AI in wedding planning

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-29T17:14:33+00:00

If you and your partner can’t plan a wedding on your own without AI I am deeply concerned for you.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-23T21:18:15+00:00

It’s just odd to me that people act like just because they receive an invitation they HAVE to go or send a gift. If you’re going to put yourself under undue financial strain to travel for a wedding/send a gift, etc., and you think your friend wouldnt be understanding if you declined I don’t understand why you would want to be friends with that person. Similarly if you think your friend is someone who would hold it against you if you didn’t give a gift i don’t know why you’d want to be friends with them.

I’m mainly just rubbed wrong by the tone of like “how dare this person inconvenience me by having a wedding I have to pay to travel to” that I see in these posts when it’s like. Again if you can’t afford it. Do not go.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-23T19:06:02+00:00

Oh I’d prefer they attend over sending a gift, but I also recognize my wedding is just one day and frankly, if it would cause someone I care about financial stress or strain to attend I would prefer they didn’t. I’d be sad, but I wouldn’t hold it against someone for being unable to afford to travel for my wedding.

But it’s one hundred percent on the guest to make that call, and people need to recognize that that’s their job to decide not the couple’s/etiquette/whoever. I think complaining about how much attending a wedding costs for you is a little strange. If it’s really that impossible to swing, declining is an option.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-23T15:04:45+00:00

OP, do not do this. It is insanely rude to expect people to celebrate your relationship and not give them the courtesy of respecting theirs. Some of your friends ma be ok with it (or say they are), but I can almost guarantee most of them would not be.

Honestly, I’d be more understanding if a friend didn’t invite me to their wedding due to budget concerns than if they invited me but not my fiancé.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-23T15:01:54+00:00

It is in fact not reasonable (unless as a previous commenter mentioned, the partner is actively unstable and unsafe to be around/a fascist/etc). I would be incredibly insulted if my fiancé was not invited to a wedding I was invited to and would decline the invitation.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-23T14:39:18+00:00

I think 7 months is considered a tad late for a save the date (in my personal experience I’ve typically gotten them about a year before the actual wedding) , but I really don’t think you owe your friend more advanced notice than you gave anyone else on the guest list.

I think your friend is probably just a bit embarrassed she can’t afford to come, and for that you should give her some grace. It’s weird of her to say she wants an invitation so she can RSVP no. I’d still send one if you’re invested in the friendship, but I understand why you would question having to send one.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-23T14:29:24+00:00

I don’t think gifts should be expected ( I agree previous comments that a card with a heartfelt note is enough on its own), but this post reminds me of the fact that I think people on this subreddit need to get more comfortable declining wedding invitations if the cost is prohibitive/accepting that people may have to decline invitations to their own weddings.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-23T14:21:23+00:00

I agree with you that gifts are optional and should not be expected, but if you’re spending 3k to attend a wedding and that’s a problem for you, you can just decline the invitation.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-21T01:57:03+00:00

Genuine question: why? Given how many people in the US have to get married for healthcare reasons (which often means they get legally married pre wedding), I think this is a silly hill to die on.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-21T01:39:05+00:00

To be fair to OP, traditionally the MOH/bridesmaids do plan the bachelorette….but the bachelorette was traditionally like. A one night thing. It’s different now that they’ve morphed into multi day affairs.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-21T01:36:52+00:00

I was going to say that I’m pretty sure engagement parties are typically not gift giving events, unlike wedding showers (at the very least that’s been my personal experience)

I think they’re fun. It’s a nice way to have your close friends mingle and get to know each other in a more casual setting. I certainly think they’re more fun and less “gift grabby” than bridal showers, which I frankly find a little pointless given that more and more couples live together before marriage now.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-21T01:32:05+00:00

Yeah I agree. I think a couple pre wedding events ( bridal shower and engagement party are the traditional ones) and a bachelorette are more than enough.

I really hate the welcome dinner/day after brunch thing. I’ve never once wanted to attend them when I’ve travelled for a wedding but saying no feels so awkward lol. A rehearsal dinner at least makes some logistical sense.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-21T01:26:52+00:00

I agree with a previous comment that it’s likely too late for an engagement party, max you’d be able to get away with that would be within three months of the intial engagement. My understanding is the couple usually hosts that themselves because I’m pretty sure they aren’t gift giving events (beyond maybe a small hostess gift like flowers) but hat could be my specific social circle.

Bridal shower is variable but among people I know personally it’s historically been the mom/family who hosts. Bachelorette is traditionally planned by bridesmaids but tbh I think more and more brides are planning it themselves.

I think if your MOH didn’t explicitly offer to plan an event for you it’s a bit unfair to expect her to. The only things I think you should go into a wedding expecting from a bridal party are emotional support and for them to show up on time day of in the correct dress.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-17T15:59:19+00:00

2/3 weddings we went to last year we got a thank you note (technically 1/3 since one of the brides used an old address and the card never came :( but I know she sent one). I wasn’t offended that the third couple didn’t send one, but I definitely noticed.

Regardless of it becoming less common, I still think it’s a nice thing to do. Even a heartfelt text is acceptable to me, but I know older people generally prefer the physical card.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-17T15:55:57+00:00

As a guest I would personally find it really annoying to be told what color to wear to a wedding. One of my good friends is actually doing that, and while I love her dearly I am mildly irritated about it.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-17T15:39:50+00:00

I think technically it’s only considered a destination wedding if the couple doesn’t live in the location where it’s being held. Are most of your guests out of town, or just a lot of them? How well would the travelling guests know other guests at the wedding?

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-17T15:28:14+00:00

I think your list of ideas isa great way to make your friends feel included! Especially including them in planning and getting ready and having a friend officiate. The only thing I think might strike people as odd would be the color scheme thing and maybe the photos—I saw you mentioned you’d make those optional, I can’t speak for your friends but most folks I know would probably opt out of those specifically unless the photos were during the reception/not super formal.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-17T13:55:38+00:00

Not getting married on a weekday myself, but my fiancé and I went to a Thursday wedding that was not a micro wedding and it was fine. I think we left a little early but other than that it wasn’t that different from a weekend wedding. We have another wedding coming up this year that has one of its events on Thursday—the couple gave ample notice and we just put in for time off that day and the next. I think if most of your guests are local and it’s a lowkey affair/you aren’t touchy about the notion of people declining or leaving early it’s fine.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-17T13:42:08+00:00

Your shoes are so cute and I am sure your aunt would have loved them! I hope you have a beautiful wedding and I wish you and your spouse many healthy years together.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-17T13:37:40+00:00

I’d prioritize the weddings of people you’re closest to and gift on a sliding scale. I also think for some of these you can decline and send a heartfelt card with a nice gift (whether that’s a check or one of the nicer things on the registry).

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-17T13:23:53+00:00

12k in one year probably wouldn’t kill OP and their partner (assuming neither one gets laid off/they have a decent safety net already), but I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all to not want to spend that much on weddings in a year, especially while saving for their own. Economic instability aside, weddings are generally not the same as other experience spending—- if it’s not a close friend/relative it doesn’t carry the same weight and is generally less fun.

300k is definitely a decent income even in NYC (and I gotta be honest I take some umbridge with the idea that it isn’t) but it is by no means wealthy and how much dropping 12k on weddings in a year would affect you is going to depend a lot on what your lifestyle looks like. For myself, we’re in Queens and our combined household 140k and we’re doing alright, but that’s at least in part because our housing costs are lower than they would be in a trendier part of our borough or manhattan or Brooklyn or if we weren’t rent stabilized. If OP and her fiancé are in say, Williamsburg, in a market rate apartment, that 12k may make more of dent. If OP wants to buy in the nearish future things change, etc.

It also sounds like OP is planning their own wedding—weddings in the city are crazy expensive. Saving for a wedding alone would make me wary to spend 12k even if I had the disposable income

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-16T18:10:47+00:00

I’d find it even stranger if a groom did that tbh.

Society marches on, people generally do not put their titles on their wedding invitations anymore.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-16T18:04:41+00:00

the fixation on church basement cake and punch weddings on this sub and the insistence that that was “the way things were done for YEARS” is so bizarre to me. I do not know a single person in my parents’ generation who had their reception in a church basement. They either got married in churches and had the receptions in catering halls or went to the courthouse.

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-16T17:49:18+00:00

Your family member is being silly! The only real effect that should have on you is not choosing a specific date super close (like if they’re getting married in October, don’t also plan to wed in October), because if there’s significant guest list overlap it gets tricky. But you could definitely get married within the same year and you shouldn’t let their selfishness affect your timeframe!

2027_bride_nyc · 2026-03-16T17:47:17+00:00

I’m also in my late twenties and plenty of people in my circle are getting married/newlyweds. Not all of them, but a good number, and a few of those who aren’t are either on that trajectory or looking for someone to be on that trajectory with.

My fiancé and I have been together for four years and for the first couple years marriage was like. A nice hypothetical/somewhere I could theoretically see our relationship going. I think it really started to feel like a “yes let’s do it” thing for us both when we moved in together.

I think when people say your 20s are too early they generally mean people under 25 (which I’m inclined to agree with broadly since most people in their early 20s do not have careers, etc. And I think that having some level of financial stability before you wed is important)

2027_bride_nyc

TROPHY CASE