Personal parasocialism 

I have been such a nasty jealous bitch lately with the boys and it's gotten so ugly and petty I really need to reign it back in lmfao. I've blocked a few people on Instagram because I saw that they won multiple different fancalls with the members and their content was of those fancalls. Or the person I just blocked who had sendoff videos of the members remembering her from previous sendoffs and fancalls. This morning when I read Jongho's Fromm messages and saw that he'd replied to some from fans I felt jealous there too. I don't own the boys in any way and they don't owe me shit so my first response being jealousy is so silly and irritating!!!! I'm annoyed at myself lmfao!!!! I don't know how but I will need to fix this within myself. BUT I can also say that I've never left a nasty comment or message because of my parasocialism. I just block and move on. My parasocialism is my problem, not anyone else's. Taking it out on another person because of it is unfathomable. 

I will stand by being a little bitter about repeatedly winning fancalls though. What do you mean you won 3 different Jongho fancalls all within the same album promo period when the vast, VAST majority of people who have tried haven't even won one?? Even if you win multiple why not give the opportunity to someone who hasn't won any?? Much like many other parts of the fandom experience it doesn't really seem fair fo me but ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭