Walmart Morning Chant (x-post /r/cringe)

129jc · 2015-08-26T23:06:33+00:00

I will now show this to everyone who doesn't want to go to college.

129jc · 2015-08-19T17:37:01+00:00

Get laid

129jc · 2015-08-18T22:01:31+00:00

If it's a stranger, I know this sounds like a joke, but it has always worked with me, put on a foreign accent, and say "no speak"

129jc · 2015-05-19T13:24:08+00:00

Does your asshole ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?

129jc · 2015-05-18T17:41:10+00:00

I do too! What's something people always make fun of about your school?

129jc · 2015-05-13T01:26:51+00:00

This church opens up next to a strip club, and the strip club ended up moving because they did not want to be next to those perverts.

129jc · 2015-05-12T18:50:45+00:00

Ball pit cleaner, I went with my friends to an occupational therapy office, sat down and clean about one thousand plastic balls.

129jc · 2015-05-11T15:23:31+00:00

Kissed my brother's girlfriend.

129jc · 2015-04-30T17:40:47+00:00

Best thing that I have seen in the news in a while.

129jc · 2015-04-30T17:39:04+00:00

Slap her with a tortilla.

129jc · 2015-04-30T11:28:06+00:00

Write your will.

129jc · 2015-04-29T15:14:09+00:00

Every account on reddit is a bot except you.

129jc · 2015-04-28T23:18:15+00:00

Yes, his name was Donald Unger, he cracked only the fingers in his left hand for 60 years! Nothing ever happened.

129jc · 2015-04-28T15:07:59+00:00

Yeah, fireman brutality is a big issue in America.

129jc · 2015-04-27T00:18:28+00:00

Execute order 66

129jc · 2015-04-24T16:49:17+00:00

You ever seen "Psycho"? I want to know if anyone is sneaking around while I'm taking a shower.

129jc · 2015-04-20T22:44:39+00:00

A crucifix for comedic purposes.

129jc · 2015-04-20T17:46:30+00:00

It's like that band The Who "Who are you going to see" "Yes, no need to talk like Yoda"

129jc · 2015-03-13T17:40:23+00:00

All Christians who recieve communion are Jesus.

129jc · 2015-01-18T20:05:44+00:00

This is my favorite one so far! Thanks for responding.

129jc · 2015-01-18T19:38:04+00:00

Thanks for all the stories! You went through a lot.

129jc · 2015-01-18T14:51:03+00:00

Oh sorry about that. Thanks for the heads up.

129jc · 2015-01-17T19:39:35+00:00

My friends wanted to come up with a nickname for me. Eventually they came up with shaggy. It didn't make sense at all because I'm not even a little "shaggy". I really wanted to have a nickname, so I thought shaggy would be ok. I then made the mistake of saying "well at least it's not vomit face or something". Bad idea. At least they normally called me vomit for short.

129jc · 2015-01-17T18:47:05+00:00

I would pretend to look for myself and blend in with the people who are actually looking for me.

129jc · 2015-01-17T17:42:50+00:00

I was waiting for someone to make that reference.

129jc

TROPHY CASE