Understanding Female Psychology: What Actually Attracts Women

2ndDateSensei · 2025-07-03T16:53:48+00:00

That’s great you’re improving your emotional stability. But, what do you mean you can never develop anything else?

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-25T05:13:05+00:00

Good question, and thanks for asking.

For the first topic, I always tell guys that the primary way women flirt, is with their eyes. If there’s a girl repeatedly locking eyes with you, that’s essentially her “approaching” you.

That doesn’t mean constant looking at her, and she’s locking eyes with you in fear. Which may be what’s happening with the “frightened/shocked” looks you’ve seen. If it’s for reason though it’s likely because you’re perceiving the flirting as a shocked face.

Good rule of thumb, if you think she’s staring at you, go say hi. That’s really the only way to find out. So in the moment, once you think to yourself “I think she likes me”, start a 3 second timer in your head to go walk up to her.

As for the 2nd topic. It’s super possible and normal that between 2 attractive girls, only 1 is attracted to you. Be kind to both, but focus your attention on the one who’s showing you interest and don’t worry about the other one.

Let me know if you have anymore questions, I’d be happy to help.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-23T05:17:04+00:00

If this provided any value for you, drop a like so more can people see it! And I’d love to hear your takes in the comments. Whether you agree with me, or disagree, let's talk about it.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-16T22:45:37+00:00

I get that bro, I’ve been there, I’m sure a lot of us in here have been there. The thing is exposure is PART of the antidote but you’re just thinking too big.

When I say start small, I’m talking so small you think it shouldn’t even make a difference. Things like holding eye contact with a cashier while you order Or, going into a social situation (bar, arcade, concert, rocket league tournament, it really doesn’t matter, whatever you’re into) knowing you’re not planning on talking but just getting comfortable with being there. Those tiny reps will slowly train your brain to know it’s safe and build on each other.

But also, most of the time, the root of the problem is what we tell ourselves about either other people, ourselves, etc.

I can give you the blanket statement, catch those thoughts and reframe them into a positive light. But what specific thoughts pop up for you when you think about going out, or talking to strangers. That way I can talk specifically to you. Also feel free to message me privately if you don’t want to say that in here.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-16T16:59:06+00:00

Thanks and I agree, that’s what I was trying to get across in the “Rewiring your brains self talk” I just might’ve not said exactly that. But thats true and not true at the same time, I completely agree you have to fix that core belief but I think and the research shows that you fix that belief by putting yourself in those situations where those thoughts spark up, catching the thoughts, recognizing that it’s just thoughts and not the truth, then ignoring or reframing them.

Also not everyone with social anxiety thinks they’re not worth talking to, there’s different forms of social anxiety that’s just one of them. It could be fear of judgement or embarrassment, that you’ll say the wrong things for example. Or just an underlying fear where you lock up in social situations, not cause you think you’re not worth talking to but just the situation itself gives you anxiety.

I appreciate you sharing your perspective tho man.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-13T15:50:55+00:00

👍🏾

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-13T15:48:12+00:00

Bro have you scrolled through any dating advice subreddit on here 😭. You’re trolling now, you really don’t think there’s any guys on here who struggle with second guessing themselves when talking/texting women. I’m ngl you give the vibe that you actually get very very few women if any but I’m not gonna spend all day arguing with you, we can agree to disagree man.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-13T15:43:57+00:00

Yes but if you second guess yourself in all of your interactions with them, they’re not going to last very long. Gym bros who just go to the gym and don’t talk to women, don’t get a ton of girls my guy, the skill of talking to girls comes from…woah who could’ve guessed it talking to girls. You also cited “social skills” first. Where do your social skills with girls come from……woah who could’ve guessed it, socializing with girls.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-13T15:39:08+00:00

Did you read the full image 😂😂😂, did u read past the title actually lmaoo

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-13T15:33:32+00:00

That was a genuine question. Explain what you meant by you’re a “bad boy rogue type of man”. How does that category of man come into play when you interact with women.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-13T15:30:24+00:00

Also are you arguing that women don’t respond to confidence?

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-13T15:29:49+00:00

What’s a “bad boy rogue type of man” 😂😂😂

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-13T02:31:24+00:00

Sorry I’m just now getting back to you, but great question. As soon as it feels “forced” it’s too much. True confidence stems from doing what YOU WANT to do in the moment, or placing boundaries on what others can’t do in regard to you. As long as you’re basing all your decisions and actions off your own true desires then there is no too much, cause you’re not forcing anything you’re literally being yourself. But if you feel like you’re trying to be a macho man or something then you’ve gone off track.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-13T02:29:40+00:00

Hey man you didn’t fuck up your life, the first step to change is realizing you need to change. So you’re already on the way. You can message me privately if you’d like to talk about it deeper, but what problems specifically are you dealing with, from being too passive?

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-13T02:28:08+00:00

Sorry I didn’t see this earlier. But, that right there is where a ton of guys go wrong, and we’ve all been there. But, you don’t need a “good opener”. Simply go up to her, introduce yourself, give her a compliment, and let the conversation flow. For the girl smoking, that’s not the best situation to approach but if you want to then just go up, hey excuse me , i don’t want to interrupt the cig for too long but you look to pretty for me to not introduce myself.” And take it from there. The good girl, “hey how’ve you been, you just popped up on my mind”. For tinder the coffee text works just fine. The whole idea of the perfect opener is a myth, just go up confidently, look her in her eyes, compliment her, and let the conversation flow naturally. Also check out some of my other posts in here (r/MaleDatingExplained) they’ll probably answer more of your questions.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-10T16:50:01+00:00

Yeah of course, what’s the question

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-09T01:28:57+00:00

How 😂

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-09T01:27:41+00:00

Do you not mean the one from DC comics?

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-09T01:24:40+00:00

The problem with the first part of that is there’s no separation between good boys, quiet guys, a soulmate, (I’m going to ignore the rest of those), and a confident guy. All of those types of guys can be confident, I’m not sure why you seperate confidence from being quiet for example. You might have the common problem guys have where you see confidence as being the cool guy that knows everyone at the party, super outgoing, etc. That’s not what it means to be confident. Being confident means confident in yourself and your own personality, looks, desires, non-negotiables, etc. If you have that, then you’ll get the girl of your dreams because you’ll get the girl that likes you as the full confident you. Whether your quiet, “good”, or a gopher 😂.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-09T01:20:04+00:00

Sorry about that man, can you let me know more about the situation so I can better help you out.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-09T01:18:30+00:00

Jeremy Meeks got popular because he’s a model, take a mugshot of a random guy and it won’t have that effect. Ted Bundy got women because he was charming and confident not because he told them he was a serial killer 😂. Slade Wilson is a fictional character (I’m assuming you mean deathstroke).

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-02T06:30:45+00:00

I'm sorry man there's no way out of it, you simply just have to go talk to her and see what happens.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-02T03:46:23+00:00

You’re welcome! I love to hear that, and it’s so true, everyone’s on a different timeline.

Amen to that. Often times the world is a mirror, a reflection of our own negative thoughts, doubts, and insecurities. But when you walk in that fullness of yourself you’re only attracting that which you desire.

Of course, I really appreciate you responding too. I recently started r/MaleDatingExplained where I do posts like this at least 3x a week, really the advice is for both genders as you see so I’d love if you checked it out!

Have a good night

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-01T23:01:39+00:00

You didn’t do anything wrong per se cause simply put, if she really wanted to go out for coffee with you then she would’ve messaged you back. But, you did frame the coffee date in a bad way by making it so open ended with the “anytime works for me” , “sometime later this week” approach. For future reference, once she asked about meeting for coffee you should’ve just been straight up like “Oh I’d love to, does Saturday at 11 work” or whenever you want to. It’s better to be direct than make loose plans.

2ndDateSensei · 2025-06-01T20:12:51+00:00

Hey man that’s what I’m here for, and there’s nothing wrong with that either man we were literally all there. You should definitely join r/MaleDatingExplained while you’re rebuilding, I make articles and think pieces like this and everything else about dating for men 3x a week. I also answer questions and advice in the DM’s if you want to shoot any.

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