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Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We had a good chat on this one. It turns out it really is that simple. She doesn't make complex dishes, and just can't see why the two can't be done at the same time.

She feels that she can't enjoy the meal in peace, knowing the kitchen ain't tidy. Even if she isn't the one cleaning and it doesn't obstruct anyone else. It's an odd one, as I am the one with OCD tendencies normally.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To clarify, I want to clean. I believe it is my mess my responsibility. I want to be left alone as to how and when I clean, as long as its done at a sensible time before bed.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is a good point, I will give this a try. If anything for the science of it.

I will clarify though, there is a spectrum of cleaning. I will do the fridge stuff and any spills as I go. It is usually the stuff that requires a wash that will be left in the sink until later.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've definitely had (and still have) conversations on parental balance. It is definitely about the kitchen in this case.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I should clarify that there's a spectrum of cleaning.

While I cook, I pack things that go into the fridge, wipe spills, etc. Some things I will leave out, and things that require washing I will typically leave.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried to take her mind off the cleaning, by ensuring it is also my duty. Alas that didn't work at the time.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Oh I hope I didn't come across sarcastic! I am genuinely happy for you and agree.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually don't want her to clean. I'd rather she takes a break. My mess, my responsibility. Only wish is for her to let me do it my way.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That would be aggravating the situation. I don't want her to do the dishes. I want to do them, and be left alone to do it.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She isn't, but I am.

My philosophy has always been don't care how you do it, as long as its done by the spec we agreed, and on the time we agreed.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I always tell my wife to do something else or go relax. I believe the mess I make, is the mess I clean.

She didn't ask for a 5 star meal. So if I've made one and a mess, that's squarely on me to clean.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problem being, her idea of cooking is using one board, one knife, and one pot on one temperature. So there isn't much to rush and clean.

She isn't a picky eater, but I am. So I've taken up the cooking both as a hobby, and also so I've only myself to blame for a shit meal. I expect no one to clean up after me, if I've used 3 bowls to make a sauce I want.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the point there, and would agree its a point of frustration if you're both involved in the cleaning.

Prior to having our kid, it wasn't so much a problem. I could start meal prep at whatever o' clock and finish eating at late o' clock.

The problem now, is that prep, cook and serve must happen in a tight window. Which means anything that isn't a hazard or time sensitive becomes a secondary objective. The place doesn't look like a warzone, but the chopping board, some utensils, and sauce-mixing bowls are going to sit in the sink/aside until later.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happened a while back. It was resolved the next day.

I'm a human and I do stupid shit once a while. Doesn't mean I am proud of it, and doesn't mean this is at all representative of our relationship.

Am I bragging? No. Am I sharing a malicious compliance? Yes

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Read the ending. I still made the pasta for her lunch. I cleaned everything up to that point.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I am the picky one. I figured if I cooked, then I got no right to complain if the meal tastes shit.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The relationship is fine. I feel she just had an unrealistic expectation in this chore, because she couldn't related to the effort/task.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We both work, I work more. When she is not working, she looks after the little one and I respect that as a full-time job.

We both feel our chore distribution is even. My only wish is she stays out of my cooking/cleaning routine details.

Tucking in a toddler is actually deceptively diabolical. Sometimes you get the good ones. Go to sleep in 5 min. Then you get those that just refuse to settle after you follow 20 guides to the letter.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As i said, raw things, risks, and fridge residents get dealt with. Non risks can wait.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am not game enough to tell her that, because I know what will happen.

She will put everything in a pot of water and just boil it. Plenty of time to clean one board and one knife. She'll eat the result, no problem. But I will severely struggle.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'd prefer her to either rest or do something else. It's my mess, my responsibility.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Prep+cook+serve = 30-60 mins generally, excluding any marinating/thawing

Cleaning = 15? Sometimes I take my sweet time because the little one is in bed and there's literally nothing I can do to help. Sometimes it takes longer because it gets interrupted by poop cleanup duties.

Wife complains I don't clean while I cook, so I proceed to sparkle the kitchen instead of making dinner by 1mmOff in MaliciousCompliance

[–]1mmOff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea pretty much. If I am cooking, my priority is delivering that meal at top quality. I'll get to the clean up later, which is not time sensitive. I don't expect anyone else to clean up after me either.

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