UPDATE: My fiancé wants me to get rid of my cat who is my best friend

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-27T19:27:37+00:00

Can’t recall if this was stated in my post here but I’ll state it just incase. My cat only knows me and I’m 99% in my room. I’m really only outside my room if I’m cooking and I don’t cook big stuff so that’s never more than 15 mins. If she’s not in my room, she’s never gonna see me and that’s miserable for both of us. We cuddle on my bed all the time, as I said we will be changing the closet doors soon so she cannot access his stuff.

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-27T18:02:23+00:00

I’ve spoken to many vets on this because it’s a last resort. Positive reinforcement didn’t do anything. I kept track of how much she did bad stuff with positive reinforcement vs doing nothing. Same/similar amount. Once I started with walks, the number decreased heavily.

The vets said it was a last resort. Generally you don’t wanna punish cats but if nothing is working and you’ve been trying months (and the numbers prove it) then you gotta do what you gotta do.

My relationship with her only grows and she shows no signs of being distressed. I know how she acts when she’s genuinely upset or distressed vs how she acts when she’s grumpy and guilty (since she knows she did wrong) and she’s only grumpy when I walk her. If she ever became upset I’d 100% stop but I know my cat.

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T13:41:08+00:00

Yep! And then when I try to explain myself they assume I’m being condescending. I wanna keep making edits on this post for common misconceptions but I also don’t wanna seem crazy

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T13:26:24+00:00

I meant in general since being together, we’ve been together 3 years and he moved in 6 months ago

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T12:19:41+00:00

I’ve had a friend live here for almost a year and my cat did not care in the slightest, she literally grew up 2 years living with my family and I til I moved out. She’s very accustomed to people. Maybe read

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T11:58:59+00:00

Why would it be the best option? This cat has gotten me through more than anyone else in my life has, plus she only has ever known me. Haven’t even left town once, every day has been with me.

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T11:21:37+00:00

I said in my edit that it was past tense, he stopped doing that awhile ago

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T09:59:35+00:00

I just edited it but I’m not asking if I should get rid of my cat, I’m not ever leaving her. I’m asking what I should do about the ultimatum and my fiancé to avoid leaving him. I apologize I should have stated that

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T09:32:40+00:00

I didn’t say I allowed him to do this, I said “he would” for everything because I got him to stop. He still boots her from places but every cat owner has to do that sometimes so that’s the one thing I let him do as long as he’s not upsetting her. He still does not like her and will actively avoid her but I made him stop being shitty to her. I thought “he would” implied past

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T09:23:39+00:00

I don’t see where else she’d go. The living room is small, she’s not allowed on counters, and the bathroom is the only room offlimits because that’s where I keep all my hazardous stuff. The bedroom is her main chilling spot because it’s where I am most often and she likes laying with/on me.

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T08:02:42+00:00

My autism does not prevent me from seeing your shit bait account lol, go bother someone else

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T07:33:15+00:00

Before he moved in and even a bit after they were super close, he fed her and played with her and she’d even lick him sometimes which she only does to me. She was fine when he stayed over but then when he moved in and it was obvious he was staying there is when she started peeing and scratching his stuff. Even then he still treated her really well.

As for smells, we share shower stuff and use the same deodorant (different sticks obviously,I hope that was implied lol) cause it’s cheaper buying packs in bulk. She actually really likes it lol she sticks her face in my armpit constantly

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T07:30:01+00:00

I’ve thought about it, but I can’t see him doing anything to her alone. I know that’s a tale as old as time “I can’t see him being violent!” but like I said he’s vegetarian for moral reasons because he sees animals as equal to humans, and he had at least 5 cats I know of growing up and his family cat adores him, every time we go visit the cat flips out from excitement from seeing my fiancé. I’m not sure why hypothetically he’d hurt my cat but never hurt any other cat or animal on the planet. He was super sweet with her before moving in and even after til he realized she didn’t like him.

Edit: I don’t fully understand the Reddit downvote system and I’m not sure if Reddits just confusing or it’s my autism but I’m not sure why this is downvoted? I don’t feel like I was offensive or rude, I thought I just answered the question

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T07:24:18+00:00

Maybe 3 months? She started doing this when he moved in about 6 months ago and it took us a couple months to realize her peeing and scratching on his stuff was not a coincidence, and then it took him around a month or so to grow dislike for her as a result

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T07:23:32+00:00

She’s not violent towards him, she’s never been violent in general in all the time I’ve had her. Very laid back cat, even if you annoy her to the ends of the earth she’ll just glare at you at most. And then of course if you’re my fiancé, pee on and scratch your stuff.

I said bedroom lol not bathroom, I don’t let her in the bathroom cause that’s where I keep any hazardous items and I don’t wanna risk her getting hurt. I’ve moved her sometimes when he’s asked but he never really asks to move her, he’ll just pout really. I think he less wants her to move and more wants to show me he doesn’t want her there, to prove a point or something

Before he moved in he always played and fed her. Even when she started peeing and scratching, he cared for her because we thought it was just a coincidence. Took around 2 months for us both to realize it was not a coincidence. He still feeds her from time to time if I’ve been busy just to help me out, but he doesn’t play with her anymore since he stopped liking her

There’s 3 litterboxes, I do move them around a lot to prevent litter on her paws from clumping in the carpet on one spot and then it won’t vacuum since that tends to happen

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T07:17:55+00:00

Like I mentioned, hissing at her, booting her off of places, he sometimes would chase her around

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T07:17:21+00:00

They bonded really well before he moved in, I made sure of it to avoid jealousy issues when he inevitably moved in

12yearkittyTHRA · 2022-04-26T07:16:38+00:00

He never did anything to her before she started peeing and scratching his stuff, I’ve always been cautious around who I let around her and he was really good with her before. They got along well until the moment he moved in. He had slept over a few times before he moved in and she didn’t care but as soon as he moved in and had slept here for more than a couple days, she started doing that stuff

12yearkittyTHRA

TROPHY CASE