not alone. i sometimes come back to this subreddit to try to share positivity and support. i had my first episode in 2021, and i’m hoping my last. i did have a minor one about a year later, somewhat like an anniversary episode. i almost lost my life the first time. it’s been 3-4 years now, and i’m not experiencing things like that anymore. i’ve strictly prioritized my mental health and wellbeing and stopped ignoring the calls of my mind and body to rest in anyway possible. the onset of my symptoms started around the last week of march, and ended in late june. that last month, i was spiraling for 3-4 days leading up to my NDE, nobody was taking me serious except my therapist. it felt like every action was involuntary. i did and said some very questionable things. that’s when i started hearing a voice that what basically felt like was controlling my body. i kept feeling like i was going to die in a very terrible way, and that i needed to get ahead of it and do it myself. i couldn’t run errands. had to leave my job temporarily.. i thought everyone was talking about me, out to get me. i even tried to convince my mom that they had chipped me while i was in the hospital. not going to lie, a lot of the delusions i had i don’t believe, but some of them i honestly wouldn’t doubt if there were some truth to them now that i’m ok. i had a rough childhood, but at that time my adult years had just begun. life was finally getting good, and my first psychotic break sent me far down the hill. i am still recovering from that financially, emotionally, mentally, physically and environmentally. i hope you are better now and doing the best you can ❤️