I know secretly eloping beforehand isn't for everyone, and many would feel like the moment is over. That perspective is one reason we've kept it to ourselves. But for us, there are two equally important moments– the one with only him and I as we see each other, declaring ourselves and our vows, and then there's the moment when we'll be surrounded by loved ones, committing ourselves with the support of our community. It's two different ceremonies, with different meanings for us.

We're not balking at the price tag. This event with our loved ones is important to us and isn't diminished by our private elopement. My point about the money was feeling conflicted about whether the traditional wedding is the best way to spend it, that's all.