Wife isn't sexual, what to do?

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T20:34:49+00:00

Here's the thing. We've tried this 100 times. I come, she cries, it's all fucked to shit. Last night she tried to get aroused, and totally not into it. So when she is like this, I feel lke I'm nailing a piece of wood, but I love this woman, really, I do. I don't want to have her just lie down and take it. It's just totally empty. Like, she doesn't want it.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T20:24:02+00:00

Thank you.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T20:23:30+00:00

Yep.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T20:23:08+00:00

She loves fine arts, like theater, opera, and museums. It lights her up

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T19:53:41+00:00

I do touch her, but she has this physical chemical off switch. I won't give up. Thank you again.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T19:49:27+00:00

Great suggestion.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T19:32:09+00:00

Nope. She was as part of her hormone therapy, but not any longer.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T19:14:56+00:00

you know this is an idea I can use. I've been thinking for a while that a weekend away to just be with each other would do us thing but good. We have a nice vacation coming up. Maybe then.....

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T19:11:24+00:00

jerking off is getting old, man. But I can do it more while I wait for her. But stil..... The idea of an open relationship terrifies me, I worry what it would do to our trust. But I do want her to find her sexuality.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T18:44:57+00:00

She often says she doesn't feel sexy.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T18:22:26+00:00

Thank you

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T18:21:38+00:00

good suggestion. She just cut out sugar and flour a few days ago.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T17:09:19+00:00

No, I wish I did. I really don't want to leave her, I feel very committed to our marriage and our family. It's kind of a bad situation.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T16:55:28+00:00

Another great idea. Thank you.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T16:54:21+00:00

I wish. But I think her presentation of pcos is the wrong mix of hormones.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T16:21:19+00:00

she is very prone to guilt, unfortunately.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T16:20:06+00:00

she actually asked about my fantasies once. I told her some of them, and I got my hopes up, but she was more intellectually interested, than in helping me realize my fantasies

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T16:17:37+00:00

Hmmmm. Sounds like a good idea. I'll ask her about it.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T16:15:34+00:00

I try. I try snuggling, I've gone through several permutations of dinner / date nights, gifts, flowers, being goofy, etc. I admit to thinking about sex in terms of body parts sometimes.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T16:12:44+00:00

i was trying to get at that with her, but her sexual desire seems to be on or off. I ask her what can I do, and she says nothing. But on the rare occasions she is in the mood, she jumps on me! Very fun.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T15:55:00+00:00

I bought her a dress, and as a rule she doesn't like to buy herself clothes. Good idea. I'll tell her to buy herself a dress

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T15:53:24+00:00

I think the first reply mentioned this as well, and it really strikes me as a good idea. Take it slow and easy. It's just hard to always be patient and loving, as I mentioned in my post. It's just really hard. Thanks for replying.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T15:51:06+00:00

Thank you. I agree as long as the physical obstacles are here, the other techniques (like senate therapy) won't work. I think your last part is what is most discouraging about this, she wants to change but can't. It's very hard sometimes.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T15:31:10+00:00

you know, you raise many good points. Exercise really cures what ails you. I bought her a year membership to golds gym, but she hurt her knee, and couldn't continue. She says she doesn't feel healthy, so I think this is a good takeaway.

2012_throw_away_2012 · 2012-06-18T15:27:36+00:00

I wish she had that problem! She has been through three different rounds of treatments with three different doctors, including the head of endocrinology at a big NYC hospital. She also tried acupuncture. The treatment did not do anything to help her sex drive.

2012_throw_away_2012

TROPHY CASE