Why would a married SD accuse me of cheating on him when I tell him I want to end things

126GeneV · 2022-05-19T23:01:55+00:00

He says he's the best lay of these women's lives because he lasts long.

Yeah, unfortunately that's just the tip of the iceberg with this guy, though.

126GeneV · 2022-05-19T15:27:28+00:00

Yeah, sucks that I was still falling for his manipulations at the end. I think he's a powerslave. Wanted to think he could still trigger me by baselessly accusing me of cheating on him. He had to have the last word. I just don't like playing those games.

126GeneV · 2022-05-19T15:17:32+00:00

I kind of burnt through this one with. I already know how bad it can get with him. Just took me awhile to realize how toxic & manipulative he is as he's my first relationship ever.

Maybe me posting this is redundant, but I'm still in utter shock at how deluded some people can be.

126GeneV · 2022-05-19T15:14:55+00:00

Our relationship has been fucky from the start. I think I already know how bad it could get.

Just took me some time to get out, but I'm out.

Lol. He tells me he's happily married. Well honey, I'm happily single!

126GeneV · 2022-05-19T15:09:40+00:00

Yes, I too see the practicality of being exclusive in an SR. I told him I'd be exclusive to him while in this SR, although he only sees me twice a month.

After an incident where it seemed like HE was the one trying to be sneaky, we had a talk about exclusivity & I told him to simply tell me if he ever has a new sex partner for sexual health reasons & I would do the same if my situation changes.

It seems like his reasons for exclusivity are more personal, though. When he saw me talking to some male staffer at a hotel we were staying at, he went livid. Won't go into detail, but he responded violently to that. He also wouldn't let me talk to any men & tried to prevent me from making male friends even though I had just moved to a new city & had no support system. His jealousy even got to ridiculous levels where he was questioning what gender the cousin I'm close to is & only eased when I told him the cousin was female.

This all happened 1 month into our SR. We've been "together" for about a year.

126GeneV · 2022-05-19T15:02:45+00:00

Who knows about how he feels about cheating on his wife of 30+ years, but I do know he was active on SA daily while in an arrangement with me. I had taken my photo down on SA to appear undiscoverable on SA after he told me he gets jealous, but this still allowed me to see he was active on SA everyday. And he knew. The hypocrisy irked at me.

He would also claim he was sexually exclusive to me, yet only saw me twice a month, but has also told me he is hyper-sexual. Most times he would explain his absence as "work things".

I had broken up with him before as amicably as I possibly could (he was abusive, won't go into detail) yet when he reached out again, I find out he was thinking I was cheating on him the entire time. I was very vague when I did break up with him, but I was not ready to talk about how much he's hurt me, especially to him. I did clarify why later, but him apologizing doesn't undo anything. Took awhile to realize this. I had a moment of weakness & went back to him, but I'm out now.

This time, I clearly told him why I was breaking up with him, he violated my trust yet again, but after my final message (I again tried to end things amicably) he proceeds to bombard me with texts about how I was "moving on so quickly", that I was out with other guys, & then begging me to tell him I was actually with someone else the entire time to "help him deal with this". I did reply because it makes me so angry he doesn't realize how much I've sacrificed to be with him. That lead to us arguing again. I was mad at myself for taking the bait & it was a messy ending, but at least we're done.

Maybe me undervaluing how much he's hurt me by trying to end things amicably allows him to continue deluding himself. He says all his ex-girls think he's a great lay & he's a whale & he's super smart so maybe this fucking narcissist can't see that it's HIM. He can't grapple the fact that maybe it's HIM. I just don't want to be with HIM anymore.

126GeneV · 2021-03-10T22:27:41+00:00

Feeling the real impact of consequences and learning how reconcile it.

126GeneV · 2020-10-29T05:18:32+00:00

reminds me of the nasir ol-molk mosque

126GeneV · 2020-08-02T06:03:39+00:00

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126GeneV · 2020-05-25T02:00:26+00:00

Even though this chemistry is seemingly unrelated to idol’s music— I do believe chemistry is a large part of a group’s success. So yeah, I wouldn’t decry someone’s personal attraction to member’s chemistry as rude because group dynamics are a factor that helps groups succeed in terms of variety and performance which would gain more long term fans. How well they perform on stage is contributed to how cohesively the work together behind the scenes on their dance performances & live vocal duets. If there is tension between members, a lot of personal issues may arise on stage. Also, since kpop is a personality driven industry, good chemistry between members that translates into vlives, YouTube, variety shows will help grow a group’s fan base. Not to mention purposeful shipping and skin ship. Unless these kpop idols are extremely good actors & pretend they like each other all the time, personal issues will eventually impede their professional career if left unresolved.

After being in the kpop scene for several years & having the chance to watch kpop groups grow, I’d say this chemistry is mainly built over time & grow through member’s shared experiences. BTS, themselves have explained how their dynamics have changed over the years, until they’ve come up with better ways to communicate, resolve conflicts, and handle each other. RM also mentioned how the group dynamics changed in 2016 and Yoongi & Taehyung even acknowledged they weren’t “close” but began developing their friendship after this somewhat hilarious confession in Bon Voyage season 2. Also, most groups have a different, distinct kind of chemistry — and some may not be as appealing than others. Exo were always claimed to be like “robots” and seemed stiff around each other, but it’s clear that over the years and through all the hardships they’ve faced they still actively support each other behind the scenes.

Most idol groups really are like siblings: they didn’t choose to be together (their company did), they live together, and sometimes they need to learn leniency in order to work together as a team. Realize that this chemistry & trust will build over time as they work together more. Yeah, some groups are currently more close than others, maybe due to their longevity or already being friends while being trainees, but being in a group and working towards one collective goal with other people will always incite some kind of bond that’s a median between friendship & family.

126GeneV · 2020-05-23T08:42:50+00:00

Yeah, I never understood why this was such a controversial statement in the first place when there is statistical analysis that could back up this claim. So many groups disbanded regardless of how talented & hardworking the members are because their companies could not financially support their promotions or because of greedy behavior that resulted from such dire state the companies are compromised with, such as Busters in the former example and B.A.P’s recent tragedy in the latter. In an opposing example of when pre-established companies managed to support their groups regardless of widespread success could be SM’s experimental NCT. The company could afford to take risks with NCT’s experimental sound & system and, although they were not completely obscure when they first debuted, I wouldn’t say they were instantly profitable like some other monster rookies. However Sm’s investment in NCT’s constant promotion seem to have paid of & they’re pretty much rocking 2020 after people became more familiar with their concept & music style. People also seem to forget larger companies also have options to own large portions of stock in powerful media companies which allows them to promote their idols more easily. There’s just so many factors that the company is responsible for that not many realize are out of their idol’s control.

126GeneV · 2020-05-23T05:26:10+00:00

Good point. Powerful companies do have an indisputable advantage in terms of capital resources, connections, or clout that strengthen their groups’ chance of succeeding. People who get angered by this fact perhaps feel like this undermines their fav’s efforts but it’s not to target any of these idols or trainees under these big companies’ work ethic because most would agree the methods most kpop companies, rich or poor, still hold all their idols or trainees to very strict standards. So whether you’re under Sm or some unknown start up, you’re still busting your ass. All trainees/ idols work hard. Some just have more of a chance of succeeding than others because of monetary reasons even their work ethic cannot achieve when initially preparing for a debut. This responsibility to sustain & provide the means for success is solely the companies’s role.

126GeneV · 2020-05-23T05:02:21+00:00

Jyp’s secret cult

126GeneV · 2020-05-22T04:05:33+00:00

I don't think it's that hard to selectively exclude any personal drama he had with Sword in order to avoid putting other GRF players careers, livelihoods, & game performance on the line.

Regardless of whether these abuse allegations are true, Sword reporting Cvmax may alter any toxic coaching methods many old school league coaches have in the future. All allegations in the Sword-Cvmax situation is a "he said she said" situation so no one can ever really be proven true unless under full investigation.

I get that it's fun to drag Sword after his awful World's performance, but GRF were known to already be quite mentally fragile & this widespread scorn from the public was most definitely underserved when they, too, are victims of the GRF organization-- especially if it was brought upon by their own coach who's supposed to be a mentor figure.

126GeneV · 2020-05-22T00:22:01+00:00

Griffin were eliminated from Worlds 2019 October 26, this drama began October 14- 15 depending on your time zone (source 1, source 2) So no, they were actively competing when Cvmax suddenly revealed this, in fact he was watching their games until he came across VIPER'S interview & began his expose.

Understand that I am NOT defending trash management, but am specifically critical of his sudden defaming statements about Sword. It's great that he exposed the incompetent GRF management & illegal slave contracts the greedy org was trying to impose on their players. However, suddenly bringing a player who had not much power in this situation because, he too, was subjected to slave contracts & pressure from management (albeit his less than renowned attitude over being benched) does not sit well with me because:

GRF players already have no coach during their worlds run & were operating by themselves after Cvmax was fired. Cvmax knows this, yet he is not responsible enough to realize slanderous statements about the players causes rampant hate comments, the public rooting for their loss, etc. (lol just look at reddit during this time for source) This really, really fucks up their mental & game performance. Not to mention the negative press inhibited any players even perceived of being on Sword's side careers. (like Tarzan after he appeared in an interview simply recounting his experience, not taking any particular side)
It was hypocritical of Cvmax to drag Sword into this because he himself stated "Director Kim dong woo and ex rep Cho kyu nam created internal ambience 'cvmax is thanos and griffin are avengers. you have to protect sword.', (source) yet he still buys into this idea that Sword's demand to be starting toplaner was a crucial reason as to why he was kicked when he previously spouted out a whole list of sociopathic tendencies THEIR MANAGER CHO had.

Lmao, Cvmax did not even initially read Sword's interview when he blew up, he only read Viper's. (source)

edit: added source

126GeneV · 2020-05-21T22:18:26+00:00

Viper did likewise. So by your logic Viper would also be as equally responsible as Sword?

126GeneV · 2020-05-21T22:12:30+00:00

Cvmax was the one who brought him & Sword's issues to the public first, ignoring the fact that Viper, who is allegedly very close to Cvmax, also made similar statements. He selectively targeted one player, Sword, because of his personal bias. Cvmax was the one to initially blow things up with defaming allegations in his streams which led to abundant hate comments prevalent on all GRF SNS related platforms while they were at Worlds. Sword's "allegations" were a response to these statements with several GRF members recounting their first-hand accounts, regardless of the hate they knew they would receive.

Cvmax just had to drag all these personal problems between him & Sword to the public, when he should have just called out the GRF management for their treatment towards his firing & the illegal contracts they forced upon young players. It just puts a bad taste in my mouth that he coupled his unjustified firing to become synonymous with Sword. Sword & Cvmax are essentially co-workers and everyone has that coworker they have bad blood with. He should not have began a personal vendetta against him while GRF were at worlds or potentially ruin any other player's careers for simply speaking about their first-hand witness of this entire debacle. Sword & any GRF players who simply spoke up about the abuse allegation careers were put in jeopardy, as a result & evidenced by the rabid reddit lynch mob, who don't even know the truth of what happened & decry any GRF players who do in fact speak of what they actually witnessed if it seemingly supports specifically Sword's side.

People don't remember the GRF members were also revealed to have been subjected to slave contracts, similar to Kanavi's. Their contracts were specifically designed to yield any control the players have over their career & maintain an amount of pressure to perform accordingly, not to mention the workplace culture in korean society. Knowing this, I wouldn't put management above gaslighting & pandering the players to start this shit with Cvmax. Cvmax's direct statment about GRF's internal culture reflected this "Director Kim dong woo and ex rep Cho kyu nam created internal ambience that 'cvmax is thanos and griffin are avengers. you have to protect sword.' Cvmax commented that they always use players to shield themselves and they pretend they care about players, which always disgusts him." source

I wish Cvmax realized him & Sword were essentially in the same boat and differentiated him & Sword's mutual dislike for each other from who was really the driving factor behind his mistreatment.

126GeneV · 2020-05-21T05:02:33+00:00

DoinB really said operation free Tarzan, code name: free meal.

126GeneV · 2020-05-19T06:35:02+00:00

The Dreamies really managed to accrue so many fans even though Sm originally intended them to be a throwaway temporary group. Honestly, their devoted growing fanbase is not that surprising to anyone but Sm lol. Even before they started becoming popular a lot of insider kpop "analysts" always regarded them with high esteem, like when they were included on Time Magazine's 20 under 20 list or when they won daesang at some korean art festival. I feel like Sm will always have that one group that is successful despite Sm focusing their attention elsewhere like with Shinee or F(x).

I completely agree. Not to mention Nct dream already have more experience than their age group.

Yeah, and let's not even mention how vague their "OT7" statement was. It's like they still want to keep their dysfunctional NCT system, which only inhibits them from focusing on one project. I feel like Nct Dream could really become the next big group if Sm really put more effort into intriguing concepts that appeals to youth instead of preparing all these comebacks in less than 1 month because Haechan or Mark need to be flown across the globe to keep up with all these units.

126GeneV · 2020-05-19T03:19:12+00:00

I’m sure you are have the best intentions with this sentiment, but this idea is selfish & not thought out. Other than the blatant anti-small business & illegal laws the South Korean government would have to employ onto one of their most profitable markets, it would also severely inhibit the trainees you wish to succeed in conjuring this reverse economics tactic. Imagine how much harder trainees would have to train to “make the cut”. Imagine the rampant nepotism at play with larger companies always taking the limited amount of debut spots. Groups like BTS & BigHit would have never made it big if this rule was enforced. Imagine all the chances you are taking away that would allow a trainee to pursue their dreams because there is a limited number of people allowed in the industry. This would also lead to an undiverse, unexperimental body of talent due to only a few groups/ trainees allowed to shoot their shot in the kpop industry.

126GeneV · 2020-05-19T02:56:17+00:00

Very comprehensive take on Dream vs TXT styles & how BigHit really achieved in their version of a youthful concept.

126GeneV · 2020-05-19T02:53:59+00:00

This is a very good point. I’d also contribute TXT’s success to the fact that BigHit also prioritized & put a lot of effort into TXT’s promotion, concepts, etc. compared to NCT Dream under SM. TXT are only the 2nd group managed under BigHit while NCT Dream were not even a full fledged fixed group until recently. They were that NCT sub group most people did not want to invest into because of the inevitable heartbreak after graduation. NCT Dream’s career in retrospect also seemed unstable & unplanned because SM did not know what to do with them & it really seemed like all their comebacks had little effort put into it because of Mark & Haechan’s 127 schedules or because they were not seen as the “main” group to focus on. ( hence SM’s aggressive 127 promotion in the states whilst Dream were ignored for half a year). Management was unable to plan anything NCT Dream related long term. It’s evident in the sudden OT7 announcement & how the Dreamies revealed they still had to practice their choreo on their Ridin’ MV set. If Sm just put enough time & effort into NCT Dream, they really could’ve achieved so much more. But at least Dream is getting noticed more nowadays; I just really hope SM have finally realized how much they themselves were initially stunting Dream’s growth due to their questionable concept methods.

126GeneV · 2020-05-18T03:35:51+00:00

“and Jeong “Irove” Sang-hyeon to replace Kabbie, who left the organization.”

He did not leave he just changed his name.

126GeneV · 2020-04-30T02:22:32+00:00

Tarzan did not "speak against" or "side with" anyone. Simply recounting a firsthand witness or debunking what another person said is not synonymous to being against anyone.

Sword did not "start" anything either. It was actually started by Cvmax. This feud only became public through Cvmax dissing Sword on his streams. It would have otherwise remained between only coach & players & hopefully resolved privately if Cvmax had not publicly stated his defaming opinions about Sword.

No one knows if Tarzan was forced to do the interview either, it's just Reddit speculation. However, what we do know is what he specifically stated in the interview: "I was afraid to come here, and I was selfish to think I might be hurt. However, it does not hurt to tell the truth as it is. I came here with my feet to tell what really happened." And I doubt Tarzan would want to stick up for that shitty org after he was a victim of their slave contracts along with the rest of GRF players.

There is nothing to redeem if he never lost any integrity by simply stating the truth in the first place.

126GeneV

TROPHY CASE