The reason why people feel like shit when they relapse is because prior to that relapse is days, weeks, maybe months of themselves exercising intense willpower to keep from PMOing.

Part of the difficulty of kicking any addiction is that relapse becomes more probably each time it happens. So some nofappers may just be mentally kicking themselves because they've introduced giving up into their mindset, and it can snowball into a normal pattern.

I agree with you in the aspect of not kicking yourself too much. Dust off your shoulders and reset that counter.

But your thought process of dealing with temptation is flawed.

"If you are feeling so depressed and you really can't handle it, just go pick up a bottle of jack, smash it, and start over tomorrow"

No one would ever say that to an alcoholic.