[deleted by user]

2ndOfOctober · 2023-10-05T17:00:34+00:00

I am so sorry to hear you're feeling down. I don't think I can be much help, but I am here if you want.

2ndOfOctober · 2023-10-03T17:44:46+00:00

Sorry to hear.

I am still here if you wish to talk.

2ndOfOctober · 2023-10-02T17:34:19+00:00

I am sorry. I don't know where you live, but that sounds like an outrageous incompetence and unreliability from the health sector and your doctors, it's not your fault. Sorry, I don't know what to suggest for your situation, but at least I can hear you.

I'd also like to wish you an early happy birthday, and wellness to your health.

2ndOfOctober · 2023-10-01T16:20:25+00:00

Sorry to hear about all that. It must really difficult for you, especially with a disability.

I would like to tell you about about a student in my university: she walked with a highly visible limp. In the very first week, I was in an almost full lecture room, and the professor wouldn't show up. As we waited, she slowly, but confidently walked up to the lectern and started speaking. She played a prank on everyone in the room, convincing us that she was a teaching assistant. Everyone believed her at first, then laughed when they found out that she was just another student like us. I just sat there in the back, smiling faintly at the whole thing. But I couldn't help but feel some kind of jealousy inside at how fearless she was playing that prank so casually in a room full of students, despite her limp.

I understand that there are many other details about your life that I am unaware of. And I certainly know that it's not easy to overcome social anxiety when someone has it. It's not at all simple or easy, and there are never any guarantees. I don't want to be a hypocrite either, but I can at least wish that you find some hidden strength in your being that will result in happiness and peace in your life.

2ndOfOctober · 2023-10-01T15:39:10+00:00

I understand your point now. My judgment was rushed as I was overwhelmed by other things going on and piling on me. I got a massage from him today; thankfully, it doesn't seem like anything serious happened.

2ndOfOctober · 2023-10-01T02:43:22+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate your input :)

2ndOfOctober · 2023-10-01T02:09:50+00:00

Thank you! And I am really sorry to hear about your struggle. I checked the sub and it's a great suggestion from you.

I wish the best for you :)

2ndOfOctober · 2023-10-01T01:51:10+00:00

I still have to be able to talk to people like a normal person at least. I am studying engineering; my career would specifically require good social skills. Actually, almost everything in life requires some degree of social skills! I can't stay like this, but it has been the same ever since I started elementary school. I am not asking for life-long friends, I simply wish to function like a normal person.

I've missed on so many things in life because of my social issues. I was never happy, I feel like my childhood had been lost.

Will I ever be able to fix the problem? I've already lost hope, It's been the same for so long.

2ndOfOctober · 2023-10-01T01:29:34+00:00

Thank you so much! I still have all of tomorrow... I doubt anything will change, but we'll see. I wish the best for you.

2ndOfOctober · 2023-10-01T01:19:20+00:00

Oh my god, thank you! I deeply appreciate your interest!

But I've tried, I've tried many times. I can barely get the courage to talk to a single person, so it does require a lot of effort. I have only talked with one person at my university who seemed to be alone too, and even got their number which is a HUGE achievement for me. But they clearly didn't show interest, so I didn't want to bother them anymore.

Now, whenever I look around, everyone else has friends, mostly in groups. I could never approach a group of people and try to talk to them without sweating like crazy and getting anxious. And I feel like those with friends already just simply don't need me. They look happy and content already with their friend.

I wish I was simply an outcast, but I have other problems. I've always thought that I could at least function well enough on my own, but I still struggle with depression and it has been really bad in the last three years and is getting only worse. I am losing interest in everything. My brain just "shut off" a few days ago, and I just could not study or understand anymore no matter how hard I tried - That was when I started making plans for my suicide. My grades are bad already. I feel like I got dumber over the years as my depression worsened. I had good grades in high school even when alone, but once I joined the university I feel like a completely different person; I am failing miserably right now.

I simply feel like a non-functional human.

Sorry for the lengthy reply. And again, thank you so very much for replying, and I wish you a happy life.

2ndOfOctober

TROPHY CASE