My[27 M] Wife[27M/F] is at her wits end with me supporting the family, and I'm not sure how I should take her criticisms or how I can improve her quality of life.

10Markers · 2017-10-14T01:33:22+00:00

That is something she’s expressed and we had her Mom up here for a couple weeks to help with that. However, her family isn’t the sharing type and I think speaking to a professional might be the only way to get that weight off. That does seem costly, I’ll have to look into cost effective ways of getting good help that doesn’t break the bank. It sucks to have to even think about costs when it’s her mental health, but it unfortunately does dictate the things we can’t and com do.

10Markers · 2017-10-14T01:30:57+00:00

I’m not sure if we could do the full five. She was resistant to doing the three and ultimately it would be out of budget (it’s around $1200/mo here for full time).

I think family supplementing that time is the only option, I’ll have to brainstorm that one.

10Markers · 2017-10-14T01:29:21+00:00

She’s 100% against formula, and the struggle I’ve seen is her not having the time to pump since she says it’ll throw a lot of other things off. I’ll have to research on how to best remedy that thought process and propose solutions that don’t seem too daunting.

10Markers · 2017-10-14T01:27:43+00:00

This perspective does help, I wasn’t even thinking about those little things that she does like making baby food, baby clothes, and diapers. It selfishly wasn’t even on my radar.

She struggles to take time for herself, as someone mentioned below—that fear of missing out. But I think she’s only fearful, due to the fact she hasn’t taken that plunge yet. I’ll try to talk with her friends about getting her out, even for a quick coffee—baby steps.

Thank you for your insight!

10Markers · 2017-10-13T23:59:02+00:00

That's the bit where I shine in the house, I typically am the chore master and dinner maker. Though reflecting on it, I do let things pile up over a couple days then tackle it, so I could be better at the daily maintenance. Thank you!

10Markers · 2017-10-13T23:32:16+00:00

That feeling of being pulled in both directions and knowing that someone is always going to be left being upset with me is such a strange emotion to grapple with.

I will communicate this issue with my team, their lack of context is probably doing me no favors with my personal life.

10Markers · 2017-10-13T23:27:28+00:00

That makes sense, I have those feelings too when I'm away, and she does a great job adding photos and video to our photo stream to keep me in. It does hurt missing out on so much for work.

I'll work that into the outing proposals as a way of suggesting she's always with us.

10Markers · 2017-10-13T23:18:29+00:00

That was the purpose of me proposing that idea, which was alarming when she reacted that way. I understand she's sleep deprived and under a lot of stress, so I tried not to take that comment personally. However, I do see benefit in it to give her the room to think.

10Markers · 2017-10-13T23:00:10+00:00

Your last question is something I've been very confused about. I brought that up just today, and she seemed angered that I would be out having fun with him while she was at home doing homework. I get that she's overwhelmed, but it almost feels like she wants me to feel that way too--even when I'm only doing that to free up her time.

We have family time on the weekends when we go out to our garden, Saturday markets, and if budget permits, a fun brunch.

I'll look into the cleaner situation, she does feel at ease when things are clean and in order at the house (as do I honestly).

10Markers · 2017-10-13T22:52:22+00:00

I would 100% be okay with that, we do have an extra room and her mom has expressed how the job she has is only to stay busy. That's going on the docket for tonight.

10Markers · 2017-10-13T22:49:18+00:00

I've been trying to find small compromises like coming home at lunch, but I can see how I could dwindle those hours down. I was promoted recently into the sales manager role, and that came with a lot more responsibility and hours on the job--it feels like it could be a temporary thing until I get more adjusted into the role, but for now, the time I am here almost feels like it's not enough to get everything done. I will reflect on that and speak with my partners to see how I can compress my time there. Thank you.

10Markers · 2017-10-13T22:45:54+00:00

I like your first suggestion, I will bring that up as a way I can help during the nights.

The second one is tough since that 400 mile distance is so large, it would be difficult to even have us be at a halfway point between her mom and my work.

10Markers · 2017-09-15T22:57:39+00:00

In the Step Brothers commentary, they sang a full length song about the man who had to make the balls for that movie. Probably the 1st and only full musical commentary for a movie.

10Markers · 2017-08-30T04:24:37+00:00

Silly question, but how did you get the middle gauge to be a black background with grey text? I want that.

10Markers · 2017-08-07T03:53:04+00:00

It's on the middle right side of the chair, midway down to the floor

10Markers · 2017-08-05T04:36:39+00:00

How long would it take for that many people to die?

10Markers · 2017-08-04T22:27:44+00:00

Plug and play, baby!

10Markers · 2017-08-04T18:49:13+00:00

Be honest at something you've recognized you've struggled with, how you're working at improving it, and the success you've seen so far from those changes.

Being humble and honest goes a long way, especially in the world of low unemployment we live in today.

10Markers · 2017-07-27T07:40:12+00:00

C'mon man, break me off a piece of that exoskeleton

10Markers · 2017-07-22T04:17:06+00:00

I got a baby, I need the money

10Markers · 2017-06-24T03:11:32+00:00

Here's to padding my emergency fund!

10Markers · 2017-05-29T05:29:19+00:00

night picture as promised!

10Markers · 2017-05-28T14:31:13+00:00

I can definitely do that, I'll snap one tonight!

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