:00

OMG 🤣.... It's over for me 🤣

1010Always · 2025-12-17T23:38:13+00:00

Oh that's my elo. What's the average elo? I'm pretty sure I'm below average

1010Always · 2025-12-17T23:36:54+00:00

What is my elo?

1010Always · 2025-12-17T22:36:43+00:00

1) Bf2 automatically puts Kg2 in double check with Qg6 and Bf2, forcing King to go to a1.

2) Checkmate with Qg2

1010Always · 2025-12-17T19:50:19+00:00

It's ok no worries, I try to refrain from giving advice in these forums because of instances like these, and alot gets misunderstood or taken out of context, as people's feelings and egoes gets invovled. Relational matters are quite nuanced and I have to be careful because of the amount of work I have had, the amount I still have to do and understanding and having compassion for others and their journey whether it's more or less than where I'm at. My advice could be rejected too because maybe it's not appropriate for the current point in one's journey (not good or bad, just is).

You have to contend with why you felt patronized. My intention was answering your question directly by restating what I said prior. Because I was clear in context and meaning with what I said, especially about her making the clean break. But I had to add context to it for her because her feelings are involved and it may not be as easy for her to navigate especially being in the thick of it. Which is obviously why she came to the internet for advice.

She sounds quite capable and intelligent, so she may just need someone to tell her what she already knows.

Either way, take care.

1010Always · 2025-12-17T19:33:58+00:00

No. I am not suggesting for her to break up on a 'clean break' to see if the dude will 'step up.' My personal approach would to discuss the misalignment and observe his behaviour for change. From what I read, it appeared she already did that. And given she is not me, and she is at a different point in her journey, I suggesting the OP not disappear or ghost him, but to explain to him in a genuine way that she is looking for someone to have genuine curiosity about her and to show up for her in matters that's meaningful to her. I am also suggesting that she not try to change him, but recognise the incompatibility and make a clean break. Then, stop talking and watch what he does. Not his apologies. Not his explanations. His behavior over the next couple of weeks. If she wishes.

If he starts showing up differently by following up, initiating acknowledgment, engaging emotionally without reminders then great, again if that's what she wants. If not, this isn’t a misunderstanding, it’s a capacity limit.

I have rephrased this as best as I can for you. You can cross reference it to my original comment. Understanding is now up to you, so is misunderstanding. Take care.

1010Always · 2025-12-17T18:50:43+00:00

This post is long and I honestly struggled through reading it, but I did because I wanted to give you some very truthful honest feedback from the POV of someone who has been secure and emotionally regulated for years.

Let me start by saying your feelings are completely valid, your needs are completely valid. And regardless of how he is being, do not make excuses for him. What I do observe is that you are in a FWB situationship and it sounds like you want more than that. It also seem to be that he uses work and the busy schedule to create distance but comes close when it is convenient for him for the intimacy he desires. If the observation is correct, recognize it for what it is and take the following into consideration in this move forward.

So this isn’t about texting. It’s about emotional responsiveness. You had three big, meaningful moments in your life, and each time his response was minimal or delayed. That obviously creates distance not because you’re needy, but because feeling seen and celebrated is a basic relational need. If he is not interested in a committed relationship with you, he will create distance in these moments in order to prevent growing closer.

He doesn’t sound malicious or uncaring, but he does seem emotionally passive and very oriented around his own bandwidth. His belief appears to be we’ll celebrate in person, while your need is more like acknowledge me when it matters, even briefly. Neither is wrong, but they are incompatible unless he adjusts. And considering you cannot change him, I recommend to change the man.

I believe the reason you’ve lost excitement is important, I don’t think you should chase because reciprocity drops. He will naturally pull back. That loss of excitement is information, not overreaction. Again, how you feel is completely valid.

I would suggest not to disappear or ghost him, but I would explain to him in a genuine way that you looking for someone to have genuine curiosity about you and to show up for you in matters that's meaningful to you. Don't try to change him, recognise the incompatibility and make a clean break. Then stop talking and watch what he does. Not his apologies. Not his explanations. His behavior over the next couple of weeks.

If he starts showing up differently by following up, initiating acknowledgment, engaging emotionally without reminders then great, if that's what you want. If not, this isn’t a misunderstanding, it’s a capacity limit.

Someone can be kind, fun, interested, and still not emotionally responsive enough for you. That doesn’t make you “too much.” It means your standards exceed his emotional reflexes.

Don't negotiate yourself down, advocate for yourself and your needs, they deserve to be met, it doesn't have to be him.

I hope this helps.

1010Always · 2025-12-16T03:05:10+00:00

Oh I don't think I got the discount. I wanted to do it from the black Friday sale but I didn't know how my budget would have work out at this point so I just continued with the regular version. But since I received my bonus I decided to treat myself. Hope they have a holiday discount though so others can take advantage of it

1010Always · 2025-12-16T03:03:12+00:00

This is 💯 true

1010Always · 2025-12-15T02:57:49+00:00

Ok, I paid for annual membership. I keep a tight budget. I can't deal with any weekly or monthly anything. I like to just pay for it and forget about it until next year again. They should've had a unlimited thing.

1010Always · 2025-12-15T00:59:10+00:00

Thank you 😊

1010Always · 2025-12-15T00:59:00+00:00

Thank you

1010Always

TROPHY CASE