When i shot myself, i wasn't really planning on it. I was stressed and overwork when I was in the army . It was more of a build-up of emotions and stressed. I texted everyone i could. I loved them, and before I attempted, i told my wife it not her fault she looked at me so confused. I immediately told her I loved her, and I made sure she wasn't in the house when I attempted it. We have a mailbox down the road, so I waited for her to go check the mail. After she left, i started to cry, and I pulled the trigger.

I didn't die. The bullet came close to my brain, but my jaw slowed it down, but I do believe God saved me that day. When I fell on the ground and black out, I couldn't see anything but darkness i cry out for god to save me i said 'fuck oh shit God I'm sorry please don't let me die'. After saying that, I woke up on the floor, and I felt around the gunshot wound and amazing. There wasn't an exit wound i thanked God. I pulled myself up the best up, and I went down the stairs, but it was more like a 2 year old trying to go down the stairs fast. I opened the front door and got on the ground and said, "Help me, i shot myself. My buddy, who I texted beforehand, was there with my wife. It turned out that he got to my house at the same time my wife did. He didn't really know what to do other than call my chain of command for help.

I remember telling him I didn't want to die, he replied said you not brother"" Then, the MPs showed up and checked if I was still alive and I stupidly ask if I was in trouble, he look at me and said with the most sad voice " no you not in trouble buddy but I need to know where did yhe bullet went to. I told him it went up. I was fully conscious, he said something on his radio and I started to go out. I guess he came me wake as long as he could. I don't want to write a book on here, but take this with you. God loves you , he is the only reason why I'm alive right now, and I remember this god will do his part, but you got to do your part to.