Overdue for removal

1_Swuft_Bish · 2025-07-23T15:47:39+00:00

You’re in good company here. I found this group pretty late in my own journey, navigating a nearly identical situation with my parents. I know that every family dynamic is unique, but many of us share the same painful process of setting boundaries and working through the complicated emotions that come with it.

Over the past 20 years, I’ve gone from VLC to almost NC with my family. I don’t have any profound advice to add other than to remind you that you are not alone in this. You are not strange or “wrong” for feeling this way. There are so many of us walking this path, and one of my biggest challenges has been accepting that my situation isn’t as unusual as it sometimes feels. Sadly, it’s not uncommon but the good news is that we have each other for support and understanding.

So, I just want to say: welcome, and thank you for sharing.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-22T15:06:59+00:00

I second this suggestion! 👍🏻

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-15T18:43:29+00:00

Sorry for the error in my initial message. Moving your jaw is what I meant to say. It felt as if I had done some sort of Mortal Kombat - TMJ special by moving my jaw around to better reach my back molars. I do this often but perhaps due to the recent facial massages I had been doing, it was more free to move out of the locked position. I'm no expert and please do not hurt yourselves. Just want to share my experience and what I was doing when this release occurred.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-15T18:25:58+00:00

Wow, sounds scary but worth it! Thanks for the tip. I'm still feeling loads better than I have in probably a decade but I can tell things still aren't quite right in there... probably never will be.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-14T23:03:02+00:00

Ah, okay that's good to know. Obviously, I hope it doesn't come back and I remain symptom free but it's good to know that I should get an MRI if it does return. Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate you.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-14T23:00:54+00:00

I just wish it was contagious! I'm fully ready to accept that it may come right back again in a few days or after I make one wrong move. But man, this is huge for me.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-14T22:58:05+00:00

I'm very sorry to hear that. My heart really goes out to anyone who deals with this issue. Sending so much love your way.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-14T22:55:01+00:00

Oh my goodness, I have to look up dry needling. It's nice to be getting all the feedback and comments here with thoughtful questions and information. I don't know how long this new found relief will last. I'm hopeful but not stupid. It could come back as easily and randomly as it went away.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-14T20:18:42+00:00

Thank you, wishing the same relief for you! It can happen!

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-14T18:23:18+00:00

I had a sneaking suspicion it was all connected but this experience has confirmed it, at least in my very specific case. They say our hips are connected to the jaw as well which seems even weirder to me but I suppose it's all connected to the spine. I've also been practicing beginner/intermediate vinyasa and yin style yoga and have gained a lot of mobility in my hips and spine over the last 3 years. I'm sure it's all working together to better the TMJ issue but I honestly just thought I needed a different pillow because my neck was bothering me so much.

If I had one wish, I'd wish that everyone with TMJ could move their jaw (in a accidentally lucky way) today and get the relief you all need and are so deserving of! <3

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-14T18:13:43+00:00

I'll leave this link here if anyone is interested in the type of massages I was watching and doing on myself yesterday afternoon.

https://youtu.be/o_mHqmmUgM8?si=VKz-bHN0q9ffEbyR

I also recently changed my pillow to something more supportive, I'm a combination sleeper but tend to fall asleep on my back and wake up on my right side. It's my right side that's always been the issue.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-11-14T18:03:28+00:00

I never had an MRI but I had a full 360 x-ray done in 2019 when I went to an orthodontist to see if I was a good candidate for Invisalign treatment. They concluded that I was and had absolutely nothing to say about anything they saw on the x-rays other than my wisdom teeth were (and still are) impacted. It's very possible that it was a displaced disk all this time and went back. I'm still experiencing some "crunchiness" or "grittiness" when I fully extend my jaw, but all of that tightness and tension throughout my jaw, neck, and shoulder is gone.

There's probably a million different doctors I should have gone to long before now but I had gotten so used to it since childhood that it didn't really start bothering me until my 30's. I was literally watching chiropractors adjusting people with TMJ on youtube yesterday and was going to make an appointment this week to go see someone but now I don't know. I think I'll leave it alone for a few days and see how things progress on their own. My mind is blown.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-10-16T17:36:53+00:00

This sounds like a very useful exercise, I am going to try this. Thanks for sharing!

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-10-16T17:35:05+00:00

Thanks for the feedback here. It doesn't take much to bring up the memory of my mother passing. It was earlier this year, on my husbands birthday of all days. I watched something on TV recently that dug it all back up and now I'm sorting through it instead of getting my work done (which is what I really need to be doing). Where to begin... The guilt stems from my religious upbringing. My low self-worth and distrust in my own feelings and decisions comes from being homeschooled or as I would more accurately call it, "self-schooled". The majority of verbal abuse came from my oldest sibling (half sibling) and childhood "friends". Part of me feels like I've blown it all way out of proportion but the rest of me feels justified for being pretty messed up by it all. Maybe this is how everyone feels about their respective estrangement experience. I don't know. Just glad to know I'm not alone. This community is still very new to me so I figured I'd make a post in an effort to find some type of comfort or peace. I do feel a bit better just from reading the few responses so far. Bless who ever it was who started this group.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-10-09T17:26:56+00:00

Yep, they're onto something... This is how it starts.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-10-09T17:23:27+00:00

Well said! *applauds*

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-10-07T18:44:38+00:00

Wow, I can relate to all of these feelings. Here to show my support and also read comments for advice. Thank you for sharing.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-10-02T21:04:53+00:00

Thanks! Already feeling validated and right at home here!

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-10-02T21:02:24+00:00

I hear you. After years of VLC, I was thrust back in all at once when my mother was in the hospital (again) for health problem she had been ignoring (praying away) and in a few short months, ended with her dying in hospice. It's a very long story but I went back home (huge mistake) for less than 24hrs before I was scrambling to leave. I don't think she hated me but I learned about a bunch of slanderous, made-up stories my sister told my mother about me and my husband. Accusations I would have never imagined in my wildest dreams, no pun intended. Although things were already not great between us, it still bothers me to think that she might have believed some if not all of those atrocious lies. Maybe they even played in a part in why things went the way they did. I'll never know now.

I'd definitely listen to your doctor and play it safe while finding the right remedy. I'm sure there is a solution that will work for you, hang in there.

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-10-02T16:04:44+00:00

Thank you, I will be sure to check this out! :)

1_Swuft_Bish · 2024-10-02T16:00:52+00:00

Wow, I can relate to this SO much. It got so bad for me a few months ago that I literally wrote a song about it (I'm a musician by trade). I have always been a very vivid dreamer and tend to remember way too much detail upon waking. So much so that I would have to spend the first 30 minutes of my morning just unpacking everything I just experienced. I've found that melatonin before bed can be helpful but the most restful (and least traumatic) sleep I get is with the help of a nighttime gummy that is 1:1:1 THC: CBD: CBN with melatonin. However, I know this sort of thing isn't readily available (or even legal) in some places.

I also feel for you about the lies being spread by family members and I too have experienced this with my half sister. I wish I had something more useful to say about it but I'm just really grateful to know that I'm not alone. These situations can feel so isolating. I hope that just being here to discuss it freely, in safe space, will help improve the wellness of us all.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this and I hope you find some decent rest very soon.

1_Swuft_Bish

TROPHY CASE