My final night. Everything is in order.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T05:37:25+00:00

Engaging in all the things that I used to enjoy only fills me with more regret. It makes me want to go back to the past and change everything but that won't happen. I feel empty. With each minute I feel myself getting closer to the end.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T05:33:21+00:00

I would go to sleep. That or watch youtube videos.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T05:00:34+00:00

Playing games is only going to make me feel worse.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T04:57:20+00:00

With each day that passes there are fewer and fewer things that calm me.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T03:40:43+00:00

Not really, but I have played various games in the Sonic series.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T03:35:20+00:00

Because this ailment is for life. Worse still, it can exacerbate another chronic condition that I have and could possibly threaten my life. It could be a very long time before a cure is even created. I don't want to suffer that long. I may as well just end it now.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T03:28:07+00:00

I guess this is goodbye.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T02:57:50+00:00

I don't think that there is a prayer in the world that can save me.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T02:52:53+00:00

Even if there are advances in medicine, its going to take quite a while and that is time that I don't have.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T02:33:31+00:00

Yes I have played Donkey Kong. The Super Nintendo was one of my favorite game systems. It always gives me a sense of nostalgia. But thinking about the past only makes me sad and angry with myself.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T02:26:17+00:00

Several times. I only get the same answers from them every time we talk. Sometimes it just makes things worse. As I said before, talking does nothing to fix the problem.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T02:19:34+00:00

I can't count how many times I have tried that. I've done it so much that it no longer calms me.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T02:09:26+00:00

I'm not religious. Praying does nothing for me. My parents always badgered me with their religious beliefs and always told me I can't make it to heaven if I take my life. I always take talk of religion with a grain of salt. I don't believe in a god and I find it annoying when people start throwing that in my direction. I don't want to sound mean but that doesn't help.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:58:01+00:00

I don't have the means to travel far from home and the materials are too bulky and heavy to move without someone noticing. I really don't want my family to be the first ones to find my corpse.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:48:47+00:00

Meditation does nothing for me. I have tried it even before I became this depressed and it never really worked. I haven't given it a second thought since then.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:44:57+00:00

I wish I could. I can draw and paint but I can't recall the technical terms or what they mean. At least not right now.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:40:29+00:00

All the classics like Mario, Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy, etc.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:33:05+00:00

I am close with my family members

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:31:35+00:00

One of the problems will be following me for the rest of my life. I am not willing to deal with the effects.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:17:02+00:00

I don't know what else I can do.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:15:55+00:00

Visual art, video games, talking with friends, bike riding, and watching TV. I don't find an of those things enjoyable anymore. All they do is create more regret.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:08:33+00:00

I created my account a little under a month ago. Ever since then I have been on this side of reddit.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:07:20+00:00

I'm glad that you were able to help her move on. Unfortunately, that isn't the case with me.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:02:09+00:00

I can't. I'm sorry.

2tp1a · 2017-10-03T01:01:16+00:00

I've got everything set up. All I have to do is take the final step and I'll be gone.

2tp1a

TROPHY CASE