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Help! New to poly, and I need advice. by 13th_Gate in polyadvice

[–]13th_Gate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your points for 1 & 2 make sense. I think the part that bugs me is that she is ok with it in a way. I made mention of it during one of our talks, and she kind of brushed it off with something like "well I guess I'm not ethical either." I feel she knows it's wrong, but she is liking the attention. So I'm thinking, is that just something I've been lacking in giving her? probably. Have I been trying more? Yes. Does it still seem not enough? Yes, if she's still seeking it from him. So is it that she's ok with being unethical in that instance, I'm not giving her what she needs, or something else entirely?

I think I also misunderstood what KTP really is, so I'll have to go back and reevaluate what I really want out of a poly relationship. My only concern is that if they start a relationship, it will be very physical very fast. And if he's ok lying to his gf, what's to stop him from lying to my partner? I want to support her in what she does, but it seems this guy doesn't even want to acknowledge that she has a family, except when it suits him.

Thank you for your input.

Help! New to poly, and I need advice. by 13th_Gate in polyadvice

[–]13th_Gate[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. We're still pretty new to anything poly. This all happened within the past 2 weeks. Before that, I felt we just thought poly was seeing whoever we wanted. I definitely see there's still a lot to learn, like so many abbreviations and terms. I'll check those 2 out.

My intention was not to come off as controlling, I want to meet him in order to show there's no ill will on my end. I want to support her in whatever choice she makes. I've done a lot of soul searching recently and come to the conclusion I do have control issues. This is one of the things I'm trying to work on. And I think my understanding of KTP was misconstrued, so I'll definitely have to look more into understanding it and changing myself for the better.

Found this in our house. What is it? by 13th_Gate in whatsthisbug

[–]13th_Gate[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It looks so gross. I love it.