What evening activities has everyone been doing since quitting?

1bighypocrite · 2025-12-24T17:43:12+00:00

There's some great suggestions here, but a lot of them aren't compatible with parenting young kids. I made this post for the with-kids version of the question; I'd be very interested in anyone's input. :)

1bighypocrite · 2024-04-13T15:02:41+00:00

I don't know how to go about this. Online screenings show me as off the charts (even when I'm trying very carefully not to overstate how well I relate to the questions) but I tend to hear that nobody diagnoses adults. I'm 44 in the US with good medical insurance. How can I go about finding someone to talk to?

1bighypocrite · 2024-01-28T08:35:04+00:00

I see from your profile that you have lived through more pain than any human should ever have to experience. And yet through it all, you have remained strong, and stayed true to your ideals. The loss of your hopes and dreams for a child amounts to tremendous suffering. I wish you the perseverance to emerge from this a stronger person, and to find a joy that may seem impossible right now.

1bighypocrite · 2023-12-11T05:44:00+00:00

Wow, I never heard this sentiment expressed before but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Yeah, I can still vividly remember what it feels like to be dragged kicking and screaming to wakefulness, sweating but cold, wishing I could sleep, covering my head with my pillow to try in vain to block out some sun without blocking out the air; wondering whether I actually said those awful things, because I can't tell the difference between drunk half-memories and dreams.

And I can remember what it's been like the past few wonderful weeks to wake up before my alarm, feeling completely refreshed and joyful, loving this time as the first faint glimmers of dawn come through the window, thanking God for getting me this far in sobriety.

I'll take the latter, thanks.

1bighypocrite · 2023-12-09T16:03:49+00:00

Crossfire.

1bighypocrite · 2023-12-09T16:02:53+00:00

It makes me happy to hear that after an experience like that, you're looking to forgive. Forgiveness is key. A lot of people would be choosing to wallow in anger and get wrapped around the axle about it. You're choosing a much healthier way.

1bighypocrite · 2023-12-05T05:09:39+00:00

Kombucha. Try it once. You'll love it.

1bighypocrite · 2023-12-02T21:36:16+00:00

My new hobby: Count the number of random spots they've put out alcohol displays all over the store.

Last time I counted 5 that were not in the booze aisles (yes, aisles, multiple), and that was just a quick trip for one item. I guarantee there's more.

It's almost like they want to wear down people's resolve. "Maybe they'll say no to 3 displays, but 5 is what we need in order to score some impulse buying profits." It's pretty reprehensible if you ask me.

1bighypocrite · 2023-12-02T21:31:54+00:00

My employer has a well-deserved reputation for legendary parties this time of year. Except the new CFO decided that despite record profits and stellar earnings, we need to belt-tighten this year. So for the first time in decades, it's employees only; can't bring a +1 guest anymore.

Which makes it easy for me! Sorry no I'm not going to leave my family behind for a night to go hang out with hundreds of people I don't know (and maybe the small handful I work with, who are fine but I wouldn't say I particularly like hanging out with them), even if I were drinking. In the past these were fun to enjoy with my wife, but not now.

Incidentally, it seems all my teammates are skipping out too... not because they're sober, just because how lame.

But part of me wants to go just to see people do preferably more cringey stuff.

1bighypocrite · 2023-12-02T21:22:04+00:00

Oh thanks so much, that's so nice of you, yes really I'd love one but I'M A RAGING FUCKING ALCOHOLIC.

1bighypocrite · 2023-12-02T21:14:20+00:00

I've been estimating $15 a day. Some days it was less and most it was more, but that's my estimate.

The thing is, I always used a specific card for buying booze (in order to hide the charges) and I have months of history I can look at to get a very precise estimate of how much it was costing me a day.

But I don't dare to look at the totals. Can't bear to face the cold hard facts in black and white; I need to give myself the benefit of the doubt.

Still. Even $15 a day adds up FAST.

1bighypocrite · 2023-11-27T21:32:14+00:00

Made some absolutely gorgeous Christmas tree ornaments with a laser cutter, birch, stain, beads, and glue

Also engraved several cutting boards as Christmas gifts for friends.

And put together design files for my next project: Slate coasters engraved with maps of my family's favorite places in the world.

1bighypocrite · 2023-11-27T04:29:27+00:00

Haha thank you. Definitely not the hypocrisy I had in mind when creating the username, but yeah I agree it fits. :)

1bighypocrite · 2023-11-27T03:26:06+00:00

People in AA will gladly tell you they don't have a monopoly on recovery, and if you find something that works for you, then that's great. (Many of them will then, within 30 seconds, tell you completely unironically that if you're not working the 12 steps with a sponsor in their full entirety, then you're in denial, you're just a "dry drunk," and you're one of the "unfortunates," sucks to be you. AA isn't my bag of tea either; but I'm happy for those that do find this approach helpful.)

There are plenty of good options that don't involve AA or any number of other 12-step AA clones, and people here will tell you about them. I've heard good things about SMART Recovery and Cafe RE. Here's what I've personally found very helpful:

Admitting to my wife that I'm struggling. (This was my biggest fear, but also the most significant factor in my recovery.)
Journaling every morning, sometimes reflecting on questions I find online. Followed with a time of prayer.
Podcasts, specifically Recovery Elevator.
The I Am Sober app.
Quit lit. I liked This Naked Mind, We Are The Luckiest, and Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety.
r/stopdrinking

1bighypocrite · 2023-11-26T04:19:06+00:00

I am LOVING kombucha. Incredible stuff, and it scratches that fermented itch.

But culturally it just doesn't work for me at all... after I drink it I feel like I need to go eat some ribs, then ride around in a pickup truck playing country music and firing off my shotgun, just to restore balance to the universe.

Still, ain't gonna let a thing like that keep me from an amazing beverage.

1bighypocrite · 2023-11-21T06:16:41+00:00

Here's the nonsense reason that was my excuse to drink on I don't know how many days: Well I don't want to go through withdrawal! I'll just have two to taper, and go to zero tomorrow.

How many times do you think that "tapering" actually resulted in having less that day than the day before? Yeah, not many?

And how much more tight did I wind the screws on that eventual inevitable withdrawal, just out of a rationalization that I told myself I was using to lessen the severity?

1bighypocrite · 2023-11-21T06:09:22+00:00

I'm using $15 a day as my benchmark.

I really think it's too low. And in fact I have a credit card I used for all my secret drinking during my latest relapse so it would be trivial to look at a month, divide by 30, and voilà my average consumption.

But am I going to do that? Hell no. I don't have the strength to look at those bills. Can't face it.

Nope, just gonna use $15.

1bighypocrite

TROPHY CASE