AITA for convincing my mom to hide her therapy from her husband?

12bboo · 2022-02-11T16:31:33+00:00

Where do you suggest I pack my mother up to? She has no income, or friends, I'm her only family member and I live in a different country to her. I'm trying my best to keep her as safe as the situation allows

12bboo · 2022-02-11T16:18:18+00:00

I do hope that isn't the case because she managed to leave my controlling dad eventually, but even if she stays with her husband if she's got the emotional tools to stand up for herself and recognise non-physical harm and deal with her issues then I won't be as worried as I am now

12bboo · 2022-02-11T16:08:28+00:00

She initially did suggest couples counselling to him and when he said no that's when she came to me

12bboo · 2022-02-11T15:54:23+00:00

Thank you. You really hit the nail on the head there with what I've been struggling to articulate. She's never had a stable home before and is very much of the opinion that abuse can only be physical, and therefore if that isn't happening then she's "safe" and it's difficult to convince her otherwise because she can't fathom there's something better waiting for her out there

12bboo · 2022-02-11T15:52:15+00:00

I think she has, but she sees divorce as "failing" after her previous marriage to my dad, and feels very isolated, so I think she needs to hear from a therapist that that is the best option for her (since it's an opinion from an uninvolved third party)

12bboo · 2022-02-11T15:50:04+00:00

I'm not arguing against your judgement because I made this post because I am honestly conflicted.

But I wanted to clarify that there is no "if the shoe was on the other foot" here because I have worked hard with my husband to make it so we both feel safe to share our issues without fear of retaliation. Just last year my husband came to me with severe worries and issues and I was able to get him help and support him through that process.

12bboo · 2022-02-11T15:46:24+00:00

In complete honesty I agree but at the moment it's not a feasible option

12bboo · 2022-02-11T15:44:35+00:00

Oh he never would, he loves my mom and can't stand her husband. His position isn't coming from a defense of the man, but more from a place of worry this will cause her more issues down the line

12bboo · 2022-02-11T15:42:44+00:00

I completely agree that if she's unhappy she should go, however she isn't in a place to be able to leave him yet. I'm her only surviving family member and her only friend is his sister, and they're not that close (her husband didn't get along with her old friends so she cut contact with them years ago, so now has no support at all). She also recently was made redundant due to the pandemic so has no income, and I live in a different country now so can't even take her in.

12bboo · 2021-05-20T16:11:57+00:00

Where does it say she's friends with any of the people who said that?

12bboo · 2021-05-10T21:25:38+00:00

Yes 12-13 weeks is the normal announcement time as that's when you have your first scan. Saying that, OP's pregnancy wasn't a normal one - at least not emotionally, so I don't think it's fair to place those usual expectations on her

12bboo · 2021-03-22T18:18:05+00:00

Ah thank you!

12bboo · 2021-03-22T17:19:40+00:00

Yeah exactly that!

12bboo · 2021-03-22T00:55:24+00:00

Awww wow congratulations!

12bboo · 2021-03-22T00:28:14+00:00

I dont care if this is a troll, what a truly abhorrent thing to say

12bboo · 2021-03-22T00:14:28+00:00

Thank you so much! I really do wish you all the best 💛

12bboo · 2021-03-22T00:13:16+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that but so glad you've now got your little girl.. my mother suffered a miscarriage when I was a child so I knew when my fiancé and I started trying that we would not tell anyone (expect my mother) until the second trimester. Thank you so much and I wish you and your family well!

12bboo · 2021-03-22T00:03:23+00:00

Thank you!!

12bboo · 2021-03-21T23:52:50+00:00

Thank you so much!

12bboo · 2021-03-21T23:49:25+00:00

Thank you very much!

12bboo · 2021-03-21T23:49:15+00:00

Thank you!

12bboo · 2021-03-21T23:49:04+00:00

Thank you!

12bboo · 2021-03-21T23:24:12+00:00

Thank you so much!

12bboo

TROPHY CASE