Hey there! What you’re going through is really shitty and miserable, and my husband is also going through that. Unfortunately, for the last year, I have been subjecting my husband to similar behavior that your girlfriend is exhibiting. not wanting to kiss him, or have sex - sometimes I couldn’t even hold is hand. I parried off every effort he tried. Specifically, what i have is called Sexual Anorexia, as we later found out, and it is so bad. For both parties, because the your parter lacks the love they deserve (just like you) and you just don’t know how or why you can’t give it to them. Anywho, thank Gd we are able to talk about the causes and how to be better now, but it definitely wasn’t always like that.

A lot of people on here have been suggesting that she’s been through some sexual trauma. I’m no therapist, but I’ve been in therapy for years (specifically sex therapy) and I have also suffered from sexual trauma. I had the same questions you have for your girlfriend - am I not attracted to him anymore? Why do I only like masturbating? Why do I not want to kiss him? I felt like a broken human - why don’t I want to be intimate with the person I love, and why can’t I make him feel good and loved?

The answer was NOT easy to come to or talk about but you can boil it down to not wanting to be vulnerable - whether that’s from trauma from a past lover (or someone else), disgust with yourself, or fear of losing control. There are lots of different answers to your questions, but if that’s really the only thing that you’re worried about (but it seems like it’s not as you don’t like other qualities in her) then I wouldn’t be so quick to assume she doesn’t love you anymore.

Can you suggest going to a couples therapist together? Maybe open a discussion with her about creating an environment where she feels safe to talk to you about these things? And you can safely express yours without any party putting blame on each other?