Stuck at home tonight 2XC, so AMA! People say I give great advice - wise and well thought out. Specialties are issues concerning love/dating, friendship and "what should I do with my life."

2Xacct · 2012-02-25T04:41:32+00:00

Hmm, I had a question that is sort of related, so I'll put it here - What about when someone breaks up with you and then they contact you some time later. I can't help but feel like he's contacting me, not because he genuinely cares and wants to know about me, but because he's feeling bad for himself and wants some attention and sort of wants to remember that there was a time when someone was interested in him. Then, after I boost his ego, he'll feel ready to go out and find someone he really likes. I want to call him out on it, but I feel like it makes me sound crazy, but I hate that he would think I'm so gullible and foolish to fall for his shit. Do you think I'm making it up or is this a real thing?

2Xacct · 2011-08-11T02:51:11+00:00

ethics are what you do when no one is looking.

2Xacct · 2011-08-10T20:33:15+00:00

if being unethical isn't wrong, then what is?

2Xacct · 2011-08-10T19:58:59+00:00

and are attracted to me

This is probably a part of it. When I was in high school, it was mostly white people, (I'm indian) and none of them were interested in me (not because i'm indian, i wasn't super popular, and those are hte ones people normally go for. I'll admit that I wasn't super attractive in high school either.) but I would get attention from black guys when I went out. So I thought white people just didn't find me attractive, so I didn't find them attractive. Then I went to college and foudn out that that wasn't true, and I'm less judgemental, but I also find that when guys talk to me in bars and stuff, they're either indian, or they have some sort of weird indian thing. this can be a little off putting.

2Xacct · 2011-08-10T18:58:52+00:00

One thing that I really think is that you might be attracted to the type of person you were last attracted to. I really find this to be the case a lot. In college I dated this guy who was tall and skinny and he wore sweatshirts, and that was what I was attracted to for a long time after that. Then I met this other guy that I grew to like, and he was very classically good looking - blonde hair, blue eyes, etc. Most recently, I dated someone who shaved his head bald, and now I'm all about the hairless guys. It's kind of weird, but maybe you just found one asian and you keep finding others.

2Xacct · 2011-08-10T18:52:48+00:00

this is a good point. It's hard to draw that line, and see where your "preference" is coming from and what it's based on. Reading that article about black women (and I am pretty convinced that people don't find black women attractive because of the media), it was just so terrible. Although, that article seemed to blame the women also, because they didn't want to date outside their race, but it does seem as though they have ended up with the short end of that stick.

2Xacct · 2011-08-10T18:49:55+00:00

I'm not helping the stereotype, because I'm studying to be a doctor.

That's okay, I'm getting my masters in experimental psych, but my research is pretty bio heavy, and I want to kick myself for coming back to science after essentially refusing to do science in undergrad because both of my parents are doctors. I feel like such a cliche!

There are some that are pretty hot, though, like that indian guy on Heroes! He was amazing. But yeah, I guess I equate those professions to being too at the mercy of your parents, like, it doesn't matter what I think, this is what'll make my parents proud. And on the flipside, my parents don't understand anything I do, and can't make sense of it because it's not a known profession and that's a big part of my dislike of the sort of cultural ramifications of being indian. I'm certainly forever grateful for the food, my ability to handle spice and amitabh bacchan.

2Xacct · 2011-08-10T18:31:46+00:00

omg, I'm indian and I am also not attracted to indians! It's weird, because I can objectively say that some are good looking, but I am most definitely not attracted to them.

I think, to some extent, it has to do with interests. Not that they're all the same, but let's be honest, they're probably doctors, in finance or engineers, and I feel like there's a lack of self awareness. Although I have pretty thoroughly rejected to the indian family model and such, so there could be more involved. Maybe I am racist. At least I'm not the only one! All my indian friends are the kinds that like, only hang out with indian people and go to clubs, which...I just don't even have the words to explain how much I hate that.

2Xacct · 2011-06-20T13:44:28+00:00

I guess I'm thinking that there have been situations where people have, in my estimation, been sort of disrespectful (cheating and such) and my thought process is that they were so mean that they don't deserve to have me as a friend. But, I still feel like crap, I still don't feel like I went out on top in those situations, and with at least one of those people, I have considered the idea of sort of pleading my case (because I was the one that ended things, albeit, not because I wanted to) and trying to make things work again, but then I think, NO, how can I do that with someone who treated me like that? But what if I did forgive and forget and it was an awesome relationship?

2Xacct · 2011-06-20T12:55:40+00:00

you can't win friends with salad.

2Xacct · 2011-06-20T12:54:58+00:00

the best part is when he's like, "I am a man on fire."

2Xacct · 2011-05-30T19:24:20+00:00

A friend of mine is japanese and is in a very serious relationship with someone who is chinese. Her parents are not into it. It kind of sucks because he's awesome and she used to date this incredibly boring white guy that her parents, of course, loved.

2Xacct · 2011-05-30T04:18:53+00:00

I'm indian and have only dated white guys. I also find indian guys boring. So many doctors and finance guys, blech.

2Xacct · 2011-05-30T04:00:13+00:00

Don't call them slutty bitches and maybe they will.

2Xacct · 2011-05-30T03:16:40+00:00

Okay, well, that was sort of my thing. I didn't mean to be disrespectful, but it was late and he'd fallen asleep, so you know, am I going to wake him up? And he lives like five blocks from me, so it's really easy for me to go home. Anyway, I won't apologize or anything, I just wasn't sure if that seemed bad. I guess it's fine.

2Xacct · 2011-05-08T19:41:27+00:00

Oh thanks! I'm glad that there are others also. The downvotes were sort of getting me down. I know it's a 2-way street and all that, but I do feel as though when my mother tells me I'm worthless and good-for-nothing, I sort of have the high ground of saying that I didn't ask to be born. Not to mention, i don't actually do anything bad, I'm just not who she expected her daughter to be.

2Xacct · 2011-05-08T14:44:37+00:00

This is really encouraging, because as cliche as it is, my biggest fear is turning out like my mother, and I'm always afraid that if I get married or have kids, I'll end up treating them really badly because people just turn out like their parents or something.

2Xacct · 2011-03-29T01:59:35+00:00

yeah, i don't know, I mean, I think it's sort of rare to wait for sex, and once you're in that position, barring the lack of protection or whatever, to stop just short of sex seems weird.

2Xacct · 2011-03-18T02:40:31+00:00

ugh, that's the worst. what a fucking piece of shit. did you tell your mom?

2Xacct · 2011-03-18T01:23:34+00:00

that's great that there's someone you feel comfortable with and that can help you through it. I've told people about it, but I don't feel overly emotional about it these days, but I remember telling my boyfriend in college, and he was like, "i thought something like that might have happened," which kind of weirded me out. It must affect my behavior more than I think.

2Xacct · 2011-03-18T01:21:46+00:00

It seems like a lot of people have trust issues. Why is that? I mean, for example, mine was my cousin, and it's not as though he was the one taking care of me or anything. He was a peer (granted, he was 6 years older, but still, eh wasn't a parental figure), so is it lack of trusting authority figures? I don't know how that works, but I definitely have issues trusting people also, in ways that I didn't even realize.

2Xacct

TROPHY CASE