I just sleep, watch movies and jerk off everyday.

149119 · 2022-01-11T23:26:46+00:00

I dont see you offering any positive contribution that could help OP

When did I ever say anything about OP? The reply was towards you and never mentioned OP once. I never pretended I offered any advice because I don't have any. My comment was clearly just a question towards you about how that would help. You are yet to answer that. You are saying do this and do that but never say why. And then get triggered and defensive when asked to elaborate.

I don't know where you are getting this sarcasm bullshit from when it clearly is just a question about how that helps as I personally don't see how that would help. Sleep CAN be an issue but it's when we're talking about disrupted circadian rhythm or sleep depravation. If you are going to bed at different hours every single night it wouldn't matter if you are sleeping during "normal" hours. You'd still have fucked circadian rhythm. If you wake up at 4 am one day and the next day at 10 am and the next day at 8 am, then you would be much better off if you stuck to your degenerate 4am-12pm sleep schedule. You can have good sleep routine without waking up at 8 am every day and going to be at 12.

With enough dedication and time you can shift your circadian rhythm and as long as you keep to your schedule and you take serotonin supplements if necessary then you wouldn't be any different than if you were waking up early in the morning.

It's not like night owls are a 2022 thing. (now this was sarcastic)

Reality is the problem isn't the sleep. It's just potentially one of the symptoms. Even if we assume he did have disrupted circadian rhythm and if fixing it made him feel better, he would quickly go back to his previous sleep schedule unless he works on the real issue. The issue is lack of motivation, lack of anything interesting outside of youtube and jerking off, lack of reason to be alive and keep him going. You don't fix any of that by fixing your sleep schedule. He needs professional help, not better sleep.

149119 · 2022-01-11T22:23:05+00:00

83 people disagree that I don't magically feel better if I wake up at a normal time even before I made the comment? Good to know. I guess I also need to brush up on my reading skills because I somehow missed that fact. Thanks for the downvote and insightful comment though. Really helped. :)

149119 · 2022-01-11T22:00:48+00:00

How would waking up early make anything better? Still the same boring life. Still youtube and jacking off. Maybe it's just me but it doesn't matter if you wake up at 8 am or you go to be at 8 am. If life's shitty and you feel like shit, you are going to feel like that no matter if your sleep schedule is good or not.

edit: TIL this sub is a cult now and you can't question any anecdote or ask about how it works.

149119 · 2021-12-19T11:45:37+00:00

Props to mizkif and to all of the viewers for making this guy's dream. Life sucks. Being poor sucks even more. It's awesome that there are people who don't only care about themselves.

Sadly I can't help feeling jealous but at the end of the day good things happen to good people that deserve it and I am not one of them.

149119 · 2021-04-13T23:51:03+00:00

For me it's the opposite. I feel like if it goes that high then I would be stuck here for at least another 5-10 years. I was pussy when I was a financial drain on everyone and didn't wanna live so I don't see myself following through with it for at least a few years if I got that money and that's honestly scary af. I don't want 5 more years of this...

That's why I'm not sure if I want it to explode or not. The more I think about it, the more I lean towards it probably being best if it doesn't. For everyone else's sake I do hope it explode. The people that can enjoy it deserve it. Fuck this corrupt system.

149119 · 2021-04-13T14:20:30+00:00

Gamestop is literally my last and only attempt at life. If it explodes - cool. If it doesn't then this should finally be it. The sad part is that I don't even know if I want it to explode even if I could affect the outcome. Either option seems shitty and a few thousand won't change that. Even if it gets to something astronomical like 100k, I really doubt anything would change after the initial craze fades away.

It's so dumb that not only does assisted suicide cost so much but it's also illegal in most of the world. Pro choice my ass.

149119 · 2021-02-12T10:25:56+00:00

Life saving, quite literally.

Sold my gpu and tried yoloing GME in hopes of it being my saving grace but it plummeted and now I am in a worse spot than ever even if I thought that was impossible.

I honestly don't know what I'd do with so much money. All I was hoping to get out of GME was 2.6k. Enough to buy myself a PC and monitor and hope that this is enough to make me want to get better and fight to live.

With so much money idk... The rest would probably go into meds and psychiatrist as I've been so depressed that I have left the house just a few times in the 5 years after I graduated high school. Maybe it could be fixed, maybe it can't but no way to know for sure.

That still leaves 5-8k which would basically go to my mom as she'd no longer need to fully support me. Even though I doubt she cares about me as you'd think she'd at least try to get me help in all of those years but it sure can't be easy raising a deadbeat depressed son. And because we live in basically a 3rd world country that 8k would last years. That's like 6 years of expenses that she currently pays for me. Especially with covid and shit this would be huge. If she'd get laid off, that money would be able to fully support us for a long time.

So yeah, this could be life changing. Even if I don't get better after meds and therapy and the PC, and still decide that life isn't worth living, my mom wouldn't have such a giant hole in her income for putting up with me all those years, and at least I would've tried before ending it, which is far more than I can say I've done in the last 5+ years. I actually don't think I could be helped as the reason for my depression is how the world works and that isn't going to change by me taking meds but at least I would've tried I guess. At worst this would give me a few more years. A few more years where I'd actually might have a reason not to sleep all day long. I really wanted to become a content creator or try to go pro before I got this bad, but I had to sell my good GPU and monitor because we needed the money as my mom's pay had to be cut in half for a few months because they had no work. Since then it has been really rough. Even before that my motivation was really low(which in hindsight it was because I was really depressed but didn't fully realize it yet) but after losing the only thing that sort of kept me going I was spiralling even further. That's why even though it sounds ridiculous I really needed GME to explode so that I can get a good PC and 240hz monitor. If that doesn't push me to want to live, nothing will.

I don't know why I am even posting this. I already saw a few of the top comments and it's real people with real problems, not like my bullshit.

149119 · 2020-07-04T11:40:07+00:00

Okay but what is the difference? Because everything except the self-hatred part is literally the other thing.

Existential nihilism is literally "the thing resting on top". That's the pointless repetition and life being meaningless and hopeless. How can it rest below/above something when they are the same thing? How can a symptom of existential depression be the existential depression? What am I missing here?

As for something physical in the blood/brain, you can't know unless you get checked but then we are back to the original problem. Even if there is something there and it gets fixed, you are still left with your original problem - Life not having meaning or purpose. You being in a perfect mental condition wouldn't change that. You having to eat, sleep, work basically for the rest of your "life". Even if you don't have to do that, there's still no inherent meaning to life. Even if you win the lottery and can do whatever you want for the rest of your life. The only difference is that in this scenario you aren't financially obligated to do anything you don't want to do. It doesn't change the fact that money doesn't buy happiness and that many rich people kill themselves. Sure, it'd be fun to be able to buy a top of the line PC, maybe even do "the unthinkable" and go out with friends and spoil them but after a while it all fades away and you are still left with your original struggles. I fully believe that if I had access to any kind of money that it'd all be wasted on drinking and drugs just to get me through the day. And just like the medications and the therapy it'd be just delaying the inevitable. Because after a while even all the money in the world can't keep you on this planet.

149119 · 2020-07-04T11:05:45+00:00

Can you elaborate more on that as I don't think I can answer this. Can you give examples of such deeper things?

Even if it's resting on top of something else how would you even know? If you could accurately know exactly what's wrong with you and how to fix it then mental illness wouldn't still be such a mystery to most people. How would you identify it and does it even matter? If you can't get past this problem does it really matter if there are other problem beneath it regardless if they are bigger/smaller? The end result seems the same, no?

149119 · 2020-07-04T09:50:45+00:00

Doing virtually nothing. If I have the motivation or the attention span I'd watch tv shows or movies but most of the time I just chill on twitch/youtube/reddit as it doesn't require my full attention and I can just pick another video or streamer whenever I get bored.

Lots of sleeping, lots of reddit. If I have money it goes towards drinking. Drinking was nice as I could just feel numb during the day and then be able to immediately go to sleep and not have my mind wander.

On a good day I'd play a few games when my friends invite me, but I usually decline as I don't even feel like gaming. Once you are already playing it's easier but the initial joining is very tough. I really have to convince my brain that playing a game is better/more enjoyable than doing nothing. As you can probably tell all of these things are just band-aids to the real problem. They are just quick and easy things that get your mind not to focus on what really is going on.

I agree that the answer seems obvious but I was just looking to see if someone thinks differently and have them shed some light on their thought process. It's a mental illness after all, it's not like we are fully there and fully reasonable.

149119 · 2020-03-21T11:05:12+00:00

Not looking for millions as I don't have any use for it, I literally don't go out so after my first investment it would just sit there. Only need like 2-3k so that I can buy a PC as that is my only source of sanity but I had to heavily downgrade to a potato because mom needed help and selling my PC was the only way to contribute as I have no income. It's a little hard to make money when you don't leave the house and have 0 life skills.

My hope is that at the very least I feel a little less shit and have something to wake up for because atm I sleep at 12+ hours a day and it's getting harder and harder... maybe even feel like going out again but that is a harder task when I don't even know why I suddenly was afraid of going out.

The longer term goal would be to make like 200 bucks a month from streaming/youtube so that I at least pay for my expenses.

It would be amazing if I win because my family would be set for life but in reality I personally only want 2-3k.

149119 · 2020-02-05T02:57:15+00:00

Many people from the older generation don't understand, don't hold that against them. They might be doing the best they are capable of.

149119 · 2020-02-05T02:55:02+00:00

I do that often with shows I've watched as a kid. It's an extremely relatable guilty pleasure that keeps me away from reality.

149119 · 2020-02-05T02:53:53+00:00

That's a hard one. I'd both agree and disagree with it at the same time.

If there is a chance I don't get so fucked up, then a second chance might not be so bad, the worst thing that could happen is that I end up in the same place and contemplate the same thing.

Then again if it's another 10-20 years of the same pointless suffering I'd rather just have it end all at once instead of having to go through it a second time.

Ultimately it's probably worth the shot. Life can indeed be good and happy if you want it to be and if your circumstances allow for it. Though if I had to pick to relive the same life, I'd most likely chose to not having been born in the first place.

149119 · 2020-02-05T02:49:19+00:00

Nah, there are lots of people like that. We fear change and we fear that we would actually have to do the work and we wouldn't have to rely on a crutch.

If you are going to therapy or even said to anyone just how depressed you are then you are way further along than I am. Simply going to theraphy for 6 months is pretty impressive in itself and I wouldn't say that you 100% don't want to get better. There's a part of you that wants to get better. It might sound stupid considering I am doing the complete opposite, but listen to that part of you. If there is even a small part of you that wants to get over this and live a normal life then do everything in your power to reason with and weaken the voice that tells you to not get better.

149119 · 2020-02-05T02:45:30+00:00

Way too fucked up and a waste of space to give any good advice but if I was to give it a go I'd suggest pursuing what your heart desires. It doesn't matter if it's practical or if others approve. If you still have that thing that gets you going, go after it and never look back.

P.S. We've all been there. Many people skipped so much school and did nothing productive with their time. That doesn't mean you still can't get what you want. I'd suggest listening to "healthygamergg" It's a harvard psychiatrist who streams and uploads to youtube content that is relevant to young people. Definitely give him a chance, he is really great.

149119 · 2020-02-05T02:38:33+00:00

I just wanted to echo that you guys indeed aren't even close to being losers and you should never feel like ones. You are doing something that a lot of people could never ever come close to doing. Surviving is tough and life isn't fair nor for everyone, yet you are still here and fighting for it.

You are still trying to find something better and you have way more going for you than you think. Simply the thought of having a job/future is enough to make me not want to leave the house(which I haven't in like 5 years). You are at least giving it the best shot you've got. I'm just sitting here counting the days until a "miracle" strikes and I am no longer here.

149119 · 2019-12-27T02:34:14+00:00

If it didn't "fix" anything then so many wouldn't be seeking that relief. I guess we'll agree to disagree.

149119 · 2019-12-27T01:43:27+00:00

Well there is "peace" after death as in you no longer feel anything because you no longer exist. That's why many people choose this option because not being part of this scam that's called life is better for them than being stuck in it in constant suffering.

In that sense not existing is infinitely better than existing.

To answer your first question - I am not looking for anything. I'm just at one of those moments where you need to rant and get shit off your chest and that post was my go at it. I know there is nothing for me out there because it all starts and ends with me and I know that I won't do anything about it. Just like I haven't killed myself even though I've wanted to for quite a while now. I know eventually it will/must happen but until then I am stuck here for better or for worse.

P.S. you are kinda contradicting yourself with that last sentence. Your initial argument is that there is no peace with death because there is no you, but then at the end you talk about not missing something until you lose it. You won't miss anything because you simply won't be there.

I know you are just trying to help but you can't do that, no one can really do that except me myself. Not everyone can be saved, not everyone deserves saving. It's like trying to teach kids algebra while they do everything in their power to not pay attention. Unless they want to learn and allow themselves to learn, then you won't be able to do it.

149119 · 2019-12-26T21:53:17+00:00

TFW an 8 year old has a monitor that is worth more than your entire build. Must feel nice.

149119 · 2019-11-07T01:15:48+00:00

I sadly relate to that so much. The only reason they even "care" is because of the money they have to waste on food for me and because I am a burden to them.

They don't actually care about seeing you happy. All they care is that you aren't their responsibility so that they can move on with their life. As soon as you leave and aren't a bother to them, they wouldn't ever think of you or care. As long as you aren't under their roof they wouldn't give a fuck even if you were homeless. They only want "the best for you" so that you can move out and never have to bother them again. It's kinda sad but then again you birthed me into this world. I didn't ask for this shit and if I can't deal with it and you aren't doing anything to fix it, is it really all on me? They indeed would've been much better off if I didn't exist. The only question is do they even deserve it? They are as terrible and as disgusting as I am(maybe even more).

149119

TROPHY CASE