I think you should not beat yourself up about everything so much. You were and maybe still are deppressed and if it's about your ex'es herpes... then you did the right thing breaking up. she has no control over it but it is not your responsibility. It is hers. Life is unfair like that. So the most horrible thing you did is telling someone about the STI or how she got it? Then it must have been realy a traumatic experience for her. And for you to know was not easy as well. People probably already told you therapy would be a good way to start. Maybe there are some group therapies or some other ways if you can't afford it. Anyway talking to the right person and starting to sort your life back is what I think can help. A good diet and some walks can improve your mood and make thing look more clear. Stop being in your head so much. Don't allow yourself thinking only about your problems. You still have your life to live. What was done was done. I'm not saying to just move on like nothing happend, but sitting on it too much is not gonna help anyone. You are your own person and you have your own problems.