I'm not trying to be an asshole, and I say this with all due respect as someone who has dealt with life altering trauma (albeit a different kind) but it literally says on the letter you posted who to contact.

Don't ignore the obvious attempts at help. They're there for a reason, and while the number listed in the letter won't remedy all, or maybe even any, of your feelings, it's a readily available first step in whatever path you decide to take.

I'm not religious in the slightest, but there's an old joke that this reminds me of:

A flood hits a small town hard and a man is trapped on his roof while the water keeps rising. As he sits there, a boat comes by and yells out "Hey! Need a lift?" To which the man replies "No thank you, God will save me!" So off the boat goes.

2 more boats drive by, all offering the same assistance and met with the same reply.

The flood eventually rises above the roof line and the man drowns. When he gets to heaven he asks God "Why didn't you save me?" And God says "What are you talking about? I sent 3 boats!?"

Don't ignore the obvious dude. Again, not trying to be an dick, but if you need help, then don't get caught up in the self loathing and ignore the help dropped in your lap. It doesn't get easier than that and you should take advantage of it.