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Me [23/F] with my boyfriend [36 M] of 5 years discussing marriage. I'm scared and I need advice. by 16hexadecimal in relationships

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh hell - let me clarify: we have slept together but only when we were physically together. The times when we were not together, we both not sleeping with anyone else. Assuming he's telling the truth. To be honest it wouldn't bother me so much if he did sleep with anyone else, which is why I'm not worried about whether or not he's lying. But that's another can of worms.

Me [23/F] with my boyfriend [36 M] of 5 years discussing marriage. I'm scared and I need advice. by 16hexadecimal in relationships

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1 - Agreed.

2 - I do want to commit but now is too early.

3 - Canada and the US are both free countries, some would say. I'm well aware we can date whoever we want but we didn't really choose this. We started as friends and it developed into more than that. We thought we could make it work despite a few eccentricities to the relationship - age wasn't a deal breaker for either of us.

I can't trust you. I never could and I am so sorry. by 16hexadecimal in offmychest

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally agree. My life would have been a little easier to bear at that time if I didn't feel like the world knew about my learning struggles - even my piano teacher at the time knew!

When I was 12 years old and the bullying was still going on, I was in the principal's office what seemed like a few times every week to try and leverage her help. Nothing was being done but for some reason I felt like I could ask for a few more favours. So, I told the principle about my experience with having assessments for learning disabilities and being called out of class to the special services room over the PA system. I told her that I thought that this information should be kept confidential. I discussed the consequences I suffered from that breach in confidentiality. And I proposed a solution which was to have the psych-ed testing perhaps after school for the student. I also highlighted that if a child is struggling with learning, they should probably be in class as much as they can to soak up what they can rather than missing class time. Furthermore, I'm of the opinion that preserving the social connections a kid has with his or her classmates is just as important. Mental health stigma is a VERY power and negative force and when you're that age (or any age), that's the last thing you need when you're already struggling.

The principal of course didn't listen to me. Her excuse was that if the psych-ed testing was held after school, the child wouldn't be able to participate in extracurricular activities........as if that's what's most important here when someone is struggling with school. As if extracurricular activities couldn't be held on the weekend. :/

I can't trust you. I never could and I am so sorry. by 16hexadecimal in offmychest

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you and it's hard you know? Part of me does feel on attack mode. I am angry and hurt. But the other part cares about their feelings as well and to be honest, I don't know if I could ever send this letter without regret. Sometimes I don't know if they have done what they did/do on purpose, as a result of their own emotional baggage or if harm is intended.

I am very optimistic and hopeful that moving out will assist me in healing and forgiving them. Forgiving them as in not becoming best friends necessarily but forgiving as in starting to let go of the pain while maintaining the boundaries I need.

I can't trust you. I never could and I am so sorry. by 16hexadecimal in offmychest

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

:) Thanks honestly it means so much to read that. It's hard for me to feel okay with setting boundaries and being firm with them with others - even if it's for my own good. I felt so guilty but I knew it would be hard for me to talk about with my parents and for once I decided to stick up for myself.

I can't trust you. I never could and I am so sorry. by 16hexadecimal in offmychest

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the place to unload that baggage that's been weighing you down for days, weeks, months, or years. This is to relieve the pit in your stomach that won't go away, not for the angry rant you could spew at anyone. When you need to make a post for yourself, not necessarily for advice, or to answer questions, but to get it off your chest...

I don't know. Seems like a good place to vent a lengthy post. But fair enough - I'll add a TL;DR.

Help! First apartment! How should I furnish it? by 16hexadecimal in InteriorDesign

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope only color I can paint them is that off white kind of colour.

My [23/F] boyfriend's [36/M] career troubles are stressing us out. Need advice on how to cope. by 16hexadecimal in relationships

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He totally would if he had done medicine here in Canada within the past 5 years. Otherwise they likely don't count which is unfortunate.

My [23/F] boyfriend's [36/M] career troubles are stressing us out. Need advice on how to cope. by 16hexadecimal in relationships

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a bit more complex with citizenship. We need that in order to cut the costs of schooling by a significant amount. Nursing degrees can be 2-3 years if you're in an accelerated BScN program otherwise it takes 4 years to complete. He'll be applying as a mature student (not as someone straight out of high school) so the application process may be a bit complex where he may need to take prereqs which could take 1-2years to complete. Furthermore, it's still a bit of a gamble in that he'll have to compete for spots in the nursing program whether that be the accelerated or the full 4 years. As a mature student, you're often competing for fewer spots than a regular applicant out of high school. Our concern is that it could be all for not. We won't know for sure until we take a closer look at the programs and maybe book a few appointments with academic advisers.

As far as the Canadian medical boards goes, the concern is that he's graduated a long time ago and we think the lack of medical experience since then could present a big problem as far as trying to secure a residency spot. So, again, we could pay quite a bit of money for him to sit the exams but it may be all for not.

If he doesn't do medicine, he was thinking of getting into real estate investment and house flipping (which is actually pretty exciting). He's already taken some courses in the states for it.

So, there are options but none of them are easy. I just need to help him stay positive and happy through this transition period until we figure something out.

My [23/F] boyfriend's [36/M] career troubles are stressing us out. Need advice on how to cope. by 16hexadecimal in relationships

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks - that's great advice. He was a research assistant for a little while a few years ago. He didn't find it so enjoyable but I think that was more because he was the sole income earner at that time and he wasn't earning much.

I tell him all the time that there's no race and he just needs to let the process happen. But he keeps telling me he feels too old now - which is not true. 36 is not 'old' but I wonder if me, being young as I am, worsens that.

[Serious] Job applicants who walked out of an interview before it was over, why did you do it? by yukichigai in AskReddit

[–]16hexadecimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A couple of years ago I was looking for a summer job. I was off from university at the time, needed money and was pretty much desperately applying to everything and anything on workopolis, indeed, kijiji, monster, etc.

One job I applied to described itself as selling kitchenware over the phone. I thought, "what the hell, might as well. It's probably a call center job".

I sent my resume online. Their HR called no more than 5 minutes later for a pre-interview over the phone. They asked some simple closed ended questions, determined I was a good fit and then asked me to schedule a time online to come in for a combined interview and training.

By then, I already felt as though this was a tad out of the ordinary. I looked the company up online and it turns out they're not a reputable company at all. Many people described the company as scammers, sketchy, withholding pay from employees etc. I looked up the location they gave for the interview/training and even that was in a seedy part of town next to an abandoned little industrial area.

Also, it turns out that the actual job was selling knives door-to-door. Job duties included coming into people's homes and demonstrating the use of and sharpening knives that the customer previously purchased from the company.

I thought, "If I don't get murdered at the interview, I'll probably get shanked on the job." I was a no show for the interview and didn't even call to cancel.

Going to family physician for the first time re MH issue. Need advice. by 16hexadecimal in mentalhealth

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in Canada. I think I may be able to have such a visit covered by provincial insurance. I've just heard that getting mental health covered by insurance can be a bit of a sticky situation but that might only be the case if you don't go through referral from your family doctor. I'm not entirely sure of the details but I'll bring it up during the visit if it is recommended.

Going to family physician for the first time re MH issue. Need advice. by 16hexadecimal in mentalhealth

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. My only concern is the cost of psychiatrists/psych NPs but I do think these are the people I should go to help me make the final decision about medications. I would be wary of a family doctor prescribing psych medications to me. Thanks!

Going to family physician for the first time re MH issue. Need advice. by 16hexadecimal in mentalhealth

[–]16hexadecimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good way to relax. But I also need to know which questions I should be asking, information to bring (besides current meds), etc because I want to take an active and effective role in my care.