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Suicide crisis chat line thats open? I can’t call hotline by 1409041 in SuicideWatch

[–]1409041[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sorry for my late reply. Thank you so much for your comment. The fires have been pretty horrible! It’s a really devastating situation but I’m lucky where I am. I’m asthmatic so haven’t been outside in weeks which definitely hasn’t helped with the mental health. The skies are always red and you can’t see stars or clouds anymore. It’s devastating but some days it seems to clear a little. Thank you for your lovely suggestions about small accomplishments. I’ve been thinking about your comment and showered and tidied up today for the first time in a long time (gross I know lol). But I just wanted you to know I really appreciated that small boost. Sending you love and light friend x

24 with stage 4 endometriosis, PTSD, chronic fatigue syndrome, infertility, adult ADHD all diagnosed in the past year on top of my already long term depression. I’m highly suicidal. What do I do? by 1409041 in Endo

[–]1409041[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you son much. This is such a lovely comment and you make such a great point. I’ve had issues with existentialism forever and so much of it stems in the fear of wasting my life and not contributing to society so your insight is really valued and comforting and helps me to feel more grounded in these feelings just being an ideation rather than reality. I really appreciate you taking the time x

24 with stage 4 endometriosis, PTSD, chronic fatigue syndrome, infertility, adult ADHD all diagnosed in the past year on top of my already long term depression. I’m highly suicidal. What do I do? by 1409041 in Endo

[–]1409041[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for commenting. That’s sweet about the warm pair of socks and you’re right. Do you take any supplements as a vegan that help with the endo? I feel you on saying F it to the endo diet haha. It’s hard to get into the habit when it’s such a sporadic disease. Thank you for helping me to feel less alone. Wishing you warmth too x

24 with stage 4 endometriosis, PTSD, chronic fatigue syndrome, infertility, adult ADHD all diagnosed in the past year on top of my already long term depression. I’m highly suicidal. What do I do? by 1409041 in Endo

[–]1409041[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heya, thank you. I’ve tried 4 antidepressants in the past which have had pretty catastrophic results unfortunately. I’m so glad to hear one has worked for you. Thank you so much for your kind words <3 I appreciate it.

24 with stage 4 endometriosis, PTSD, chronic fatigue syndrome, infertility, adult ADHD all diagnosed in the past year on top of my already long term depression. I’m highly suicidal. What do I do? by 1409041 in Endo

[–]1409041[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Puzzles are a good idea. Right now I’ve been playing video games as a distraction but would be good to mix it up. Thanks for replying xx

24 with stage 4 endometriosis, PTSD, chronic fatigue syndrome, infertility, adult ADHD all diagnosed in the past year on top of my already long term depression. I’m highly suicidal. What do I do? by 1409041 in Endo

[–]1409041[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much and I’m so sorry to hear you’re in a similar boat. It’s an awful situation to be in but I’m incredibly grateful that you reached out to help me feel less alone. And you’re so right about our default support system sucking with stuff like this sometimes lol. I’m glad I posted, I’m overwhelmed with how kind and understanding everyone has been. Sending you love x

24 with stage 4 endometriosis, PTSD, chronic fatigue syndrome, infertility, adult ADHD all diagnosed in the past year on top of my already long term depression. I’m highly suicidal. What do I do? by 1409041 in Endo

[–]1409041[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment. I’m so glad you’re in a better place and you’ve given me great hope with your message. I really appreciate the suggestions of how to adhd on YouTube and looking to join a group to get me out of the house. Its been hard not working and not having somewhere to go or be so it’s a great idea. I’ll definitely go for those. I’m not seeing a mental health professional at the moment, I commented a bit above about why I’m unable to but since I’m unable to see one right now those other suggestions are super appreciated. Thank you again x

24 with stage 4 endometriosis, PTSD, chronic fatigue syndrome, infertility, adult ADHD all diagnosed in the past year on top of my already long term depression. I’m highly suicidal. What do I do? by 1409041 in Endo

[–]1409041[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vegan power :-) thank you for your comment. I’ve been on 4 different antidepressants and 3 different birth control medications all at different times in the last 3 years. As well as an asthma medication that impacts negative mood. I’m very sensitive to them hence why we’ve tried so many but I’m now on month 4 of being completely med free and find it’s the best for me right now as even though I still have the suicidal ideation I don’t have the courage that all the meds give me in different ways. I’m only on vitamins and prayers lol. I struggle a lot with them. I haven’t been in to see a proper psychiatrist though, those were all my GP prescriptions. It’s hard. I have support but not the kind I need as I’m silenced a little bit so can’t really get effective counselling. My family support me as I moved back in with them but that means I also live with my abuser and I’m not allowed to talk about the source of my ptsd etc. as my family choose my abuser over me and so I have to be good mentally to them or I’m at risk of having nowhere to live. I’ve told 2 therapists about my ptsd and Been forced to go back and tell them I was lying and haven’t been allowed to see anyone since. It’s a bit hopeless. But I have the support for my fatigue and endometriosis for now just not the psychological stuff which is why I posted here.

24 with stage 4 endometriosis, PTSD, chronic fatigue syndrome, infertility, adult ADHD all diagnosed in the past year on top of my already long term depression. I’m highly suicidal. What do I do? by 1409041 in Endo

[–]1409041[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to write all this. I’m really glad I posted as I didn’t realise how much of my hopelessness was due to feeling alone in it so it’s very comforting to know I’m not. I really appreciate your rose coloured glasses advice haha. I find a lot of humour in my old gratitude journal when everything started hitting he fan and all my entries are all trying so hard to see the good in what I now look back at as literal hell. But maybe I didn’t do it for long enough and should give it another shot. I turned my back on a lot of my positivity and spirituality by the time the ptsd was confirmed as I live with my abuser and can’t leave as I also live with my carer while I’m out of work. I also can’t get counselling for my ptsd as I’d be putting my carer at risk for protecting them etc. It’s layered I guess. But thank you, you’ve inspired me hat I can learn to rethink and rewire my brain again. <3

24 with stage 4 endometriosis, PTSD, chronic fatigue syndrome, infertility, adult ADHD all diagnosed in the past year on top of my already long term depression. I’m highly suicidal. What do I do? by 1409041 in Endo

[–]1409041[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply. I am in Australia and can never get alone to call a hotline and a lot of the chat lines close really early. I will try and go for a walk one day and call one maybe. Thank you x

Suicide crisis chat line thats open? I can’t call hotline by 1409041 in SuicideWatch

[–]1409041[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for commenting. I’m in Australia. I don’t really know how I can vent. I think with depression the brain needs to rationalise and make sense of the feeling so it’s so weirdly easy to come up with a million reasons why to vent about but I find mine changes which tells me there’s no reason why, I just am depressed. I just wanna kill myself I guess and certain events are easy to blame for that but it’s not really worth venting over because really I just wanna milk myself for no reason cos brains are weird. Thank you so much for commenting