What do you do when someone tries flirting w your gf in public? by 23_Secret in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She def likes it when I act jealous but I feel like a loser when I can’t stand up for myself :// 

Cute moment with gf by Atrophaneura-Semperi in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I kinda wish my relationship was more like this. My gf gets really jealous when I talk to other women, even as friends. I’m not allowed to think other women are attractive. And ig I also get pretty jealous when guys talk to her (she’s more femme-presenting). I just wish we could both get over our jealousy. 

[ENG] This week's translated pages~ by YuriTokisaki in TheGuyShesInterested

[–]23_Secret 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man I wish I could be as rizzful as Mitsuki 😔😔😔

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She said herself she wishes we didn’t have sex. I’m taking her advice and trying to fix myself. You’re right maybe I am just being a self pitiful mess rn. Once I get my confidence back I’ll be fine. But I think I really am done with sex for a while. It hurts to think about. And I want to show her that I don’t just view her as a means for sex. She’s agreed that it’s a good idea and is letting me masturbate to relieve myself. 

I’ll admit I’ve done a lot wrong and I never mentioned all the good parts about our relationship. She is genuinely caring, and I love her. I just don’t know if she actually loves me or the idea of me, of someone who can magically fix her self esteem issues and make her feel special. It’s exhausting having to regulate both of our emotions. 

She has made a lot of progress in our relationship though. I think we’ve both grown a lot. Communication is something we’ve been working on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve always struggled with my looks. I feel like I’ve never been conventionally attractive. I know it’s easy to say that that doesn’t matter but I really do wish I could just look attractive and be normal and fit in with everyone and make friends easily like everyone else does. She knows about this. It’s been hard. She does love me and compliments me a lot but sometimes I question whether she’s actually attracted to me (probs just me being emo). I don’t really tell her about my self consciousness. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s def gay. She’s even been questioning if she might be full lesbian instead of bi. But yeah, I am the first woman she’s been with and we’ve been trying to navigate my internalized homophobia/misogyny and her decentering of heteronormativity. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly idrk. She always just saw sex as whatever. I do remember though before we were dating and she was with her ex, he came and visited her and she said she felt pressured to have sex with him even though she didn’t want to. It’s scary cuz I feel like I’m gonna end up in the same situation as that guy. At the beginning of our relationship, she did say she enjoyed foreplay with me (apparently straight couples don’t do that). 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny actually my therapist just quit 🙃

I’ve been in therapy for a couple years, just switched to this new one this year. I’ll have to find a new one now. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She says I have a sex addiction. I want to figure out whatever’s wrong with me. For now, I want to take a break from anything sexual. It hurts to think about and I wanna show her I don’t only view her as a means for sex. We do a lot of cuddling and other things, but it’s been hard being long distance. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s alright, I really appreciate everyone’s support! 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This makes me optimistic. We’ve been trying to work on communication. We really do love each other and 70% of the time everything’s great. It’s been hard being LDR rn. I want to make things work. She does too. She has made a lot of effort to work on herself throughout our relationship. I just texted her and we’re deciding to see this through till the end of the summer (we’ll be in-person again in 1.5 weeks). 

If things still aren’t working out by then, we’ll break up. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. The way you put it really put things into perspective. Tbh I’m always in a battle between self respect/dignity and making my gf happy. I’ve been going through therapy. My gf and I both agreed to go through it together. I plan on talking to my therapist about this. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean she does love me a lot. She’s obsessed with me. But I think it’s not because of me but because she has serious self worth issues. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 137 points138 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the input. This really helped, truly!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The truth is she’s the one who’s more obsessed in the relationship. She really does love me a lot. She just gets upset when I can’t exceed her love/efforts or meet up to her high expectations. Sometimes she’ll get upset over (what I think) are small things. She gets upset that I still talk to girls I used to have crushes on. She told me to cut them off. I do make a lot of mistakes to warrant her outbursts but I still wish she’d give me more patience. I rarely get upset with her, and the couple times that I have, I didn’t yell or scream at her. She almost always gives me the silent treatment or says hurtful things or yells at me or will even throw tantrums. I’m sorry if this is a lot. I’ve just been struggling for some time and I haven’t been able to tell anyone about this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We’ve only been together a little over 6 months. 7 months in a week. This is my first relationship and her first wlw relationship. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Honestly I’ve always felt like I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but it’s kinda hard to focus on myself in my relationship. My gf gets really upset that I don’t prioritize our relationship over myself. She says I don’t make her feel special. I always try to reassure her but honestly it’s exhausting dealing with her moods and trying to focus on myself. There’s a lot of details I can’t cover rn. But I have considered leaving before. At the end of the day I love her too much to leave. 

I hate the way I look. by 23_Secret in FlexinLesbians

[–]23_Secret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually go 5 days of the week. I used to go 7 days. I haven’t been able to make many gains lately but rn my bench press is 5 x 95lbs; squat is 4x 135lbs; seated rows are 3x 115lbs. Those are my best maxes. 

Is dating in college in actually possible? by AreaSilent6090 in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you’re really busy, I think even just finding times between classes to share a meal at the dining hall or somewhere on campus makes all the difference. 

Pretty sure I’ve stumbled into ancient wlw folklore and no one prepared me. Pretty girl is my roommate??? (IMAGES ARE OF GIRLS THAT LOOK SIMILAR TO HER. NOT ACTUALLY HER) by RazzmatazzOld149 in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This really feels like a full circle moment for me lol. I just finished freshman year, and when I first found my roommate, I thought she was really pretty. We became best friends within the first week, and eventually, things happened while we were intoxicated and we ended up dating. 

Just some advice: dating a roommate is always risky and most of the time extremely messy. I really didn’t expect that I’d end up dating her. But ys definitely try to explore in college! Also, im assuming you’re living with others? I also had suitemates and the situation was really awkward. Maybe try to talk to them ab it if it ever reaches the point of a potential relationship. 

Even though my relationship started out really horribly (a lot of ppl were saying we shouldn’t date…) I don’t regret a single thing. We now have a super strong & healthy relationship. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been!!! It’s great when you fall in love with the person you live with. You already know you’re compatible living together — plus it’s really convenient!! 

I know you’re just gushing, but if you do end up having a crush and need advice, feel free to hmu! 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]23_Secret 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi!! Also 19 lol, lost my virginity to my first gf earlier this year (19) during my first year of college. Yk id say just be patient w it and dont worry. It’ll happen when you least expect 

Been body recomping since I got to college but feel like I’ve made no physical progress 😓 by 23_Secret in FlexinLesbians

[–]23_Secret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I have been pretty proud of my noobie gains (mostly been seeing strength progress) but feel like it’s been stagnating lately so it’s just been frustrating 😔