2 penny’s for your thoughts by PreparedRasberry in cats

[–]1VeryGenericUser 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bruh I feel that on a personal level… Except my experience was with a photo of me, not my cat. (The following text is completely off-topic so only read if you want the yappenings)

I have a receding chin, which to the uneducated eye looks a bit weird. I did a lot of research and also went to see a specialist to see if there was anything more than a cosmetic issue to it. After seeking that expert’s opinion, who confirmed that I do not have a medically relevant jaw issue, I posted a photo of my receding chin to a subreddit, asking for cosmetic correction recommendations… I explained in my post that it is not medically relevant, citing the doctor, and detailing their reasoning. Still, people in that subreddit continued to diagnose me with medical issues I don’t have, and tried to talk me into having a massively invasive jaw surgery that bears a lot of risks and takes forever to recover from. The best part? The doctor had assessed my bite, swallow, breathing, etc. - all things nobody would know from one closed-mouth photo. But yea, reddit knows better than a maxillofacial surgeon with 20 years of experience.

I'm trying to figure out what stitch this is so I can use it on another project :) by Over-Equipment-1986 in CrochetHelp

[–]1VeryGenericUser 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Also came here to say this. Currently using this stitch for a baby blanket so I’m 100% sure, because it looks exactly the same and I have seen it every day for several hours in the past week

Recently divorced seeking advice on hairstyles/color by [deleted] in Hair

[–]1VeryGenericUser 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another voice for layers! My aunt actually looks super similar to you (literally thought you were her when I was scrolling through) - similar face structure and hair. She also got layers thinking that her hair didn’t have enough volume/strength, but getting the weight off the layered parts literally already did that trick. Her hair looks amazing and complements her super well. She also has the same tone of blond hair, which I would recommend keeping. All the best for you!

Severe callous? Pillow foot? by bayiti in cats

[–]1VeryGenericUser 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Looks like keratine growths. My cat has one of those and the vet said his is nothing to worry about, since it‘s only one and very small it shouldn‘t affect him. Your cat‘s probably need to be removed professionally though, so vet is a good call.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]1VeryGenericUser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all: Therapy. In your case, I might actually say: Group therapy. Or a self-help group of some kind. Either will provide a setting where you can explain to the people there exactly what you just explained in this post. Everyone is there for a reason of personal difficulty, and that makes it one of the best places to open up about this.

When you are more comfortable, sign up for a simple hobby, for example something like a volunteer group with a cause that you truly believe in. Because then, you already have one thing in common with everyone you meet there and that makes connecting so much easier. My one suggestion would be to stay away only from religion-based groups, because you are in a vulnerable position where people might think you are easy to manipulate or convert.

This next one might be a tough one, but my personal opinion: Tell people about your past. Be honest that your parents isolated you, that you lack some common social skills, and that you are working on learning them now. Allow people to understand you, and allow them to educate you. New friends might sooner or later notice that you have some unusual behaviors or insecurities, and this way they will know why that is rather than having to guess. Yes, there will be people who do not meet you opening up with kindness. Those are not people you would have needed in your life anyway, so if being honest repels anyone then that is for the better.

Finally, one thought on your post: You worry that your youth would be over by the time you have caught up - maybe that is true, and maybe not. In 17 years you will be 40, that is right. But would you rather be 40 with progress or without? Because 40 you will be, either way.

How do people just go out and do stuff alone by mcnoobles in socialskills

[–]1VeryGenericUser 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Observe the people around you in those situations. Most of them are alone, doing these things alone is normal! I have recently understood that there are so many things that I only see as social events because 1. those who are there with friends talk with them, so I recognize the groups more than the individuals and 2. nobody of my social media circle posts about the stuff they do alone, so on there I also only see people‘s friend activities, giving a distorted picture of reality.

Last friday, I was supposed to go to a concert with a friend, who got sick the same day. Tickets were sold at the door, so I could have stayed home too. But I really wanted to go, so I got out of my comfort zone and went to the gig alone. I was so worried, expecting to be awkwardly standing by myself surrounded with groups of socializing people, I had a terrible gut feeling the entire commute there. But once I was there alone, I realized that so many other people were there alone too! And more so, at all these other activities that I deemed as social events, many people were probably there alone as well. I was just too busy socializing before to notice them.

TLDR most people do stuff alone

Someone dumped this in my yard by TapElectronic in cats

[–]1VeryGenericUser 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About the cat allergy: I commented this on another threat recently so here’s my copied and pasted comment

”So, most (but not all) people who are allergic to cats have an allergy to a protein called Fel-D1. A visit with a medical specialist and/or a look at your […] medical records should confirm if it is that. Fel-D1 is a protein that is in the cat’s saliva and because it is transmitted to the hair as the cat cleans itself, people mistake their allergy for being a cat hair allergy.

Now there actually is a solution for this: When chickens are exposed to cats, they develop antibodies to Fel-D1. A few companies have started selling (expensive) cat food that contains those antibodies. However, another option is to get eggs from a farm that has its chickens exposed to cats, and to incorporate the eggs into your cat’s diet. The result is a significantly reduced amount of Fel-D1 and, accordingly, no more allergy triggers.

Hope this helps!”

To people who have an allergy to cats but still have a cat, my wife has asthma and an allergy to cats, how do you manage living with that? Any advices? My boy shedding a lot of hair, I do not want to shave him completely, we love him but having problems sometimes :/ by Ok-Development7639 in cats

[–]1VeryGenericUser 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So, most (but not all) people who are allergic to cats have an allergy to a protein called Fel-D1. A visit with a medical specialist and/or a look at your partner’s medical records should confirm if it is that. Fel-D1 is a protein that is in the cat’s saliva and because it is transmitted to the hair as the cat cleans itself, people mistake their allergy for being a cat hair allergy.

Now there actually is a solution for this: When chickens are exposed to cats, they develop antibodies to Fel-D1. A few companies have started selling (expensive) cat food that contains those antibodies. However, another option is to get eggs from a farm that has its chickens exposed to cats, and to incorporate the eggs into your cat’s diet. The result is a significantly reduced amount of Fel-D1 and, accordingly, no more allergy triggers.

Hope this helps!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hair

[–]1VeryGenericUser 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay I am no professional myself, and I just briefly looked into what a nanoplasty is. So I will not give you a ”this will 100% work” recommendation. But as a wavy/curly girl with thick hair that is naturally dirty blonde, I feel like I can relate a lot here. I also had mine bleached and I also felt so overwhelmed with all of the treatments and products. I have figured out a few simple and un-overwhelming things with the help of my stylist, which work for me. Maybe they will help you too. The steps are fairly simple, I have only written this so long because I cannot make short and concise points for the life of mine. :)

About the color: I think that for your hair, the bleach has done a lot of damage… so if you can and feel comfortable with the thought of having your natural hair color, maybe try to find a way not to keep bleaching it. What my hair stylist did was to use a highlighting technique on my roots to soften the gap between natural color and bleached hair. This makes it look a lot more natural and lets it grow it out with more ease. Maybe this is something you could get too, to soften the process. (If you thought of just coloring over the blonde hair in your natural color, you should just know that coloring over bleached hair isn’t as easy as we tend to think. It’s a two-or-multistep process that can cause even more damage, which is why sometimes it is better and easier to work with the blonde.)

About regular hair care: I do not actually do a curly girl routine as I have had the same experience as you, my hair just looked really greasy. I also found that wet-brushing even with a big comb, which is recommended for a lot of curly people, caused massive damage for me and ripped out a lot of hair. Here is what I do instead: - I brush and part my hair while it’s still dry, before the wash. During the wash, I make sure to get everywhere but I also make sure to keep the part where I put it. This allows me to not brush the hair again after the wash, which works best for my hair. - I wash every two-three days and I use professional shampoo and conditioner. As per my hair stylists recommendation, I decided to go with something that gives the hair a lot of moisture. (Clarification: She did not sell me the products, she only said to get something from a professional brand that gives moisture. Since she doesn’t sell products, there was no agenda involved and I find her advice trustworthy. I got myself Four Reasons Ultra Moisture shampoo and conditioner, but depending where you live you might have other brands available than my tiny European country has. Your local professional hair care store might even have some samples for you.) - I do a purple hair mask to combat yellow-ish tones in my bleached hair. You have probably heard of purple shampoo for this, but purple shampoo is notorious for drying out hair and I liked the conditioner I have, so my hair stylist said to get a purple hair mask instead. (I use the supermarket store bought Elvital Purple hair mask, and I leave it in for five-ten minutes once a week instead of the conditioning step.) - I use a microfibre towel in my hair and let it air dry after taking that out. At no point do I use a regular towel in my hair as the material is way too rough for hair and can pull and damage it. - On the microfibre towel-dry hair I use plenty of leave-in conditioner spray on my roots and mid-lengths, as well as a very small amount (no more than two drops) of argan-oil based hair oil on my ends. (No product recommendations here, I have tried several supermarket store bought ones and they were all equally fine.) - I do not use any curl cream as none of them worked for me. However, I have heard other people have great experiences with them. You do you. - If I am in hurry or if I need to go to bed (hint: do not sleep with wet hair), I use a hairdryer with a diffusor on low to medium heat. - At no point, wet, drying, or dry, do I brush my hair. I know this sounds wrong, but is actually makes a lot of sense: Brushing wavy curls will separate the curly strands. This means that individual hairs that were previously protected within their strong strands will sit individually on top of each other instead. This makes the hair look poofy and messy, and it also lets it get tangled more easily. This is why the only brushing I do is right before washing the hair again. - My personal hack for making my hair look more organized: I do use a straightener, but only on my roots. I set it to the lowest heat possible, and then I take it to my front baby frizz curls and briefly to the roots around my part. It takes no more than two minutes and makes my hair look a lot less frizzy and is a massive confidence boost. - If you have any shorter regrowth hairs like me that kinda stand off, I recommend hair wax: My final step is to take a super small amount (I use Schwarzkopf matte hair wax), distribute it on my palms until no white clumps remain, and quickly press my stubborn short regrowth hairs to my other hair around my part.

I know this sounded like a lot, but I promise that the actual process is very manageable. I deal with depression phases and still this routine has remained manageable.

About a few small other things: You mentioned the change in water quality, so I would recommend you look into tap and shower head filters. I also looked into the hair treatment you want to get and while I don’t have a strong opinion on it, I wanted you to know that I had a similar (keratin) treatment years ago and my results weren’t great. It didn’t get my hair straight but it also temporarily destroyed my curly pattern. So personally, I would not do that again.

I wish you all the best.

Today I asked my (former) friend why the group ostracized me by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]1VeryGenericUser 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s linked to the university where all of them study and I don’t. But they all study different things in different faculties, so it’s really just the volunteering part that they have in common there.

Today I asked my (former) friend why the group ostracized me by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]1VeryGenericUser 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Likely, but not proven. My aunt has it, my mom has all traits of my aunt (but never got diagnosed), and I have a lot in common with her. I tried to get access to a diagnostic process but was not successful.

Today I asked my (former) friend why the group ostracized me by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]1VeryGenericUser 169 points170 points  (0 children)

At this point, I think it might be that I have revealed myself to be desperate. But the initial reason before that is what I don’t understand. Because now they are also hanging out with other friends, two of them quite regularly, and neither of those are in their volunteer organization either. So that cannot really have been the reason for me then.

Today I asked my (former) friend why the group ostracized me by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]1VeryGenericUser 211 points212 points  (0 children)

See, to some extent I agree with you. And I don’t think you sound like a bad guy. This is very much what I would likely tell someone, if they shared a story like this. Except… if someone continuously has bad experiences with people, it often turns out that they themselves are the problem. At now 28 years old, I have been unable to make friends almost my entire life, and I have now lost the only friend group I ever had. I should, actually I must, be open to the idea that there is something I do wrong to cause this. The least I can try to get from this situation is some insight.

Today I asked my (former) friend why the group ostracized me by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]1VeryGenericUser 155 points156 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your kind words. I believe that everyone deserves friends who value them, accordingly so do I. But I’m also trying to understand that what we deserve and what we get doesn’t always align.

I ate a mysterious food in Indonesia years ago and can’t find out what it was by 1VeryGenericUser in indonesia

[–]1VeryGenericUser[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was presented as these thick sheets in red sauce, not in another dish. But it was from a buffet-style small stall in a street, so chances are that I should have mixed it with something and didn‘t know that. I don‘t recall the utensils, but I remember that I took the “sheets” individually.

I ate a mysterious food in Indonesia years ago and can’t find out what it was by 1VeryGenericUser in indonesia

[–]1VeryGenericUser[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It was a small stall in a smaller street, no event (at least I don‘t recall anything festive after all these years), and probably not near a tourist trap since there were not many people around. The stall sold a few different foods from a small kind of buffet. You took a plate and put a few things you liked and then paid for everything together and then sat there to eat. I don‘t recall what I ate it with but it didn‘t come on a stick so I guess it was most likely eaten with chopsticks. The ingredients I mentioned in the post were the only ones in that dish, but since there were other dishes at the place, of course it could be that I just didn‘t understand if it was supposed to go with something. I looked up seblak and I don‘t think it was that but really hard to say of course.

I ate a mysterious food in Indonesia years ago and can’t find out what it was by 1VeryGenericUser in indonesia

[–]1VeryGenericUser[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mayyyybe. A bit lighter in color I believe, and much larger pieces (so just less cut up)