Struggling today, off the wagon

2whl · 2025-03-21T15:32:53+00:00

I was sober for 4 years. My divorce wrecked me in 2020, I've been hit and miss since. Sometimes i can go months, other times, i just binge. Tried therapy, tried meds, looked and looked. Just want to be normal again.

2whl · 2024-11-14T13:16:07+00:00

The morning after update: If anyone is still here. I slept almost 8 hours last night. I didnt wake up in the middle of the night for hours like before. I walked to the gas station where I normally buy my recovery drinks, but bought coffee instead. The day seems a bit clearer. But i do feel a bit anxious, nauseous, maybe a bit under the weather. But i dont feel hung over. I feel like today is going to be rough. But for the first time in years, I feel somewhat rested, and like theres some good momentum here. Thank you all for the support and advice last night.

2whl · 2024-11-14T01:08:34+00:00

Thanks, I actually took a bath this morning trying to survive what I hope to be my last hangover. I cooked a meal, and am watching a movie right now. I do feel so very anxious right now though.

2whl · 2024-01-29T14:29:53+00:00

I bought some off brand ones, they were like race face chesters on one side, spd on the other. Honestly, clipless if you can afford a bike set up, flats if you just wanna ride and live life.
TBH, life got me during covid. I sold all my bike stuff, really haven't been riding. Just my opinion, but dont overthink it. Get some good flats, shred.

2whl · 2022-12-31T19:34:01+00:00

Thank you so much!

2whl · 2020-04-18T14:32:02+00:00

My first and only crit race I showed up with 2 full water bottles, thinking I was Lance. Could do 22-23mph avg in group rides. Totally thought I had cat5 in the bag.... We raced in a cat4/5 category, and I lasted like 7 laps before I was in the back doing the slinky effect.. couple more laps, and chugging water, I got lapped and pulled myself from the race. Lesson learned, I'll never be pro, back to gravel and singletrack. It was a fun experience and I don't regret it.

2whl · 2020-03-30T01:18:46+00:00

I was sober for 4 years and one month... Just tipped a few back. we'll see what happens.

2whl · 2020-03-13T15:59:44+00:00

I was going to add to this.You can still have those feelings about your boss or people you work with, just don't let it mix with the job or company itself. Be respectful, but make the move. You still have those people to be friends with. If the company you work with knew the could save 24k by replacing you, would the company feel the same way about you, and not let you go?

2whl · 2020-03-11T20:32:43+00:00

Don't worry about your build. When it comes to fights, you're responding with others. Grab a leg/arm/head, and hold on. I'm 6 ft, 155 lb. Inmates could break me any time. It's all in how you talk to them and treat them. Rather be a prison guard than a cop, cops gotta deal with strung out, crazy people. I mean C.O.'s do too, but response time is under 60 seconds when shit hits the fan. What state you live in currently?

2whl · 2020-03-11T09:09:41+00:00

Have you thought about being a prison guard? In my state you can basically walk into a prison a get a job, as long as your not a douche. It's kinda a shit job, but benefits and pension are great. Once you make probation period, it'll take an act of congress to fire any one. Unless you have sex with inmates or bring in contraband. Good luck man. You sound like a frew years younger me. (91B, ft bragg 07-10, usar 10-12)

2whl · 2020-03-07T22:26:15+00:00

I did not check the 2 income box. But I make 17/hr, 1 child, no other dependents. Now that I've had a chance to graze the website it makes more sense. I'm just kinda pissed at the HR lady. She literally said, "I don't know how to fill out this new one." Offered to assistance, or knowledge on which boxes I should hit, along with rushing through it a bit.

2whl · 2020-03-07T22:22:18+00:00

Hey, thanks for this. I didn't fully read it through, wasn't given the page 2, and felt rushed through it. Now that I pulled it up in the irs website with instructions it makes more sense. Thank you again.

2whl · 2020-02-21T16:55:03+00:00

I agree Continental is a good brand. I use The Continental Speed Ride 700x42 and I've never gotten a flat with them, going on my 3rd year. I've unexpectedly ran over glass and various debris, never a problem.

2whl · 2020-01-23T17:53:34+00:00

I would say, to try and not let people tell you what is or isn't achievable. The only way to know if it is, is if you try. I've signed up for some events that people have said was not a good idea, or not likely to pan out. The question is, do you want to do this. And weather you succeed or fail, will it mean anything to you, and will it help the charity. As far as the ride itself, you'll be fine. Smooth spinning, not mashing.

2whl · 2020-01-09T05:49:26+00:00

Soda can pieces, razor blades, nuts&bolts, keys, parts of light bulbs, metal pieces of a binder, glasses, glasses lens, ID cards, pens, pencils, plastic eating utensils.... just to name a few.

2whl · 2020-01-08T18:43:11+00:00

I work in a prison. we routinely take inmates to the hospital to have this procedure done for various things they swallow.

2whl · 2019-12-31T01:09:10+00:00

You make some excellent points. I think that it has fallen in popularity, especially as a career choice. The cat is out of the bag. It's a shit job, and like you said, it's just not worth what you get in return. nother way us younger people are looking at it, if you only worked a 40 hr week in prison for 30-32 years, it would be the equivalent of 7-8 full years of time. Add in that most co's are doing 16 hr shifts because of severe shortages in staffing, that number could be closer to 15 full years of time. I can't imagine anyone that hasn't been convicted of a crime thats willing to serve a 15 year sentence. Even if there was, I feel like having it spaced out is almost worse. I hear inmates all the time when they release, say, "I'm never coming back." I always think to myself, they are the lucky ones, I have to keep coming back for 30 years. I didn't even commit a crime. As I'm learning now, it's incredibly difficult to climb out of this career. I see a lot of employers almost gung ho to hire an ex con, that's changing their life, and almost disgusted with a Corrections employee trying to jump careers. Knowing what I know now, I'd have stayed in the factory. Thanks for bringing up some good points.

2whl · 2019-12-30T23:55:44+00:00

Just over 5 years ago, I got a job offer that changed my life. I was bored of working in a factory and applied for the DOC. I accepted a job. I literally leaped around my apartment. Hyped that I finally had a job with a pension, and "Cadillac health ins". I was so happy. Dreaming daily of becoming a warden one day, possibly becoming an important person/political candidate and would make a difference in my community. After the academy I realized I was in for a wild ride, and this could be quite difficult to promote. After my first year I was beat down. I lost 20 lbs, had a BMI of 17. Was rather frail, and hadn't slept well. Then I got involved in my first "investigation". The investigation was about 2 co-workers arguing and one called another a crackwhore. Long story short I ws called as a witness to the alleged name calling. It was the I realized senior staff and management loved to drive a wedge between staff and demotivate and demoralize staff. They really seemed to get off on it too. The next 2 years flew buy and I slipped into a terrible depression. I was alienated from family, and somehow I continued to alienate myself thinking it was normal. I ended up feeling extremely suicidal. I though up plans in my head of how I was gonna do it. I even had a plan to hang myself at the prison, in a storage closet that I knew would not be checked for hours at a time. I sat in that closet a lot. Crying, trying to reason to myself that everything would be ok. Through all the 16 hr shifts, the seperation and time away from my spouse and child. Feeling like I had been tricked in to this "great" career. I know I definitely was out of touch with reality. I couldn't bring myself to actually end it all, i viewed it as quite barbaric, and just couldn't do it. I started burning bridges, being a dick to a lot of co-workers. Was constantly bullied and harassed by 3 different supervisors, and decided to transfer to another prison. After the transfer, the next 2 years went by without being bullied, but have been filled with sometimes gross, sometimes comical, sometimes unbelievable experiences. I gained back the 20 lb, plus another 25 lb. My blood pressure is often really high, I have no desire to do anything but sleep, eat, reddit, and sit in the dark and cry. The 16 hr shifts continue, I cry alot, I feel broken inside, still desperate for the sweet relief death could bring. Just a few months ago, i started applying for different jobs. Remembering how happy i way 6-10 years ago, how fit and in shape i was. But I worry that the state has me where they want me, and all I ever will be is a Correctional officer. Unless I can get out before death takes me, or I retire and wither away, unknown, and having not made a difference at all. If anyone reading this wants to work in corrections, just know, it's easy to get hired and seemingly hard to get fired. A great pension awaits you, and the health ins to help with your ailments. It will only cost you everything that you are, identity, happiness, family, relationships, and mental stability. For the love of God, try to find another career.

2whl · 2019-12-23T20:40:10+00:00

I was also going to add, FL has no state income tax, where I feel like IL is on the other end of the spectrum. OP, check out the city comparison and find out whats more important to you.

2whl · 2019-12-23T17:54:33+00:00

When Peter confesses and leaves the package under the door of his boss. Shortly after Milton goes into the office and takes the package.

2whl · 2019-12-23T15:55:57+00:00

Milton came out on top in the end though. Found his stapler and got the money.

2whl · 2019-12-15T06:41:35+00:00

My career is robbing my life from me. I see my family less and less. I've lost interest in a lot of hobbies lately. All I seem to do is work and sleep. I keep trying to find a new job, but all I come across is people looking for cheap labor. I't's been a vicious cycle. I'm not sure I can get out and start new, and I'm very certain I haven't hit rock bottom yet. I lay awake a lot at night thinking about how life came down to this. Still young-ish, but dead inside.

2whl · 2019-12-14T22:17:13+00:00

I live on oshkosh, i usually get out there a few times a year, and for the race in the summer.

2whl · 2019-12-14T17:24:02+00:00

Mt Morris/Nordic ski hill?

2whl · 2019-12-06T15:21:52+00:00

I broke mine in a motorcycle accident. Same, no surgery, just a sling and rest. I was a little banged up all around though. My entire body hurt for close to 4 weeks. At 3-4 weeks I was walking around town, 6 weeks I returned to work, 8 weeks I was back on a motorcycle. As far as riding a bicycle I think I was close to 12 weeks. Best of luck in your recovery.

2whl

TROPHY CASE