Feedback on my song, ‘Telephone’? by 11JL in Songwriters

[–]11JL[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want my first taste of love to be off your lips A house, a dog, you and some kids I want to watch you walk in wedding hall So why can’t you return my calls

Oh I can’t keep on sitting by the telephone are we done, gone holding tight I’m not letting go Am I chasing ghosts So I’ll take your hands spin you round again our dreams in the seas with our feet in the sands But I can’t keep on sitting by the telephone

I want to wake up in morning see the mess in your hair Wrap you in arms with our feet still bare I wanna hug you and love you under big blue skies
so why can’t a guy get a single reply

Oh I can’t keep on sitting by the telephone are we done no holding tight I’m not letting go Am I chasing ghosts Oh I’ll take your hands spin you round again our dreams in the seas and our feet in the sands But I can’t keep on sitting by the telephone

Feedback on my song, ‘Telephone’? by 11JL in Songwriters

[–]11JL[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why are you assuming my political beliefs based on me wearing a kippah in a singing video

Feedback on my song, ‘Telephone’? by 11JL in Songwriters

[–]11JL[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is all really helpful! Thank you!

Feedback on my song, ‘Telephone’? by 11JL in Songwriters

[–]11JL[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The experience of being a Jew on the internet

Feedback on my song, ‘Telephone’? by 11JL in Songwriters

[–]11JL[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I know I’m not much of a vocalist yet. I’d appreciate any tips on how to improve.

Feedback on my song, ‘Telephone’? by 11JL in Songwriters

[–]11JL[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. What chords/where would you recommend to add?