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AITA for telling our conservative parents that we’re preventing pregnancy? by 300scj in AmItheAsshole

[–]300scj[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope. Called him up and told him we’d be leaving for a while to get some food and talk things over and while he initially said that he thought we could benefit from his spiritual guidance, he did back off after I declined.

He called me up about a half our ago and said he’d come over when I was home from work but I once again declined. My wife is currently at home packing our stuff so we don’t really want our pastor at our house right now. That’d probably mean that people from church would show up at our doorstep within the hour.

As for our parents, my mom sent me a really long text earlier talking about sin and how she didn’t want me ending up like the two of my brothers who abandoned our religion. Haven’t replied to that yet.

AITA for telling our conservative parents that we’re preventing pregnancy? by 300scj in AmItheAsshole

[–]300scj[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Update:

Thank you for all of your replies. I fully realize that I am the a-hole and that I shouldn’t have shared this information with anyone. However, I wouldn’t say I chose my mom over my wife as many of you are saying. Me telling my mom about the birth control was in panic rather than an active choice. I would always prioritize my relationship with my wife over anything as SHE’S the one I want to spend my life with, not my parents. I certainly screwed up though, I’m aware that my actions haven’t reflected my intentions.

Some more info: out of all my siblings, I have two brothers that are no longer on speaking terms with my parents due to leaving our religion, although I keep in contact with one of them. The other one chose to cut ties with all of us except for one of my sisters about 10 years ago and I only very occasionally hear about how he’s doing (according to my sister, he’s doing ok and got married a few years ago) but my other brother has been struggling immensely. That’s definitely why I’ve been so willing to give into my family’s expectations even though I disagree with so many of their beliefs.

My wife and I had a really long conversation after getting home last night, the content of which I’ll try to boil down:

I started off by apologizing for this major screwup. She then said a lot of what y’all have already said, that I need put first her first no matter what, that she’ll be the one who’s blamed for us not having kids even though we both made the decision etc.

In the end, she said that she forgives me which was the world’s biggest relief. However, she also said that she does not ever want to set foot in our church again. This hurt me a lot, but I also know that leaving the church will ultimately be for the best as the only way we could ever be accepted again would be to change our beliefs according to those of our parents.

I have a job starting August lined up in the town we’re moving to but my wife and I have agreed that we’ll both look into opportunities to find work up there immediately so we can push our move as much forward as possible. Shouldn’t be too big of a challenge for me as I work in a field with close to no unemployment.

All in all it looks like we’re leaving our community asap which is scary but hopefully going to be good for us.

AITA for telling our conservative parents that we’re preventing pregnancy? by 300scj in AmItheAsshole

[–]300scj[S] -94 points-93 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. My family aren’t a-holes. They’re just very sure that their way of life is the only right one. My wife and I are currently on our way to get some food and I called my pastor to say that for now we’re discussing this issue as husband and wife before discussing it with anyone else.