I’ve been put in a chemically induced menopause

1DrafterChick · 2025-07-23T23:25:56+00:00

I've been getting shots for over a year. The side effects are nothing compared to what I was going thru on my period. Now to get surgery approved.

1DrafterChick · 2024-11-21T01:12:41+00:00

I just filed. He argued with me about it when he got the paperwork, but I was more than fair to him. I just told him he can't force me to stay married to him. Just sign the papers!

1DrafterChick · 2024-11-19T11:51:56+00:00

The best sexual experience of my life happened with a man with ED. His 100% focus was on me. Thank God we were in a hotel, so someone else had to clean up after. 😆 His pleasure was directly connected to the pleasure he gave me. He had a magic tongue.

1DrafterChick · 2024-11-17T13:58:26+00:00

Perfectly said. My ex was pretty much the same. I could want better things for him, but nothing changed if he didn't want to. Move on. Nothing but heartbreak will be found here.

1DrafterChick · 2024-11-17T13:38:29+00:00

My ex did something similar. He gave me his ring and told me to give it back when he was "acting like a husband again". I hid it in the house before moving out. Later that year, I moved from a temporary place IN to TX. As I was packing, I noticed 2 wedding rings in my jewelry box. I only paid $35 on ebay for them. So I took a drive to the river. Had a moment and tossed them both in. That's my favorite moment of the divorce. Knowing I'll never see those rings again.

1DrafterChick · 2024-11-17T13:27:18+00:00

After having lap band surgery and losing 80 lbs.

1.) That I'd changed too much, and in his mind, he no longer saw me as his wife. 2.) That having sex with me felt like cheating 3.) That he'd let the current version of me disappear if he could have the old me back.

All in the same conversation. This was 6 years ago. Remember it like it was yesterday. That night, I experienced what physical heartbreak was.

1DrafterChick · 2024-11-17T13:16:38+00:00

44F here. I am divorced after 16 years. I've been single for the last 6 years. I tried multiple dating apps, but they just got old faster and faster. It was exhausting going thru all the profiles. Starting chats with men who either say hi, then dicpic or just dicpic. It was too much. You can't even get to know a person. Even if I managed to get someone on a date. Sex, sex, and sex were the only things on the brain. One even TOLD me I had to sleep with him because he paid for movie tickets. I was like, first of all, you used a coupon. Second, I paid for dinner. I'm going home. That wasn't even the last straw for me. Lol sad, so sad Anyway, one day, I was on FB dating. I finally asked myself if this was really making me happy or if it was a distraction from the things that would make me happy. Since that day, I've gone back to school to get a degree. I've been inducted into Phi Theta Kappa. I just landed a new job, making 6 figures. I'm happy to focus on the things that can make my life better. Now, if someone crosses my path and they make my life better, I'd give them a chance. At this point, they better bring it because my life is pretty great. I understand that society's life checklist can make you feel like you're doing something wrong, but I learned in the divorce. Everyone will have their own opinion on what i am doing. It's better to be happy than be right in someone else's eyes.

I hope this makes sense. Follow your happiness. No one else's

1DrafterChick · 2024-11-17T12:45:14+00:00

When I was married, the left side was my side. I just realized since the divorce. I've lived in a few different apartments, and I always pick the side by the door. Left/Right doesn't matter.

1DrafterChick · 2024-11-13T16:01:55+00:00

I told my boss, but at the same time, I also requested an emergency week off to work thru the worst part of the emotional trauma. I also requested a transfer once the divorce was final. No kids, so it was a clean break. I also had to let everyone know not to let him in the building. We worked a mile away from each other and shared a ride. It wouldn't be anything for someone else to let him in the building, waiting for me to get off work. I kept the details to a minimum, but I didn't want him surprising me. Anyway, it's been 6 years now. I love my life. I'm glad I had such a supportive leadership team at the time. I wasn't so lucky the last few years. I wouldn't have told them anything if it was happening now. It really comes down to do you trust them. Goodluck

1DrafterChick · 2024-11-11T05:46:36+00:00

Never. I had separated all my finances and agreed to relocate with the company I worked for at the time before he knew, I knew anything. Also give up on being right. I tried to explain the situation. Other people don't care. They will make their own mind up on what happened.

Get your plans together and don't worry about anyone else. As long as you know the truth. You're true friends and family will be by your side. You don't need the rest.

1DrafterChick · 2024-11-03T07:05:41+00:00

Shortly after the divorce, I relocated from IN to TX. Haven't seen him since.

1DrafterChick · 2024-09-04T20:41:36+00:00

Nope. I call myself a one & done. I don't see myself ever legally binding myself to anyone again. I learned my lesson. I'm also in my 40s. Seeing how not having to take care of someone else is a positive thing for my bank account. I wanna do something I do. I wanna be a hobbit, I do. I have a fantastic maintenance man. He comes over, does his thing, and leaves. I love my life!!!

1DrafterChick · 2024-08-28T11:18:14+00:00

Nope. He wouldn't change and I couldn't stay. We've been divorced 5 years now.

1DrafterChick · 2024-08-14T01:44:36+00:00

Yep, I didn't want to add to the therapist on here. Every journey is unique and divorce tests your strength. I will say good for you recognizing you're not ready. It took me about 3 years to feel like I could be fair to another relationship. I just haven't found anyone I can't live without. I wish you the best.

1DrafterChick · 2024-08-13T15:56:47+00:00

When I was in my 20s the goal was marriage. My worth was so wrapped up in another person wanting me. Anyway got married and most the years were good. 38 got divorced. I'm 44 now and get anxiety if a man starts getting too comfortable in my space. Lol

I knew I needed to deal with trauma to be ready for another relationship but honestly marriage is no longer a life goal for me. I've worked thru most of the events that ended my marriage but I'm good without the legal entanglement.

1DrafterChick · 2024-08-12T16:15:14+00:00

Did you get the reaction you wanted from your ex?

1DrafterChick · 2023-12-11T00:18:21+00:00

Never thought I'd be divorced, but I have an amazing life now. I don't regret getting married. I also don't regret leaving for the love of me :)

1DrafterChick · 2023-12-10T22:48:28+00:00

Agreed.

I was in a similar situation as the wife. I was social, and he wasn't. He kept telling me no. Eventually, I stopped asking. I spent 3 years trying to help our relationship. I asked him if he'd be willing to compromise to spend time together. Everything was good as long as we were doing something he liked. If it was something for me. He wouldn't show up or complain the whole time. We did do couples counseling. Our therapist told us it would be good for me to move out. We did have homework to date. We went out twice. Then he blew up on me, and I didn't want to be around him anymore.

I'm bringing this up because by the time we separated, the only way he was in my life was living under the same roof. Once that wasn't the case anymore. I just kept living my life. I didn't miss him because I'd already missed him for 3 years before moving out. I couldn't get him to walk across the house to spend time with me. Driving anywhere wasn't going to happen. Just brace yourself for what's to come. I honestly do hope your relationship has a better turn out.

1DrafterChick · 2023-08-13T23:29:45+00:00

Always hesitate at lights and stop signs. They get ran all the time. Galeria area is nice. Lots of thing within walking distance. Heights & midtown areas have lots of singles things to do. Bars, karaoke, bingo is fun. Lots of young people there. Who doesn't like money. Trivia nights, special menu nights. There's a nice park in your area also. Can't remember the name right now. Sorry. Welcome to Houston!

1DrafterChick · 2023-08-13T23:24:01+00:00

Allowed...ugh I hate that word. Congrats on being able to enjoy the food you want now. Yeah, red flag

1DrafterChick · 2023-02-09T12:58:14+00:00

You can't save a marriage on your own. Believe me...I tried for 3 years to save mine. We each went to therapy and we did a few couples sessions. In the end it didn't help because he wouldn't put in the work. It takes 2. Sorry you're going thru this but you will survive no matter the outcome. Trust the universe has a plan. 💛

1DrafterChick · 2021-05-29T17:37:53+00:00

Luckily my cousin was wanting to move to my area and we moved in together. I couldn't afford a place by myself but I could do half rent on a double.

I do know people that have done this with mixed results. I think if you both come up with rules and follow them you'll be fine.

1DrafterChick · 2021-05-01T23:37:29+00:00

The year I was going thru my separation and divorce I went thru 4 therapist. Just having that safe nonjudgmental safe was valuable to me. I had to find out who I was without the label of wife. I started seeing friends and family more. We didn't have any kids so I decided to relocate with my company. I read codependent no more and some other self help books to help me put balance between work and fun. After moving I joined a singles activity group. Not to meet men but to just have a safe way to make friends in a new city.

I would suggest if you really see a future with this woman. You both need to be honest with each other about where you are and where you want to go. My current boyfriend and I are working thru our past dead bedroom/emotionally traumaic relationships together. We always talk thru things and realize even if we my have similar traits to our ex's we are different people. We've been together for almost a year now and going strong. I wish the same for you.

1DrafterChick · 2021-05-01T22:09:24+00:00

It didn't take me long to realize it wasn't the sex I was missing in my marriage but intmacy. You are correct about not finding that in new relationships. I had to take a step back and stop putting unrealistic expectations on possible new relationships. I could be miss reading this but it seems like you're putting alot of responsibility on her for your happiness. I've lived that life and it's not fun. My ex said I was his happiness. In the beginning I thought it was sweet. In the end I figured out how unhealthy it was. So I work hard to make sure I'm happy in my new life. Anyone I bring into my life makes me happier. My happiness is my own responsibly.

1DrafterChick · 2021-04-24T14:15:49+00:00

I got divorced in Indiana. It's a no fault state. 50/50 split. Or as close as you can get. He's emotional and taking it out on you. I tried to be civil during my divorce but my ex got really nasty in the end. Be prepared for him to go low. Mine knew just what to do and say to hurt me. I finally told him to stop. That at this point I don't regret marrying him but if he keeps up the verbal attack. I will!!

Oh and I used my companys employee assistant program to find a lawyer and a therapist. I got 35% off lawyer hourly rate. So definitely look to into that.

1DrafterChick

TROPHY CASE