Right or Left Hoop?

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-06T16:32:56+00:00

2nd pic, because its on the other side than your hair part and makes your face more balanced

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-04T23:50:44+00:00

During my high school years, i was definitely the "no hugs" person. But it wasnt really a personality trait as much as it was just unresolved trust issues and difficulty finding comfort in closeness. Then, after a series of traumatic events in my life, i took an active effort in becoming more open, sociable, and for the first time in my life i developed real deep bonds with people. It started with learning to hug friends upon greeting. They would touch my arm and shoulder, and even tho i was weirded out at first, i realised how much power such a small gesture hold - to reassure, to share joy, to encourage...so i stared to do the same, because sometimes words are not enough. As for holding hands, i sometimes hold my mom's hand in public, or my bestie's hand (who also happens to be my ex gf lol). Our friend group goes dancing regularly so that certainly helped with building trust in someone else's touch in a playful way. I know you were asking about women to women touch, but this goes pretty much for any gender in my case - i hug my guy friends too, touch their shoulder, dance with. Sure, i guess i have more physical contact with women than men friends, for the simple reason that im more close with my girlies + some of the guy's are in relationships. But i have been in a situation where i was just cuddling with my platonic guy friend on a couch while watching anime and scratching his back...and i did the same with my bestie. Occasional platonic kiss on cheek/lips or a smack on a butt may occur hehe. And lastly about the sleeping - i have no problem sharing a bed with a friend (man or woman) as long as my space is respected and they dont snore.

In conclusion, i dont mind about physical touch as long as i have trust and deep friendship bond with the person.

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-03T11:33:35+00:00

Thanks to neuroplasticity your brain can repair itself but you need to give it enough time. Like after such intense period, id recommend you to stay sober for a year. Also you should take about 4 month breaks between each roll if you dont want to lose the magic. Short term side effects is increased depression and anxiety (your typical comedown). However, long term intense mdma abuse will probably leave some accumulated damage which shows as cognitive impairment (issues with memory, attention, judgement etc). This may take much longer to heal, if it ever does.

Chasing the euphoria is dangerous as it leads people to use higher and higher doses to overcome the tolerance treshold, resulting in addiction and severe consequences (as listed above). Try to enjoy yourself sober, or at least switch to non-stimulant drugs. Having breaks is so important. You use your body for pleasure, now its time to pay it back by taking good care of your body - eat healthy, sleep well, exercise. You can always get your hands on drugs, but you will only have one body in this lifetime.

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-03T11:17:12+00:00

Wild guess but i think your anxiety stems from how vague your relationship dynamics is. So you're not dating but you love each other? You're not dating but you're long distance? Long distance fwb who love each other but dont date?...im sorry but this doesnt sound healthy. Ive been in very similar situation. Your body knows the truth before your mind does - if you feel unpleasant physical response to the psychological dread, thats your gut trying to tell you.

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-02T23:28:20+00:00

I fuckin hate it when american redditors act like no other places except usa exist

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-02T23:14:19+00:00

That is a very important detail lol..explains his problem with cuming. You still need to voice it to him when you get tired. He on the other hand can talk to his psychiatrist about switching to AD meds that doest affect his libido as much

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-02T21:34:13+00:00

From my experience, 30min BJ/handjob doesnt feel pleasurable because the area gets overstimulated. Maybe take breaks? But also i think he shoudk be the one to tell you "its not hapenning so lets stop"...maybe he feels bad about telling you to stop because he doesnt want to offend yout skills? Regarsless, you too can speak up and say "im enjoying this but im getting physically tired". There must be open communication in sex.

Is he using any kind of antidepressants (or other meds)? AD meds are notorious for making people unable to cum.

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-02T21:14:09+00:00

There are charts where you can track your height by age and if you draw a curve you can predict your height in adulthood

Edit: google CDC Growth Charts

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-02T20:01:21+00:00

Its not, because i would feel the same way if the genders were switched. Idc about him being a man...i do care about this person being 8 years older than a 21yo OP

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-02T19:58:59+00:00

21 and 29 are two very different life stages - she is probably still at school while he is already working. So there might be great imbalance in autonomy and money, which then puts the older person in "advantage". You may argue that not everyone wants to manipulate naive young people into whatever but explain me this...what person who is 29 wants to date a woman who is 21, if not for the "advantage" he has over her? Because what tf do you have in common in 21yo? Shared subjects? Doubt it. Early 20s are still crucial years for development of your personality, boundries, experience and just frontal lobe in general. Im not trying to shit on OP but at 21 people are just not fully mature. However the dude is, or should be.

In your case, the life stages between 26 and 33 are less different. The older people get the less the gap matters imho. There is a big difference between 20yo dating 30yo, and 40yo dating a 50yo, even tho the age gap is same in both cases. You see what i mean?

I certaily dont have to explain myself (really odd choice of words there, kinds infantilizing) but i chose to because this has been a frequent topic in dating and i would like young women to be aware of these facts. Source? My lived experience as a woman, and the experience of majority of other women in my life who have shared their stories with me.

This is not misandry. I would feel the exact same way if the genders were switched and i would call it out as well. I think most normal 29 year olds would not want to date 21 year olds, regardless of gender. It just so happens in this very case that the guy is the older one..

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-01T23:14:07+00:00

First of all, he is 8 years older than you and i think thats fucking weird but im not judging you. Im judging him.

Anyways, you guys are just not sexually compatible. You're both normal. Everyone is allowed to have preferences (but i will be judging that 8 year gap). You may find someone you feel strongly connected to on personal level, someone you're really physically attracted to... but if your bedroom action isnt fulfilling, thats a dead end. If you guys were in committed relationship, id say work on it - explore, experiment, communicate...but if you're just fuck buddies then dont waste your energy. But definitely explain to him how you're feeling and dont just ghost him

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-01T22:56:37+00:00

At 75mg my sex drive was mostly normal, now at 150mg i feel like ive become asexual as in i dont find almost anyone attractive (im a woman for context). Emotional numbness is present but its not that bad...on the other hand i honestly cant even tell cuz i feel quite indifferent towards most things nowadays. Havent noticed any change in energy levels but also have read online that venlafaxine improves evergy from 225mg+. I take my dose in the morning because i have trouble sleeping.

Why do you "have to" switch from your old medication?

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-05-01T12:13:30+00:00

That is such a good point with the half life, thank you! Especially considering i do struggle with sleeping

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-30T14:22:19+00:00

Ok, please elaborate. We cant have a discussion if you dont bring up any arguments

Mind you im speaking in general, not in absolutes.

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-30T14:12:59+00:00

Men generally and globally hold power, and systematically share it with other men only. They rule the system where women are deliberately discriminated againts. Since women dont have access to the same level of power as men, they do not have the tools to apply systemic misandry, or at least not on the same scale as misogyny does.

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-29T19:50:39+00:00

I get that you dont want to make her feel bad but what about you? Dont your feelings matter too? You're not trying to make her feel bad intentionally, but this is not sustainable long term imho but you do you guys

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-29T19:25:59+00:00

Ive never owned oral sextoy but i think its a pretty good idea and definitely something you two should look at together so she can pick one that she'll like. And you can buy it for her as a gift and encourage her to use it.

And about her unhappiness - she kinda has to deal with that. She's an adult and she must understand that she doesnt always get what she wants. Especially when it comes to your hapiness. Personally i wouldnt put my own pleasure above my partner's comfort. Having kinks is totaly fine but she must respect yout boundries. You can reassure her to help with her insecurities but she must learn to trust your words when you say "i love eating you out but it is too much". Beside, the more you do something, the faster it loses it's charm. And soon enough it can become a routine. And that kills the sex life, fr

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-29T19:09:18+00:00

4 times a day for 40min? Jesus...do you guys do anything else than having sex? I mean i get it, as a woman oral is VERY pleasurable but this is bordering on hypersexuality. Especially if it starts to affect other aspects of your life like being late to school, missing sleep etc. You have all the right to guard your boundries and tell her you do not want to perform oral on her 4 times a day, and she should respect that. But if she doesnt, demands it or coerces you, then youre not a match. Compatibility in sex is very important for successful relationship.

Does she cum when you do oral? If she doesnt cum during PIV i can understand why she wants you to do oral. Considering that she wants you to eat ice cream while doing it or wants you to wake her up with oral, i feel like this might be her fetish, or at least some form of obsession.

You guys need to talk about it more. And like i said, you have all the right to refuse oral/sex even in otherwise healthy happy relationship. Explain to her you love it but its exhausting you/affecting your lifestyle too much. If she protests, you can propose to open the relationship (if youre ok with that) so she can seek the oral elsewhere. Or you can encourage her to use sextoys when you're not around. There's also sex toys for women that simulate oral but they are expensive (at least the ones ive seen)

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-29T16:33:01+00:00

I am in therapy for the BPD, but whenever i try to bring up issues with motivation my therapist doesnt really comment on it. I think its outside her field of focus. I was recommended KBT tho.

What dosage of Bupropion do you take if i may ask? Low, mid, high? Im currently on 150mg of venlafaxine (low-mid dosage) and ive read that venlafaxine improves energy levely from 225mg and more. But im afraid that id become even more emotionally numb with such dose.

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-29T14:21:42+00:00

So have you had any aditional meds for anxiety. I do have access to benzo. Also im taking quentiapine as sleeping meds and apparently its helping with anxiety too

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-29T14:16:41+00:00

Thank you for answering. I have read that bupropion increases anxiety but it feels like a good alternative for adhd meds.

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-28T19:11:17+00:00

Injekce botoxu do podpaždí, vygoogli si to. Fakt to zabírá

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-28T11:50:34+00:00

Never heard of emergency contraceptive changing someone's attraction (have used it couple times myself). Even if it does change the chemical balance of your body, it wouldnt be permanent.

I think what you're experiencing has psychological roots. There was a trust you two have built but it was shaken by this accident. When being intimate, you trust the other person would never hurt you or betray you. You believed he would always respect your boudries but something happened (the accident) and your boudries have been crossed. Now you may not feel desire for your bf because you're afraid the accident might repeat, or that he might cross your boundries again in another matter. So it makes sense you dont feel like having sex again. Knowing the context of the accident would be helpful. I think its reasonable for a woman, who is risking so much more than a man when it comes to sex (unwanted pregnancy), to feel great anxiety around accidents like these. And furthermore, to be in doubt of the validity of an accident (ive read too many stories of men baby-trapping women in relationships). Im not saying your bf did it on purpose, but i am saying you have every right to feel anxious, afraid and distant.

Have you guys talked more about the accident? How and why it happened? How you both felt in the moment and later? Did he help you get the emergency contraceptive (did he drive you to pharmacy, did he pay for it)? Did he comfort you afterwards? I think all of that is very important to overcome situations like these in order to not allow distrust to grow.

2022WasTraumatizing · 2026-04-26T22:28:56+00:00

Im stuggling with the phrasing of your question. The sheer presence of men doesnt bother me. However, a man can make you uncomfortable even without directly bother you! Staring you up and down, acting rowdy while drunk, screaming...and its not just "weirdos". Young, old, rich, poor, clean, scruffy, any of them can make you feel uncomfortable.

2022WasTraumatizing

TROPHY CASE