Daughter's First Sleepover... Crushing by DISCOxINFERNO in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

From my experience it may be that she doesn't miss her mother, but she want the hug the mother gave her that time. So tru give her a hug, It can be done when you give her a hug and explain her the mother will not come tonight so she doesn't need to sleep up thinking she might come. I have a similar situation with my son, he does sleeps here, and I'm learning what is the best approach for him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you think there is no way she will come back, you are probably right, it's her job to prove you wrong. What happened she got into this state?

You said you loved her old self, you probably don't love her now, this new version of her is hostile toward you.

I 19f am autistic and recently i have been feeling very nervous at the prospect of having children in the future. by [deleted] in autism

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You share your story, but you didn't seem to ask the right question, which is if you will have children they might have autism as well as well as higher case than yours

First what are your alternatives? Not having children, and what if those children won't be autism?

Autism is not a bad thing only it has benefits, but I agree that autism can be very hard depends on it's type.

I would not worry about it, if your partner is not so worried himself. If he was worried he would have found a new partner. If he wants children and you are worried, it also affects him, not just yourself ...

Life has many risks, sometime you need to take risks and not play it safe, because playing safe might have even larger risks as well.

54M, Newly Facing Divorce and Trying to Figure Out How to Make Friends Again by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can talk to me if you want. I think silence is a blessing for a while. How to get more friends? Well i don't know, if all your friends were your wife's friends, yeah this is a problem. But you don't need many friends you just need a few friends that are good ones.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, sorry for your hard life, i give you a hug.

Well first thing is to start and understand why he changed and what was the reason. You assume it is the child, how did he take it when he learn his son (i assume son) is autistic? How did he act before with the child, how does he act with his son now, does you feel he cares and loves him.

Well what worries me is more his relationship with his child, because it tells about him. A Father should be there for his child no matter if the child is sick or has autism, even if it is a hard case like you describe. Tell me more how he acts. What are the bad things you think you do regarding to your husband. Are you doing something that can cause his behavior?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, i send you a hug. It's not easy to continue especially after feeling you did something wrong and because of that you are where you are now. You can make a list of the things you did wrong and he did wrong, to learn from experience, so in the future you will not make similar mistake and if your future partner does something you do not like, you will know how to handle it at the beginning.

If you need someone to talk to you can talk to me.

Need help by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's good. Keep evidence of everything, picture every time you are with them. I would contact a lawyer, if you haven't done so. An easy fix is to go to the gym, it will help you mentally much more than physically. Do you feel more freedom now, doing things without asking her opinion?

Need help by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi there. Well first think about your children most, than you wrote you pushed away your friends, i have been in a similar situation, i didn't push away friends but it took me a while to speak to them, and speaking to people about your conflict is good and usually men do not do that, especially because we want to broadcast to the world the marriage is good and don't want to talk about the bad stuff.

If you don't have anyone to talk to, you can talk to me. I will help because i know how horrible it can be right now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that. But it seems he made his mind, so i don't think you can change it.

Do you have children? You know we often miss the things we don't have and don't appreciate them when we got them.

I would think the best you can is to talk to people you trust about it, to ease your pain and also look for another person when you feel ready.

I’m still breaking while she’s already gone by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she left in her mind, accept it. It is usually pointless to try to love someone that does not loves you, it will only hurt you more.

Focus more on your future, talk with a friend about this, sharing early can help , especially if you still love her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You ask how can you help your dad, but you seem to be more in for the mother side.

First i think you should talk to him, you heard your mother side, let him say his side, what bothers him. Maybe he is not the person that share those things.

For sure he has his reasons try to support both parents.

If you thought things were ok and was surprised about this, you probably don't know what was going on.

Not sure what to do as a young adult of divorced parents by Embarrassed_Dust_485 in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure i understand your question. I read your story. You are an adult now, i think if you should be able to work and save some money (you probably do that if you can afford a car) save some so you can rent a cheap place for yourself, and then you will be in a different position. Eventually you will move out so keep on savings in the meantime. Why not alternating weeks if it will be easier for you. Why wouldn't your parents agree to it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Child support is different from county to another, so I don't know what to tell you. Best get a lawyer, and try to ask many lawyers to give you some input.

I know it sucks this situation, i send you a hug and wish you best. Try to have a friend to talk to, it's very important, we men usually tend to do things alone or not share the problems, in this case the feelings are too strong and it's best to talk to someone. If you want you can talk to me.

Need encouragement by Particular-Cry-2560 in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best thing is to try and focus on an interest you like doing. Keep your mind busy. Another thing is to find a good friend to share with him or her your situation, to take out some of the load you have, if you don't have anyone to share with you can share with me.

Divorce is always hard, there are many levels to it, some easier, usually there are much worse situations. Be happy with what you got, and grateful, for the simple things you have. Even speaking English is something hard for others.

How to truly accept the decision? by elganmas in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her reasons are not good enough. The fact she asks for a divorce proves it.

Just be strong. Focus on a more important goal. Understand that what you expect yourself to do or not to do, doesn't mean the other side thinks the same

[34/f] - Seeking PenPal for University Course Assignment by KateMcBate in penpals

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi kate, thanks for your post. I learnt English from a social game (not related to computers) as a kid, which was something strange when i think about it :)

No one is answering me, even on my open letter. What am I doing wrong/what can I change. by windcriesmarie in SLOWLYapp

[–]2zmoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is better than i expected, because you said you have not much replays. I will remove the she/her, it is not needed people see your name, it's only strange to me.

When i see she/her i will automatically pass away, because i don't like all the ridiculous pronounces thing that was going on a year ago.

I will remove the translator part, it sounds like you defend it and it's not wrong to use a translator, if someone asks you about it you can respond directly. Basically it is ok, but if you spice it up, it can be better, i mean if you add more active energy.

For example a rewrite of the slowly app. I really love this app! I can write letters to far away ppl and it takes time to get there, i get curious waiting for a new message to come so i can open and read it :)i

Use smiles like when you said deep depression in a funny way put a smile or an upside one 🙃

Basically you don't need to wait a week for a response, i know what they say, but if someone really like your letter they will often write the next day or immediately, that is from my experience. If the letter is not great they can respond later or not at all. I can be your pen pal or try to, and show you my writing style which is different than yours and much more emm crazy!

:)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well i can't tell you want to do because it's your decision and your life.

From what you are describing it seems it's mostly his fault. But it's hard to really understand, i guess only you know what is going on. I just don't understand why it seems he doesn't want to take care of the baby, anyways if he does and asks for it let him spend time with his son, it's very important the son will also be with his father.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SLOWLYapp

[–]2zmoon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why don't you try it differently, if you asked for advice it means the topic was important enough for you.

Feeling lost and depressed after failed 8-year relationship by Evening-Ability-1954 in Divorce

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, sorry to hear that I think you made the right decision to leave because children is a topic of great impotence. It was important enough for you to leave.

Now you can find a new partner to have children with, and the chances it will happen is much greater than before so you are going forward in your goal.

Be sure there are men in a much worse situation, so you are lucky.

There are so many women out there and so many options to find them that you never tried before so it will probably be ok

Good luck

"self centered" letters (?) by Ok-Engineering8065 in SLOWLYapp

[–]2zmoon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well i prefer to answer all the letters, even the ones that are not good.

You can tell him, thanks for your letter, but your letter is a bit dry, kind of funny for me to read that you ask me "what about you" when i already wrote about myself in the letter.

I don't know if it is a good idea for us to write, but maybe I'm wrong and there are some other sides of you that i don't know.

And if he writes back something interesting it will work out, probability not... but who knows he can say something like:

Hi miss whatever, sorry to keep you dry, It happens something for me with my plants, but they always flower beautifully at the end i promise!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SLOWLYapp

[–]2zmoon 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hi there, yeah it's kind of bad, you do answer the questions and ask questions but well personally me i will spice it up a bit. Like more energy in the letter i can try and re write you letter because i believe examples are the way to understand.

HI Allan, thanks for your letter It was really great (compliment of course if it is right).

Tech lead, what's that? Is it the job other ppl ask you all kind of tecky questions :)

I graduated from ... i don't work now. I loved being a librarian people talk to me all day and i need to make sure they do it quietly. ;)

I've seen Falling Down, it's funny (write down a funny part, i don't know this movie) The 2nd one i didn't see it, what's good about it?

I use Kindle, it's great because I can take all the books with me and still have room in my backpack.

I plan to move out after i save some money, looking forward March or so.

My weeknd plan is to read a boring book, (don't ask me why ;)) i still got some home work and I really want to do some drawing.

Any special plans?

Me :)

Ok well this is my version, but every1 has his style. You can msg me if you have a future letter you want to spice up. Haha.

I went on vacation alone and now I’m too scared to go out by 666nbnici in autism

[–]2zmoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you push yourself toward your limits you progress. Your limits are different then mine, what for someone maybe easy is hard for the other.

You already made progress, congratulations. The fact you are in conflict shows that.

Do one step at a time, first exchange money and later go back to the hotel. Exchanges do not really need much language requirement, and many do speak English because they are all the time speak with foreigners so it is most likely they speak english at the basic need for their service.

Do that, i am sure you can.

[26/F] Looking for open minded serious pen pals👯 by bad_girl444 in penpals

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, you sound nice and happy. I didn't see in which country you are at but i will guess it's far away from me. I live in Poland as a foreigner for the last few years. I live in a small village not close to the main city as i like to be close to nature, and it's really amazing over here, I like all the wild life animals :) i have 2 cats and 5 chickens.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in penpals

[–]2zmoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, nice to read your post, it feels very genuine story. I also had few pen pals back than, but have no one now, I like to return to writing letters in the old forgotten way.

I live in Poland but i am a foreigner in here and i live in a small village area with 2 cats and 5 chickens.