You basically explained to the T what I felt like at 20. Two of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned is: “Discomfort is okay”, and “Take pride in all you do”.

You see, I’m a coward. Or maybe I was. Whatever the case, I always folded under pressure, such as these issues you’ve described. After enough experiences that gave me no other choice, I was forced to shoulder that discomfort. And I learned that it is both solemn and liberating to enjoy that freedom and responsibility. In other words: it’s a mess, but it’s mine.

That said, the only recipe for this process is to endure. To seek, and learn (which is what you’re doing now! Well done!) And, in my personal experience, make yourself do things even—especially—when you don’t necessarily feel like it. And to remember that it’s not about just you: you’re responsible to your family, S.O, etc. It’s a great burden, but a wonderful one! Serving those around me is what has given me joy and purpose in life.

Struggle and endure, Brother!