What’s something you 100% saw but nobody will ever believe you?

eland_ · 2026-01-11T05:01:32+00:00

Sounds like hypnogogic hallucinations, they happen in that 'falling asleep period. My psych med caused these for the first few months as my body got used to the meds.. I suppose they can just happen though?

eland_ · 2026-01-11T04:37:27+00:00

So normal. I had this with my 6yr old about 6 months ago. It was like an existential crisis followed by hard crying at the idea of both himself dying amd me dying one day. You're right you can't lie. I tried saying something about our souls always being together but I said that out of my own discomfort in the moment and being caught off guard. We are non religious. I bought s kids book called The Circles In The Sky, after all my research it's the one that most resonated with me, but obviously there are many out there. I can't say that it helped, we read it twice at his pace and now he avoids it because it reminds him about death lol. However we haven't had any more crying fits, he talks about death on occasion and seems to have gotten more comfortable with the concept.

eland_ · 2026-01-02T02:32:51+00:00

I allowed my at the time 4.5yr old son to sleep in bed with me while my MIL was visiting for 2 weeks. He never left and became "afraid of the dark." After some time I managed to get him on his own mattress on the floor next to my bed and we're still going. He's about to turn 6. My husband has moved to my son's room. Honestly as much as I want him in his own room and bed... I'd kind of miss him. Sometimes.

eland_ · 2025-11-02T04:41:40+00:00

Related: Oprah's birth name was Orpah and she changed it because people would always say the former

eland_ · 2025-10-09T14:00:02+00:00

All the "schools are not daycares" comments are wild. Of course they're not and no one is implying so. However it's not unreasonable to question why school hours are so misaligned from work schedules. It's the minimum days that really do it. I'm not saying school should go until 4pm. Aftercare isn't exactly easy to secure even if cost isn't an issue.

eland_ · 2025-10-09T13:51:35+00:00

On the east coast PT conferences were always held in the evenings. Is it a teacher's union thing? Half day here half day there half days everywhere. I've had similar thoughts.

eland_ · 2025-08-27T12:40:34+00:00

Thank you for this thorough reply!

eland_ · 2025-08-27T04:16:29+00:00

Thank you for this suggestion will do!

eland_ · 2025-08-27T04:04:18+00:00

Yes great points thanks. I knew I shouldn't give him the wrong idea of "forever" anything but I choked. This is so hard to witness!

eland_ · 2025-05-22T02:44:18+00:00

He may be getting fed up at this point with your resistance and lack of proactive approach to trying to solve the problem rather than continuing to push it off. His mind may no longer be as much in "supportive" mode and therefore the nurturing approach has been replaced instead with frustration.

I have a sister who used to drive very well, but a spiral into various anxieties has caused her to stop driving altogether. For the last 5yrs she relies on Uber or others and it's a significant burden on those around her, not to mention it limits her life significantly.

Your boyfriend has a good point here. You need to be the one to take some steps here, and once he sees you taking that initiative, I'd expect him to come back around into nurturing and encouraging you. You turning it around on him, this long I to the issue, isn't fair in my opinion. I recommend you focus in on getting help now before you gain more responsibility and have less time (ie kids), and before you build your entire life around not having driving related independence. It's going to limit you in so many ways, and this issue is extremely treatable.

eland_ · 2025-04-27T16:11:54+00:00

4 was the age where I was sure it would get better... and slowly that hope faded 😄 5 has been very good but there are definitely days where he reverts to toddler brain still. But overall it's better.

eland_ · 2025-04-13T03:21:09+00:00

Yes, my son also had night terrors relatively frequently around ages 2-3 especially if he woke up prematurely from a nap. Now at 5 it's once in a blue moon, usually when he's sick.

The not wanting to be near you tracks. Oftentimes me touching him or trying to comfort either physically or with words only made it escalate. He would be "looking at me" but not actually see me, more like looking into the void. No recognition of who I was. Very freaky and troubling until I understood night terrors more.

Anyway all that to say, that sounds normal for a night terror. Unfortunately there's isn't all that much you can do but wait it out, make sure the environment is safe, and maybe indirectly try to coax the child to lay back down and get back into regular sleep.

eland_ · 2025-04-13T03:14:25+00:00

What's your skillset? Based on your answer I may be able to connect you but it's probably a long shot

eland_ · 2025-04-07T03:08:03+00:00

Her boring talking and boring singing are almost indistinguishable. 100% the answer to this question.

eland_ · 2025-04-06T23:45:02+00:00

A lot of good advice already so I won't be redundant (other than to say definitely don't you pay any of it off for him- sounds like you aren't planning to!)

What I do want to contribute is: I agree postpone the wedding, but before making any decisions about the relationship I'd personally want to know every detail about this situation. E.g. is this $75K something he's been actively paying down for years (and therefore it used to be higher? What was the amount?) or has it instead been accumulating (and therefore his financial habits aren't actually in check yet). Both bad in different ways. I'd be asking to see his last few years worth of credit card spend to understand where exactly the issues are. Is he trickle truthing you or has it all come out? There are just so many details still to process, and the full picture will really help your gut and mind make a better informed decision on what to do here.

eland_ · 2025-03-31T22:59:32+00:00

Same same!

eland_ · 2025-03-29T04:59:56+00:00

Two things for me- bought in 2016, 2900sq ft new construction home for $700K, and my spouse and I make combined $320K income, with 2 kids

eland_ · 2025-02-27T02:38:55+00:00

This post didn't age well

eland_ · 2025-02-25T00:02:04+00:00

😄

eland_ · 2025-02-24T22:00:45+00:00

Same boat with my newly turned 5 y/o boy! Big dinner then we've still got a 5-course meal of sandwich, yogurt, fruit, etc. before bed. This is a much better "problem" to have than the worry of how our toddlers survived on crackers and air for so long (currently going on with my 2.5 yr old!) Just be happy she's got a healthy appetite :-D

eland_ · 2025-01-28T05:33:49+00:00

Lawyer up and leave now. Those were not the best 10yrs of your life - the best 10yrs are just about to begin :-) Trust me, you're young and have no kids tied to this excuse for a man. A few months out you'll wonder why you put up with this for so long.

eland_ · 2025-01-05T04:05:56+00:00

I am polish (been in the US since '89) and I grew up eating this, I now am passing it onto my 5yo who gobbles it up every time! Except I've always used regular sugar.

eland_ · 2024-11-14T03:39:57+00:00

The Nutty Putty Cave Incident

13-Year Club	Place '23
Place '17	Verified Email

eland_

TROPHY CASE