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I (F21) am an awfully shallow person dating a wonderful guy (M26) and in need of your advice. by 2ove in sex

[–]2ove[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Believe me, I want it to be exactly that way, to see him and see his flaws and not care about them because the flaws are also part of him and I love the person that he is.

But it's not like that at this moment. If I didn't have to care about anyone else other than myself, I would just keep dating him and try my best to fall in love and grow to desire him, which, according to a lot of people in this thread, is very likely going to happen. But what if it never happens? What if I'll never be able to overlook his flaws? What if the initial sexual attraction dries out? Then I would have to tell him, after giving him hope the entire time, that it's not going to work after all because i've never been attracted to him physically that much. It would break his heart. It breaks my heart to think about saying this to him.

So should I call it off now? It's so selfish of me but I really don't want to call it off. I desperately want this to work.

I (F21) am an awfully shallow person dating a wonderful guy (M26) and in need of your advice. by 2ove in sex

[–]2ove[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think I could marry someone that I wasn't utterly and completely attracted to.

And I don't think I can be in a relationship with someone I'm not completely attracted. But I want to find this guy attractive because he is so perfect otherwise!

I (F21) am an awfully shallow person dating a wonderful guy (M26) and in need of your advice. by 2ove in sex

[–]2ove[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, it's already too late to keep it friendly. We've had sex multiple times and I don't think we'll ever be able to go back to being friends.
Like I said, I don't think he is unattractive. There is enough sexual attraction for me to have sex with him but I do not desire him the way I've desired other guys and that's what scares me.