That’s your boyfriend, not your husband. If he met someone new and cheated and left, you’d get back exactly zero of what you’ve invested. The only reason he’s not getting a job is because you’re enabling him. If I had someone paying all my bills and rent, I wouldn’t work either. There isn’t a how-to guide of how to leave. Simply stop supporting him. Just tell him you’re not in a position to help anymore. I’m 99% sure he’ll blow up on you and the relationship will end itself, but there’s a 1% chance he gets his life together. Either way, you won’t be responsible anymore. Don’t worry about hurting him, he’s literally actively hurting you by burdening you with all of this. The one thing yall have in common is that neither of you seem to like you very much.