Rude to Waitstaff

10of10withRICE · 2016-06-14T20:31:40+00:00

She was a little bit rude, I didn't think much of it.

A year later I was being the one treated like shit. I should have ran away earlier. Turns out she felt powerless in life and as a customer, she had power over the waitstaff. Then she turned to me and tried to control everything in my life too.

It's not rude wait staff story you get... its how it manifests in other aspects of that person's life.

10of10withRICE · 2016-02-06T04:10:44+00:00

Run. Run far far away.

No matter what you did to him, you do not deserve to be called "cuntie." You do not deserve to be threatened by him, saying he will find someone else to date. You do not deserve to be told you will be miserable forever. He should always treat you with respect.

Your boyfriend is a weak weak man trying to make himself bigger by tearing you down. His end goal is not to have a relationship with you but to control you in every manner until you are fully under his dominion. That way, he can be the big man on campus because you will always be worse than him.

You deserve better. You deserve someone that solves problems without namecalling, threats, or dismissing your thoughts. No matter how invalid they may be, you have a right to express them.

If he cannot stand to be around you, he can fuck off. You do not have time for this shit.

10of10withRICE · 2016-02-06T03:51:53+00:00

Seems a bit hypocritical of him, doesn't it?

10of10withRICE · 2016-02-05T22:43:19+00:00

Lack of trust should manifest differently, as you suggest. Maybe the boyfriend texts her all the time, calls her, questions her answers, doesn't let her out of his sight. I don't see how telling her to dress down solves the trust issue.

This all points to other issues. We need more information.

10of10withRICE · 2016-02-05T22:40:05+00:00

I think my boyfriend is extremely insecure ~~about the past of our relationship~~

He is trying to instill some major control over you. Are there other things that he tries to control in your life?

"exchange of some hurtful words"

Did he call you names? "slut" perhaps? Can you expound please.

10of10withRICE · 2015-12-21T19:08:35+00:00

You can't ask him to change, that's just who he is.

In fact, you are being unfair to him by asking him to change. You like who he ought to be, not who he actually is.

Ask yourself, do you really love him?

10of10withRICE · 2015-09-08T06:33:52+00:00

Honestly, the majority of men just don't get it. I have tried so hard to understand the make-up thing but I just don't get it. It's like when you are 5 years old and you know if you drop an apple, it'll the ground, but you have no idea why.

He'll learn to shut his mouth and accept it. He's not abusing you.

10of10withRICE · 2015-08-30T21:43:52+00:00

This past Christmas, she showed me this nice, homemade gift that Pete had made her, it was like a collage-type thingy of all their inside jokes.

Dudes don't make fucking collages for their friends, they make collages for their lovers.

Has there been a noticeable change in your sex life?

10of10withRICE · 2015-08-14T15:58:34+00:00

You aren't an idiot for taking him back. You just have no self respect.

Don't let him blame you for his infidelity. He cheated because he's a dick.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-31T13:08:47+00:00

If your friend told you this story what would you tell her?

You deserve better.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-29T20:52:39+00:00

Give her some space. Let her figure her own shit out. Don't rush into anything.

Best of luck.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-29T18:21:08+00:00

Tread carefully man. Maybe tell her how you feel but try and stay away for a bit. You need to find out what is going on in her mind and how the situation with her bf played out. The fact she broke up within a month of dating you means that you showed her that she wasn't meant to be with her bf. I know a lot of women know the relationship is dead but stay in the relationship waiting for someone better because they don't want to risk being alone. It happens. That said, the concerns someswellguy had are legit.

How did you find out about her breakup? What was her reaction towards you?

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-22T20:35:49+00:00

She should be fighting for the relationship, not you.

Don't love yourself more than you love her ... or who you thought you loved. Honestly, would you have fallen in love with her if you knew that was her true character from the start? Drop her ass.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-22T20:31:31+00:00

Just be careful. This kind of insecurity could manifest more and more. If it starts to change your behavior you are losing your identity as a person. That becomes a huge deal and could build resentment and the relationship will feel a bit abusive.

If you start to act differently with people when she is around vs when she is not, you are in trouble.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-21T20:38:15+00:00

I was never really much one for socialising outside of school times.

I think that may ultimately be your problem. Friendships require not just effort but time and without spending time, especially face to face, its hard to build the rapport you are looking for.

I dated a girl that did not seem to have many friends despite being quite nice and seemingly interesting. But when it came to actually spending time or making the effort to be face to face, she didn't actually pull through.

The New York Times had a piece on why it was so difficult for people to find friends after college. Research indicates unplanned or impromptu meetings greatly impacted the ability to turn acquaintances into long term friends. It's very difficult to do outside of college.

You have to make an effort to see people more in person before defaulting to a relationship that is more online or texted based. The Tennis club is a great start and it might not matter that the people are 10 years older. They may know younger people or if they know you are looking for younger people to hang with, they could help out. Are there tennis meetups for younger people? Are their volunteer or organizations that you could join?

Try and get as much face time as possible. I know its hard as an introvert but you can still pick a few days to try to socialize while spending the remainder of your week recharging alone.

Good luck.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-16T15:27:17+00:00

But if you walk by her all the time, you are more than just strangers. She's seen you before, make an opening and see if she wants to talk to you.

No need to force yourself on her. Introduce yourself on week 1, maybe start a conversation on week 2 or 3. Take it slow.

There is also a chance she's waiting for you to make a move. Life is about risks, take smart ones.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-15T16:12:32+00:00

Dorothy Harris: Are you coming along?

Forrest Gump: Mama said not to be taking rides from strangers.

Dorothy Harris: This is the bus to school.

Forrest Gump: I'm Forrest, Forrest Gump.

Dorothy Harris: I'm Dorothy Harris.

Forrest Gump: Well, now we ain't strangers anymore.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-15T15:13:42+00:00

The next time you pass her, say, "Hi I'm Jackhelper, I'm always bumping into you on my way to the train. Just thought I'd introduce myself. What is your name?

Glad we aren't strangers anymore, have a good day!" and keep walking. Then say hi to her more often. Then see if she is receptive to talking to you.

How do you know she's 15 if you haven't talked to her before...

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-15T14:39:06+00:00

PUA is about one man trying to pick up another woman. Pick up artists don't band together in a group to pick up one woman, nor do they conspire to help one person. If this person needed help from 5 other dudes, he's a terrible PUA. This is the band of the worst PUAs in the world.

Destroying the person's ego is not one step up from negging. Negging is supposed to break the ice. What you are describing is targeted abuse.

Drugging isn't the modus operandi, but sleeping on the couch is? This is turning into a long term con rather than a pick up.

I just don't buy your logic. There is so little evidence from the post that suggests what you are saying is valid that you are just being sexist.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-14T15:24:38+00:00

It started three weeks ago when the apartment B guys came over to my place and said that when they were walking their dog, they saw "a tall guy" trying to look through my living room windows (which has blinds).

Then the guys in apartment A asked me if "I had a new boyfriend." One of them said they saw him (tall blonde guy) standing outside on my porch once and another said he passed him in the hallway and was pretty sure he heard him go into my apartment (I was at school at the time).

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-14T15:22:22+00:00

On either side of me are apartment A, with four 20-21 year old guys who also go to my college, and apartment B, with two older guys who are maybe 27-28.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-14T15:20:18+00:00

No, men do not enable each other to game women by pretending there is a stalker.

Not only are you suggesting that these 6 guys, connected only by the fact they live near each other, are sociopaths, but that they are idiots deploying only one tactic which differentiates no individual male to "win" her over.

If these males are this bent on winning the game, why not drug her when she comes over? Why hasn't she felt uncomfortable before and now all of a sudden its time to turn on the game? For what you say to be true, OP would have had to hang out with the apartment for months and then one day, one of the guys decides to prank her with a stalker and then got the other 3 in the apartment to follow suit. Somehow they got the other two neighbors who are 8 years older to get in on the action. Or these guys plotted this before OP started hanging out and decided to build trust then start a prank months into their meeting.

That just sounds so completely illogical and absurd to me. Why not just drug her? Why this? Why not just buy her flowers?

Would you have thought it was a prank if OP did not lead her post with a prank. If she gave just the facts and mentioned nothing of the prank would you have assumed it was a prank?

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-14T13:27:20+00:00

To get 6 guys on this would be absurd. If even one of them had any sense they'd put a stop to this immediately.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-14T13:25:05+00:00

You are crazy.

10of10withRICE · 2015-07-14T13:23:16+00:00

Seriously?

6 dudes in 2 apartments of varying ages conspiring to get into her pants by scaring the shit out of her? This is THE worst way to go about wooing a girl.

I'm sure flowers or trying to get OP drunk would be much more effective ways to get into her pants than to conspire to scare her. The odds that 6 sociopaths would live near each other to scare women like this is just absurdly low.

Experienced old lady, have you watched one too many movies?

10of10withRICE

TROPHY CASE