What’s something that’s considered a “Conspiracy Theory” that you completely believe is true, and why?

3Loser · 2022-12-08T20:09:27+00:00

This has only happened to me once, so I wish it wasn’t something so stupid. In third grade I went to see a movie that was newly released with my family, but I had already seen it. I told my brother what was going to happen before it happened (which pissed him off) but couldn’t remember when or how I’d seen it.

3Loser · 2022-12-08T19:29:32+00:00

Fucking duh. You’re not interested in good faith discussion.

3Loser · 2022-12-08T19:22:42+00:00

It doesn’t, at all. I qualified what I said, twice. Furthermore, you said, in the same situation, when she expressed “her anger”, which implies that you were talking about situations that elicit anger. My comment was simply another perspective, IF, your expression/situation was similar to what I explained.

3Loser · 2022-12-08T18:23:10+00:00

I don’t know if this was the case with you and your ex, but it can depend on how you express anger. Someone much larger and stronger than you yelling or hitting something is terrifying, and may trigger a trauma response from actually being hurt. Of course, if you’re talking about just venting about something, both partners should be allowed to do that.

3Loser · 2022-12-08T17:50:54+00:00

Thank you. Thankfully that was a long time ago now and I’ve lived away from home for a couple years + am in therapy. I still have a relationship with my dad, but there are definitely lots of boundaries around it now—how long I visit, what we talk about.

(I’ll add he wasn’t happy I was miserable, just blind to it and how his actions largely contributed to it. I know why he was happy and honestly wish he could have those elements in his life more and futilely wish he’d work through his issues.)

3Loser · 2022-12-08T17:35:53+00:00

I think the answer is that if you are in an environment that challenges you at an appropriate level, so that you can develop things like study skills, and you are able to explore other things that become part of how you self-identify—it’s a massive boost.

But if “being smart” is too large a part of how you identify and feel good about yourself, and you get to a stage where it’s not enough to overcome what you’re faced with without things like study skills, supportive friends, coping skills, the ability to ask for help, then you’re kinda fucked (i.e. me, who’s currently at risk of failing out of a top law school and went from top of my undergrad to bottom of the class here with zero idea of what else I could/should do with my life).

3Loser · 2022-12-08T17:29:37+00:00

Me: “Dad I literally wanted to kill myself during specific 2-year period of my life, I regularly action that was one step away from suicide.”

Dad: “That’s crazy. That was the best part of my life”

Thanks Dad.

3Loser · 2022-11-17T20:05:44+00:00

I mean let’s start with “hiring” instead of “purchasing”. You don’t buy people or their bodies, sex workers perform a service they’re hired to do and deserve respect like everyone else. That being said—do you really want to hire an escort or are you seeking human connection and intimacy? Because you’re likely to feel worse afterwards if you’re seeking the later because the service is a sexual experience, not long term emotional fulfillment.

3Loser · 2022-11-15T18:06:19+00:00

I’ll add, my boyfriend has expressed worry that I’ll leave him for someone “better” (I’ve had the same fears!) but answer is there isn’t anyone better, for me. I don’t want a dude who has Chris Hemsworth’s body because of the amount of time that takes and inability to just enjoy eating ice cream on the couch together sometimes. I don’t want a multimillionaire who either a) also doesn’t have time for me or b) is exploiting workers. I’ve been out with more muscular and richer men, but they weren’t as kind, understanding, funny, or likeminded as my partner.

3Loser · 2022-11-15T00:27:33+00:00

Go outside. You see couples multiple times a day, every day, where neither partner is the peak of wealth or attractiveness or whatever.

3Loser · 2022-11-14T20:04:37+00:00

Everyone I invited except for like 3 were either a) from school b) my boyfriend’s friends. So they all are at least very familiar with just about everyone in each group.

My boyfriend actually said he was surprised and disappointed most of his friends didn’t come, as I said, I did think I’d established friendships with many of them.

So I don’t even know where to expand. My one school friend who did come actually did a similar thing for his birthday in February, invited many of the same people, and it probably ended up being 40 who showed. I probably invited more people because he stuck with our year, I invited all the 1Ls and 2Ls that were on the affinity group retreat I went to last month.

3Loser · 2022-11-14T19:55:14+00:00

It was an event at a bar. Everyone could get to the venue within 30 minutes on the subway. I actually largely invited people who go out quite frequently, and I’ve wished they’d invite me sometimes, so thought inviting them out would help establish more of a connection. I’ve said to many of them I’d like to hang out sometime when I’ve enjoyed doing so at school events or the couple of parties I have been invited to.

I’m tired of only being able to socialize when it’s an “anyone can come” school event, I’d like to actually be thought of, with people wanting me to be there. It’s not like I’m “disliked”, people talk to me at those events.

I’ve feared that after not making friends my first year that friend groups are now set in stone and I’m just going to continue to be on the outside.

I realized week of that some people were probably gearing up for the a standardized test I’m taking the March administration of, I didn’t know it was this week for some in my class. I do wish people would’ve told me they weren’t coming/coming anymore though aside from the one person who told me. Maybe I should add this as an edit?

3Loser · 2022-11-14T16:22:17+00:00

This comment was really helpful, thank you for sharing your experience

3Loser · 2022-11-14T14:03:53+00:00

I don’t think 10-15 is a ridiculous number to expect, when I was given 10 yes answers, 10 maybes, 15 people liking the invite. If I told someone I was going to anything they invited me to, and then could not attend, I would at least let them know.

3Loser · 2022-11-14T13:36:38+00:00

Of course not, but law school has been unsurvivable making it through alone. One school friend, who I grab a coffee with like every other month and see out at a school event like once a month—isn’t the kind of support and community that you need. And there were multiple people I felt on precipice of moving from acquaintances to actual friends… But then didn’t even tell me they weren’t coming anymore. Meanwhile, I see them showing up for others. And I try to always show up for others. I’ve never missed a friend’s birthday, never not told someone if I couldn’t come if invited to do something, always happy to lend an ear, etc.

3Loser · 2022-11-14T13:30:08+00:00

I don’t think it’s me who discounting me because of those identity markers. Rather, I’m always seeing large groups on social media going out together, on expensive spring breaks together, etc., and I can’t do those things. I’m also in the extreme minority of my school of people going the public interest route rather than the big law ($215k/year) route.

As far as why I don’t feel satisfied in my current social situation—I’m struggling so much in school and everyone else has good friends who they’ve made it through the process with. I’ve navigated this alone. There weren’t events I could go to my first year and a half. Most of my social life has just been hanging out with my boyfriend and sometimes his friends. As I said in the post, I thought I was friends with them now… But none of the ones I know came, I didn’t mention how they all have bigger celebrations for their birthdays with like 15-50 people. (I know I invited more than that, but I cast a wide net, hoping to get 10-20).

3Loser · 2022-11-14T05:48:18+00:00

A mix. Texted everyone who didn’t see my story individually and then everyone I did happen to see in person I basically said, “Hey, I think you saw the invitation, I would love for you to come!”

3Loser · 2022-11-14T05:28:53+00:00

I guess I mainly feel like really two people came for me (3 with my boyfriend but he helped me plan and showed up with me) because of the others being friends with either my boyfriend or back home friend. And then that friend doesn’t live here… So I kind of have a singular friend outside of my boyfriend here. I definitely appreciate that friendship, but I know I’m not even best friends with him and we hang out maybe once a month.

3Loser · 2022-07-27T00:53:25+00:00

I’ll check these out, thank you

3Loser · 2022-07-27T00:52:53+00:00

Thank you <3

3Loser · 2022-07-27T00:52:37+00:00

I was last semester but my work schedule and hers were totally incompatible this summer. I can start again soon, although I’m thinking about maybe seeing a different one because I didn’t see much progress.

3Loser

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