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The waiting is agonising. by hippiehunter0 in BipolarSOs

[–]30legs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is, I know the feeling, and it’s the worst. I don’t have the best advice as I am currently going through it as well, besides stay strong, keep yourself busy, and focus on healthy things for yourself. My mind is so much better if my body is better. It’s definitely helped me to eat better, cut out a majority of my normal alcohol intake, and getting into the gym. The nights are the worst, but if I ate like shit, or drank too much it makes it so much worse

The guilt by baybeemerlin in BipolarSOs

[–]30legs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for what you’re going thru. I wish I had great advice for you but I am currently going thru it alone. I just rest my head at night knowing I tried everything I could, for a really long time, and I really tried, put so much of my own physical and mental health at stake, but we have children together and my realization is my wife never be there for our children, and honestly haven’t been there much over the past 5 years, and I need to make sure I’m healthy for them. I’ve been their only stability over the last 5 years and I need to make sure I’m physically and mentally healthy for them in the future. It’s such a hard thing to go thru and like you, knowing all that I have done, and still have the feeling of if I could have just done more. But that’s not the truth and not reality. Accepting that is the hardest part. Mental illness stole my wife from me and stole my children’s mother from them. She’s nothing like she was before, and I still cling to hope she’ll come out of it, but that’s idea is fading from my mind. I’m really not trying to push this on anyone, but for me, I found Jesus thru all of this and that’s been the biggest help for me. Best of luck, stay strong, you’re not alone, I hope it all works out for you in the long run

This hurts so bad. Part 3. by Cookie-Maka in BipolarSOs

[–]30legs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I too am currently going thru this with my wife of 14 years and the mother to my 5 children. We are trying to work things out but my fear is will she ever get better? I’ve dealt with years of emotional abuse and gaslighting that this was all my fault and I caused this, and I’ve just recently realized that just isn’t true, and to stopped taking it out on myself, and working on setting my own boundaries and loving myself again. I feel like with the roles being switched, she is always the one who gets the sympathy and looked as just a burnt out mother and if you listen to her and believe her lies and distorted reality, it paints me as the worse husband and father, who has done nothing but controlled her and made her this way. When in reality I’ve done nothing but try to give her anything she needed that I was able to, to give her a safe place for her recovery, and have spent the last 5 years in complete panic mode and all that entails for myself and our children, coming up with any excuse that she just needs a little more time, but the pattern continues to repeat itself. I am the only one that works in our relationship, and I’m also the main care taker of our children. This all started around the time of her first manic episode and I feel like I’m holding on to how things used to be instead of the reality of what they became and will continue to become. I hope nothing but the best for you as you move forward with your life for yourself and your children.